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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To use a Food Bank if I also had a holiday last month?

392 replies

NoseAboveWater · 09/12/2016 17:20

Checked my account this week and it's not good. I've had a few job options not work out. I now have an offer for February for part time so I'm obviously very happy, however it is minimun wage and freelance so I feel cautious about taking on a payday loan just in case. Not eligible for proper loan from bank as no income right now.

I went on holiday with a new bf last month before things got so serious with my money situation. Part of me thinks I need to prioritize rent and bills I can just about pay until new job starts, if I don't really buy food for the second half of December - I have plenty of food for about a week. However, I should not have gone away so it's my own stupid fault and so really don't deserve any help from the Food Bank. I've been hanging around supermarkets late for a few days trying to get reduced items but not having much luck. Been looking online for information about getting thrown away food from restaurants at night, not found anything yet, but if anyone knows where I could get that that would be great?

I cannot ask family or friends and certainly not bf. Wwyd? No children btw it's only myself so no worry there.

OP posts:
creakyknees13 · 09/12/2016 20:03

VeryBitchyRestingFace, you forgot a 4th one.

  1. Finding temporary paid employment is as easy as pie. You will get paid more or less immediately and there are also loads of options for cash in hand work like babysitting and ironing, which pays incredibly well. You literally just click your fingers and you have a job.
Miserylovescompany2 · 09/12/2016 20:11

Hindsight is a wonderful thing (not)

You can get a referral to the food bank from your GP, citizens advice, social worker or job centre.

I hope things pick up for you OP :)

Soubriquet · 09/12/2016 20:13

And I was just pointing out it isn't always possible waggymamma

ElizabethHoney · 09/12/2016 20:13

There are probably still some shops and delivery companies hiring for temporary Christmas workers. And you could try advertising your skills on gumtree or elsewhere. Not to mentioning selling some of your stuff on eBay.

Do everything you can to earn the money you need, and then to build up an emergency fund as a matter of urgency.

And in the meantime ask boyfriend for help. It's not fair to use money donated for those in desperate need when you have a boyfriend you just went to Paris with, whom you haven't even asked for help, and when there's a good chance you can find some temporary paid work.

haveacupoftea · 09/12/2016 20:13

Get a referral for food bank but also ask for help with budgeting while youre at it.

Thisjustinno · 09/12/2016 20:15

I doubt you'd qualify for a referral to a food bank.

Great if you do. If you don't, I think you could manage for a bit on pasta. It costs pennies per portion but is filling whether you have a bit of veg/sauce/butter/ cheese/tinned toms or whatever.

WaggyMama · 09/12/2016 20:17

Creaky I don't know why you are having a go at me - I was offering advice, as were other posters. Just because they don't fit in with your views doesnt mean others are wrong.

You don't have to be 'ashamed' just because donating to food banks isn't a cause you support.

woowoowoo · 09/12/2016 20:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 09/12/2016 20:21

ElizabethHoney, you're another one who has just dropped into the thread hundreds of posts in. Have you read it? Picked up that OP has MH issues? Can't ask her boyfriend for money and isn't able to give further information on that? No, thought now.

OP, if you are still reading - feel free to PM me. I'm so disgusted by some of these posters. I'm in South Wales but en-route to London fairly regularly. If you are along the M4 somewhere I'd be very happy to bring you food to tide you over.

ClopySow · 09/12/2016 20:21

Yes, get a foodbank referral.

They're for hungry people who are struggling financially. You fit that criteria.

Please ignote the total twats on this thread.

CaptainMarvelDanvers · 09/12/2016 20:22

Yes, try and get a referral for a foodbank. People make mistakes, it doesn't mean they should go hungry and many foodbank projects would agree.

If you can't get a referral, go to an active church they usually have links to somewhere which could help you. They will have seen all sorts of people from various backgrounds, they won't judge.

