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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Was I unreasonable? Road rage issue

97 replies

Eliza22 · 08/12/2016 09:01

Ok. So I was on a road where traffic was parted down one side of the road. Not my side. I had to stop as oncoming cars were coming through. Maybe 5 or so cars came through and I then moved forward on "my" clear side. I saw a van coming down so, reversed again slightly and let him through. I moved forward again. A car came at some speed down the road as if to say "I'm coming through too". I just carried on as frankly, I could have sat there all day and had to get moving. The young woman in the car sped up to my bumper with inches to spare and started grinding and "shooing" me with her arms to reverse. I shook my head. She could have pulled in at several places on her side, despite the parked vehicles so, I just sat there. A queue formed either side of us. People bibbing and getting cross. So, I got out and said I'm not reversing again. People started verbally attacking me. There were two men by the grass verge who stepping in to defend me, having seen what had happened and the woman's zooming up on my side of the road in a "You can sit and wait for me as well" manner.

Was I unreasonable? Should I have reversed a second time?

OP posts:

Doughnutsmademefat · 08/12/2016 10:11

People are so weird aren't they? And rude.

MargaretCavendish · 08/12/2016 10:18

So you must have been right in the middle of the road, for her to be able to pass on your passenger side, even mounting the pavement? Do you think that that may have looked aggressive to her and onlookers? I'm not trying to make this all your fault - again, she sounds very much in the wrong - but I remain confused about the reaction you got.

Obsidian77 · 08/12/2016 10:26

If she was already driving through the obstructed section when you started to move forward then yes, YABU, even if "your" side if the road was clear. Although if she hasn't learnt to reverse yet she sounds like a hazard.
I hate roads like this and go out of my way to avoid them.

myfavouritecolourispurple · 08/12/2016 10:34

I find a big reason for chaos on the roads is the idea that you can just disappear. Whether it's trying to force your way past a parked car or pulling out of a side road in front of someone, or just walking along the pavement and forcing other people to get out of your way - some people are just arrogant but others are oblivious. They truly seem to think you can just disappear to make room for them.

And I disagree about the right of way/priority. If the obstruction is on your side, you stop. You don't sneak through because you see someone stopped for the car in front of you. You stop and wait at that point. If you have already got half way down when the car coming the other way appears that is different - you are already there and can't disappear. That is not the situation here.

The OP was in the right. And sometimes, childish or not, you do just need to stop and get a book out. I did it once but sadly the prattish van driver went up onto the pavement and got around me. Grrr.

And driving on the pavement is wrong anyway.

Evilstepmum01 · 08/12/2016 10:36

YANBU. She was a dick. We had similar last night. Coming home from Inverness and some blind old bat in a golf cut in front of us (left lane) then indicated to go right at a roundabout in the right lane and went straight on! She had the audacity to beep at us!! WTF?

Tis arseholes like this that pushed DH to buy a cheap but decent dashcam-you would not believe the idiocy we watch on playback!!
Seriously look at Amazon and ask Santa for a wee dashcam!

Hamiltoes · 08/12/2016 10:38

You shouldn't have reversed the first time tbh. If the obstruction is on the other side of the road you have right of way.

Not true! Depends which car was there first. This annoys me.

BreconBeBuggered · 08/12/2016 10:39

I've got a steep road like this near me, where the cars are parked on the down side. There are stretches of double yellow lines so that cars can pull in away from oncoming traffic, but there's a stand-off there nearly every time I walk past between drivers who think they have priority to drive all the way down, and the ones going up who want them to respect their 'right of way'. Often the same people, depending on the direction of travel. It's fun to watch, but personally I usually choose to drive a slightly longer way around.

SirChenjin · 08/12/2016 10:42

*You shouldn't have reversed the first time tbh. If the obstruction is on the other side of the road you have right of way.

Not true! Depends which car was there first. This annoys me*

That doesn't mean you can drive like a bat out of hell to get there 'first' and try and beat the car with no obstruction on their side who actually has right of way (despite what many drivers around here seem to think). What it means is - if you've already started moving past a line of parked cars then you can continue, but only if you've actually started the manoeuvre.

SirChenjin · 08/12/2016 10:43

OP - YWNBU at all.

Hamiltoes · 08/12/2016 10:48

sir totally agree, but judging by a lot of the responses here and my driving experiences on the roads there are a hell of a lot of drivers who don't know this!

The amount of people who try to force you off the road because they think they are right is worrying. Not saying thats what happened in OPs situation.

BusterGonad · 08/12/2016 10:50

Don't quote me but I'm led to believe people going down hill have priority as it's harder to stop going down hill than it is going up, they the person going down hill is more likely to not stop on time. Hill starts are a human issue which if you are driving you should have the ability to do.

BiddyPop · 08/12/2016 10:52

We have a situation locally where the causeway is wider than 1 car but not wide enough for 2. About 500 metres long.

The proper thing to do is, if the last car in front of you going your direction is more than 100 m on to the causeway, let that line go, let the traffic waiting on the far side come through, and then go yourself.

