AIBU for going to company event overnight?

[Kriii]

Dad here.

Just like last year, this January my company is holding an overnight team-building event (Sunday/Monday). On the one hand, it's fun, and on the other, the second day is mainly scheduled for actual work-related stuff.

My DW is furious at the thought of me leaving her to take care of our (at that date) 7 months old DD for the night.

While I completely understand her position, there are some things that should be taken into consideration:

1. We moved near her parents, at a great cost/ongoing effort on my behalf (instead of a 15-minute walk to the office, I now have a 1:30 hours commute each way), so they can help take care of DD (and they are perfectly happy to).

1. I work from home most days, and literally only need to be at the office once or twice a week. Granted, sometimes I work long hours, but I always try to find time to help with things.

1. I've gotten myself out of every trip this year already; was supposed to spend a week in the USA, but weaseled out of it (which I feel terrible about, as it cost us business).

1. In her defense, I don't have a corporate ladder to climb, or have to worry about impressing anyone to keep/upgrade my position. However, I feel I can only take advantage of my position so much before it becomes a problem for me.

So am I being unreasonable for wanting to go?

No way - dh went away from dd and I when she was 6 days old and does 1 longbhaul trip per month. You should definitely go if you want.

She is being wholly unreasonable.

You ought to be going to these things.

Go.

Why is she furious? Does she feel she can't cope?

Is there any reason for her needing you to not go away? PND? Additional medical needs?

No work is work and sometimes you have to go away. My OH has a yearly event in Germany. This year it will be the fifth time and the first was when DS was 3 months and Dd 3. Recently it's become 2 nights. What can you do, not going is frowned upon. Work trips are something you have to accept as non negotiable and need to be done

Why is she angry and who is she angry at. For a lot of people work trips are just part of the job.

YANBU work is work.

I can understand her wanting you to stay but I don't feel it is unreasonable to go, especially if her parents are available to help. Could you check first before confirming the event?

YANBU
You need to attend some of these events in a working environment.

Is it panic? If so, can she stay with her parents for the night.

DH travelled when DS was two weeks old, parents travelled to me to stay for two weeks until his return. Since then I have done a month on my own when DS was 6 months. I was terrified and dreaded it as the departure date drew near, is your DW worried she can't cope/you'll be drinking (having fun whilst she feels trapped)?
As it's work, explain it's what helps pay the bills, enlist the help of ILs and get home ASAP.

on the basis of your post (so no health issues or PND) she's being unreasonable.

Go, DH first went away when DS1 was 4 weeks.

Can she go and stay with her parents for the night if she doesn't want to be away?

YANBU. She sounds nervous. How is she coping?

It's one night? What does she think will happen that she won't cope with?

Go. My DH went away for a week when my DTs were 2 weeks old and has regularly been away in the years since then. Sounds like she is extremely lucky in having you around so much.

No, you are not unreasonable at all. I was a little nervous when DH went on an overnight team building work event when our first baby was only 4 weeks old, but obviously it was totally fine and I wouldn't have dreamed of stopping him going and having some fun.
And in return he totally supports me in the same way, e.g. This year I have been to Berlin and Barcelona for work trips and he hasn't batted an eyelid about being left at home with our now two children.
You need to be able to do these things and give each other little breaks away from the children or resentment will just build up about being stuck at home all the time.

Not unreasonable at all to go.

You need to go. One night is nothing. could she stay with her parents or have them come to you for the night?

Christ one night ??? Tbh, not sure I would have even noticed if DH had gone. He worked away quite a bit when DC were v young. I just got on with it. Without any help

I dont t think you are being unreasonable at all.

If she can't manage one night without you, maybe she can't cope. Have you discussed this with her yet?

@VeryBitchyRestingFace It's not exactly been easy for us taking care of DD thus far, and as much as I think she's doing a wonderful job at it, she always finds faults. Regardless, it will not be as easy without me (at least I assume that much).

@NapQueen No specific special needs, but suffice to say I've gained a whole new respect for single parents these past few months.

@OhHolyJesus I think that may be more correct than I'd like to admit. She's probably upset at the thought of me having fun (though I'm not much of a drinker), while she has to take care of the baby around the clock. I'd be lying if I said I can't understand that logic.

Thanks for your opinions so far, everyone. I think I'll try and see how I can calm things down at home, rather than skip on the event.

YANBU, You should definitely go.

My DH works away and had to leave when our DD was 3 weeks old for a month. He's also going to miss her first Christmas. I don't get angry with him because it's work, it allows us to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table.

I think one work trip away in 7 months is pretty good compared to a lot of people. Particularly when you factor in the work from home time.

Go, it's work. You need to work too earn a salary.

You need to ask yourself why she controls so much of your life. Making you have that commute is ridiculous, it's one child not one hundred.