Notapodling · 09/12/2016 20:22

Firstly, like other posters have said, you need a referral. Secondly, yes. YABU.
I recently did a shop for the local food bank because they're always short at Christmas. I did that even though I'm really struggling at the moment because I know there are people even worse off than me smd I can't think of anything worse than struggling to feed your children at Christmas. I haven't been able to afford a holiday in years.
You sound like you need more help planning your finances rather than anything else.

creakyknees13 · 09/12/2016 20:23

Creaky I don't know why you are having a go at me - I was offering advice, as were other posters. Just because they don't fit in with your views doesnt mean others are wrong

Your 'advice' was that the OP should have built up savings and should not have gone on holiday. Great, how does that solve her current no-money for food problem?

creakyknees13 · 09/12/2016 20:25

Thisjustinno

I doubt you'd qualify for a referral to a food bank

Oh right, and that would be why, precisely? Are you involved in the referral process so that you can make that assessment?

waitingimpatient · 09/12/2016 20:26

Use the food bank, don't feel bad. Just make a mental note of what happened and try to plan things a little better financially in future
Certainly don't feel bad about it

creakyknees13 · 09/12/2016 20:26

You sound like you need more help planning your finances rather than anything else

As do many of the people who can't feed their children...

witsender · 09/12/2016 20:26

Trussell Trust Foodbanks will signpost to agencies that may be able to help, and many will offer budgeting support. However it doesn't sound much like the Op (who has been shamed off, well done PPs) really needs it...and unfortunate stream of events has left her wanting. She went on holiday thinking she had work lined up. Not the best idea, buy not the most outlandish either. She has work coming up, and is looking. She has MH problems and is recovering. She is a prime candidate for help from a Foodbank, yet some people on here think they know better than the Foodbank themselves who should be, is and isn't eligible for help? Bonkers.

NauticalDisaster · 09/12/2016 20:31

Some of the posts on this thread have made me so sad.

OP, food banks are for anyone who might go hungry. Your GP can refer you and they will assess your situation and some will also help with future planning so you don't find yourself in the same situation. Please do seek help, no one should go hungry.

ClopySow · 09/12/2016 20:31

You sound like you need more help planning your finances rather than anything else

No, she needs food.

pregnantat50 · 09/12/2016 20:33

I feel your desperation OP. You wouldn't have come to MN if you had another outlet. If I could spare some money then I would help you out but sadly my own financial situation isn't good and like you I couldn't turn to family, friends or BF for help. Sometimes things are complicated but there are genuine reasons for not being able to turn to people, we don't know your circumstances and I imagine they are maybe embarrassing or awkward to explain.

What are your plans for Christmas, has anyone invited you over for a meal, sometimes they may offer you to take the left overs home, although you may feel uneasy asking. I just want to offer you a HTH xx

WaggyMama · 09/12/2016 20:34

Creaky Everyone should ensure they have enough to tide them over. It won't help this situation but hopefully the OP will create some savings so she isn't in this situation again. I agree the OP needs some help with finances - But this isn't what YOU want to hear?

5amisnotmorning · 09/12/2016 20:37

No one should be hungry. Use the foodbank op and pay it on when you can. We have all screwed up something in our lives just lots of us have people we could turn to for support. I am in Berkshire. If you are anywhere around I would be happy to help.

BIWI · 09/12/2016 20:37

I doubt, at this moment in time, that it's what the OP wants to hear either Hmm

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 09/12/2016 20:39

I agree the OP needs some help with finances - But this isn't what YOU want to hear

Except OP wasn't asking for long term fiscal advice.

She wanted to know if it was unreasonable to use a food bank given her recent holiday.

Bambamrubblesmum · 09/12/2016 20:39

We donate to food banks and you'd be very welcome to whatever we gave.

We all mess up at one time or another, thank goodness there are some safety nets out there to help you when you fall.

In addition to the food bank, could you find out about volunteering over Xmas- maybe you'd get a meal included? Your local church may also be able to help out, maybe meal clubs for the elderly you could help with? As someone suggested Sikh temples are a great source of support to the community.

Once you are back on your feet give a donation and pay it forward to the next deserving soul.

Good luck and keep your chin up.

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