But the number of times that I am waiting, and the oncoming line is 10m from the end (closest to me - so I am about to go) but another car arrives at the far end and just KEEPS DRIVING!! Is insane.

Even worse, a number of those drivers will beep if you come against them (when you HAVE the right of way and were on the causeway before they arrived), often coming on even though there is a line driving against them. And then parking right in the yellow box at the end of the causeway, which blocks up the access to the pier and the access to the road behind leading to a big car park - because their precious little snowflakes need to come straight out of the sailing centre and into their car.

I really hate coming out of either sailing or another activity there, as I park (properly, in a paid space) on the pier but am often expected to drive over the drop (which would smash my axles) as the upper pier meets the lower pier - because they are parked across the entrance to the pier and then wait another up to 10 minutes to cross the causeway when there actually is not that much actual traffic coming against me, just very very inconsiderate driving.

We also have a few roads where there is a lot of parking on 1 side, and still you get situations like the OPs where people on that side insist on coming through and not stopping in the gaps along the stretch (there is 1 in particular which is another 400m or so stretch but there are plenty of gaps in parking due to gates of houses along the way).

SirChenjin · 08/12/2016 10:54

Oh I know Hamiltoes - you see them all the time, speeding up so that they can start their manoeuvre and claim 'priority'. I like to sit very close to the end parked car so they have to slow right down and squeeze through the gap - childish, but immensely satisfying

Breagha85 · 08/12/2016 10:59

Buster IAM says uphill has right of way due to loss of momentum making it harder for some vehicles to get going again.

We see this all the time in my village. It's in the north of Scotland and we get a lot of snow - if you stop while going uphill you will NOT get going again

BusterGonad · 08/12/2016 11:01

Thank you Bre, I'm pretty sure my driving instructor told me but I could be wrong and he could be wrong!! it wouldn't surprise me! Lol.

Breagha85 · 08/12/2016 11:03

The Highway Code:

Rule 155
Single-track roads. These are only wide enough for one vehicle. They may have special passing places. If you see a vehicle coming towards you, or the driver behind wants to overtake, pull into a passing place on your left, or wait opposite a passing place on your right. Give way to vehicles coming uphill whenever you can. If necessary, reverse until you reach a passing place to let the other vehicle pass. Slow down when passing pedestrians, cyclists and horse riders.

The road has been reduced to a single track by the parked cars.

GiddyOnZackHunt · 08/12/2016 11:09

I had one of these very close to my house. I had a clear lane but a car decided to pull out to overtake parked cars. Stalemate. Had I reversed, I'd have had to reverse partly out onto a busy road which was dangerous.
Two men in a car v me and a baby.
I eventually turned my engine off. Then I took out my mobile and held it up as if filming. It was dark and I couldn't actually film but they didn't know that. They decided to reverse at that point.
I did consider getting out and going to my friend's house about 20 metres away...

NinjaPosse · 08/12/2016 11:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RatherBeRiding · 08/12/2016 11:32

I drive a mahoosive 4x4 and frequently tow an equally mahoosive horse trailer - it's just amazing how oncoming traffic politely pulls into gaps on the obstructed side of the road to let me through! . Which is just as well as I have no intention of trying to mount the pavement or reverse to let dickheads through when it's my right of way!

NinjaPosse · 08/12/2016 11:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shggg245 · 08/12/2016 11:57

I've just experienced a similar situation, a very rude man point blank refused to reverse up a single track road leading to a large empty car park at the top. Expected me to reverse all the way down a steep bendy single track which blindly joins a very busy A road - what type of loon would blindly reverse into the junction of an A road?

Resulted in stalemate.... No way was I reversing blindly down hill so he continued to edge towards me, he then got angry and then did the worst reversing I've ever seen, which I think explains his initial reluctance.

I'm regularly in his position as I use this hill daily, I always give to way to car coming up the hill and will happily reverse if someone's coming up.

As I was incensed with his 'I've lived in this village for 40 years - I'm in the right attitude' I've checked. Rule 155 of the highway code says priority should be given to the vehicle travelling up hill and if necessary the vehicle going down should reverse back up. However, this applies to a single track.

So there Jag man - how'd d'ya like them apples?!

I think some people are reluctant to reverse, which is to do with lack of confidence / ability (my mother is one of these people.)

Gets worse - when I got out of the car after parking, (luckily he'd flounced off), I then slipped on leaves, fell over and hurt my leg and shoulder, plus I've got my new woollen coat covered in mud!

Forget it OP, relax and don't let agressive people upset you. She says....

TheHiphopopotamus · 08/12/2016 12:01

annianonimouse that sounds just like dd's school right down to the shouty man! He's reported and alternately been reported to the police many a time.

Katy07 · 08/12/2016 12:03

You had right of way. Unless she was already physically on her way through then she's in the wrong.

gettingbythistime · 08/12/2016 12:09

i'm on your side OP. 4x4/Audi/BMW per chance??

gettingbythistime · 08/12/2016 12:13

just read further up it wasn't. what a shock

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