I didn't buy my sister the same as my brother.

[Confuseddragonfish]

The background to this is that for years I have taken my siblings Christmas shopping every year since I was 13. We go one Thursday night when the late night shopping is on in our town.

So I planned to take them today. My DSis is 17 now and when I asked her she said she didn't want to come with us. However my DB (8) still wanted to go so I took him. I told my Dsis if she changed her mind she could come and meet us but she didn't.

So because my Dsis didn't come we had some extra time before our dinner and the bus home and my DB wanted to go to the park . However on the way there we spotted a Christmas market in a church so we went to have a look round.

I bought my DB a cake and one to take home for my sister. There was also a raffle and one of the prizes was a stuffed bear with slightly wonky eyes. DB took a shine to the bear and asked if he could try to win him. I explained that he probably wouldn't win but he wanted a go so I payed for 3 tickets for him.

He didn't win the bear but DB was really good about it and he asked the lady running the stall to make sure the bear went to a nice home.
On our way out of the church the lady on the stall stopped us and offered DB the bear. She told him he had been such a good boy that the bear wanted to go home with him.

So I dropped him off at home with the bear and later on my Dsis text me saying she thought I was being really unfair and I have really upset her because I should have bought her more than a cake as DB had a bear and a cake. Also if I had told her we were going to a christmas market she would have come and I should have mentioned it. I explained to her what happened and she told me I was still being unfair and DB is my favourite.

My dad then text me saying he didn't understand why I hadn't got something else for Dsis. So I again explained what happened. But he said I was unreasonable as I should treat them both equally. I haven't replied yet.

I am admittedly a bit annoyed as my Dsis is 17 and my DB is 8 so I don't necessarily think they should be treated equally anyway. Also I offered to take my Dsis and its not my fault she decided not to go.

However I suppose they are both my siblings and maybe I should have thought about getting my Dsis something else as well.

You sound a lovely big sister and I'm sure your mum would be proud. Your sister sounds a spoilt madam. Is it fair to say she has been pandered to and babied a bit due to your mum dying when she was young? If so it is understandable but she does need it pointing out that she is nearly an adult herself and shouldn't make a fuss when a young child is given something she isn't. As pps have said, if she doesn't come she doesn't get. She wasn't there to have money spent on her. That was her choice. She's lucky you're lovely enough to have brought a cake back for her as you didn't have to do that at all. As someone else mentioned, most 17 year olds would be spoiling 8 year old siblings themselves, not demanding to be treated the same as them! You've done nothing wrong, don't let it get to you.

I would be evil and give her age 8 spider man pants for christmas.

If you didn't take your brother the first two years you started this tradition, you can fairly point out that she's had two more years' worth of treats than he has, so technically he's the one who actually deserves more.

YANBU and your DSIS sounds really childish. You could tell her actually you did spend the same amount of money on raffle tickets for her, but hers didn't win either. Obviously it wasn't you who gave/bought DB the bear.

However, I would probably just go with the eye rolling and the "Don't be so ridiculous" for now. Teenagers can be horrid.

Thank you for replying

AllPizzasGreatandSmall I don't know why exactly she decided to give him the bear or why no-one won him as I didn't really ask. I assumed either the ticket wasn't drawn for some reason or the person who won didn't want the bear.

I agree with what lots of you are saying and maybe I should talk to my dad about treating them fairly rather than equally.
To be honest I do tend to think of my relationship with them as slightly different because whilst of course I love them both. I grew up with my DSIS as more like my best friend whereas my DB feels more like a little brother in maybe a more motherly type of way.

It's probably fair to say that my DSIS was babyied a bit after my mum died which maybe be part of the problem.

Your dsis is being ridiculous. I think I'd explain to your dad. Ffs, your db is 8, I can't believe she wants another present!

I just hope that your brother hasn't heard all of this and it doesn't take the shine off his bear

Your dad should be proud of you for doing this, proud of your brother for being given the bear by a stranger because of his behaviour, and disgusted with your sister throwing a tantrum at 17 because she didn't get a second hand bear