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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was I unreasonable? Road rage issue

97 replies

Eliza22 · 08/12/2016 09:01

Ok. So I was on a road where traffic was parted down one side of the road. Not my side. I had to stop as oncoming cars were coming through. Maybe 5 or so cars came through and I then moved forward on "my" clear side. I saw a van coming down so, reversed again slightly and let him through. I moved forward again. A car came at some speed down the road as if to say "I'm coming through too". I just carried on as frankly, I could have sat there all day and had to get moving. The young woman in the car sped up to my bumper with inches to spare and started grinding and "shooing" me with her arms to reverse. I shook my head. She could have pulled in at several places on her side, despite the parked vehicles so, I just sat there. A queue formed either side of us. People bibbing and getting cross. So, I got out and said I'm not reversing again. People started verbally attacking me. There were two men by the grass verge who stepping in to defend me, having seen what had happened and the woman's zooming up on my side of the road in a "You can sit and wait for me as well" manner.

Was I unreasonable? Should I have reversed a second time?

OP posts:
RebeccatheOld · 08/12/2016 09:26

Good for you!!!!

I am never brave enough to do this, but it really hacks me off when people push through. Just be patient!

Original poster
Eliza22 · 08/12/2016 09:26

She WAS blonde and the car was a greeny-blue Smile

I guess the decider for me was when I said to her "I'm not reversing again, you could have pulled in at any number of places. You must go back, as it's your side of the road that's obstructed" and she said "I don't know how to reverse. I haven't learnt that bit yet!"

I then returned to my car and turned off the engine.

OP posts:
Original poster
Eliza22 · 08/12/2016 09:29

[Trinity] no. It was a flat road. I mean she was coming down toward me. She saw me driving "up" my clear side of the road, drove past the bus stop area and as I say, right up to my bumper, nose to nose, as it were.

OP posts:
WouldHave · 08/12/2016 09:29

I'm not quite getting this. Was it a situation where there was a stretch of road that was too narrow for two cars, and you were holding back to let people coming the other way get through through? And you then moved into that stretch of road but couldn't go further because of the cars in front of you? If so, why did you drive forward if you couldn't progress anyway?

NavyandWhite · 08/12/2016 09:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 08/12/2016 09:31

This has happened to me a few times. I live on a road with a school and the majority at school run seem to think they have Ultimate Right of Way. I'll just wave my keys at them and pick up my phone until they sort their life out and shift. Luckily I'm never in a hurry, I have a very flexible workplace!

Olympiathequeen · 08/12/2016 09:33

Yanbu. Some people really take the piss.

Original poster
Eliza22 · 08/12/2016 09:33

Wouldhave, sorry, didn't explain it that well. No, HER side of a normal width road had cars parked intermittently outside houses. My side was clear. I'd hung back to let several cars through. Then moved forward....then reversed to let the van through as he was quite large and it was easier to just let him through. Then, I moved forward again on my clear side of the road and that's when she came down, not stopping.

Clear as mud Grin?

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 08/12/2016 09:33

By the sounds of it the OP had already started to progress so was already past the first parked car and the other person took no notice and carried on regardless. OP had right of way

WouldHave · 08/12/2016 09:34

Ah, got it, thanks, OP. So it was the fact that she was there that was stopping you moving forwards? YANBU.

Nanny0gg · 08/12/2016 09:35

She hasn't learned how to reverse yet??

She's a danger on the roads!!

akkakk · 08/12/2016 09:35

just for clarity - there is no such thing as right of way on our roads :)
there is 'priority' which would by default be with the driver on the clear side, however as soon as a driver starts to go past the parked cars (assuming the road is clear) they gain priority and yes, cars coming the other way have to wait...

so it all depends - had you started up your section of road before she moved out past the parked cars - if so, you have priority, she is wrong...

if not (and it matters not if you have been sitting there for 3 weeks!) if she was already past the parked cars and that section of road was still clear for her (because of other cars doing the same) then she had priority...

a belief in having a right of way is the root of many issues on our roads Grin

Pidlan · 08/12/2016 09:38

She's a shit driver but she probably saw you had stopped and probably thought you were going to let her through. It was a misjudgment on her part but I wouldn't have done what you did.

MargaretCavendish · 08/12/2016 09:39

She sounds awful and dangerous, but I'm still struggling to understand the situation. When you begun to move forward had she yet reached the cars, ie was she already on your side of the road? Also, how can she have mounted the pavement if the cars were on her side?

Original poster
Eliza22 · 08/12/2016 09:39

Yes, I was moving forward for the second attempt to move along the road and she pulled out and came toward me.

Good grief, d'you think it was this hard before cars when we drove horses and carts?

It was very stressful, joking aside. My husband would have sat there all week. He's an advanced driver and is very keen on road etiquette/rules.

OP posts:
Original poster
Eliza22 · 08/12/2016 09:42

Margaret she mounted the pavement on my side (passing my passenger side) as my side was clear. And no, I moved forward about 3 cars length and she then pulled out. I was moving along an unobstructed side of the road with a clear run, until she appeared.

OP posts:
baconandeggies · 08/12/2016 09:44

Hasn't learn to reverse yet?! Game, set, match.

Side note - who has priority if cars are going steeply up hill but the obstruction (parked cars) is on their side? Causes havoc in our village.

DeleteOrDecay · 08/12/2016 09:46

YANBU, you had right of way and if she hasn't learnt to reverse 'yet' then she shouldn't be driving.

Wookiecookies · 08/12/2016 09:49

If she hasnt learned to reverse yet, I find it hard to believe that she is legally in posession of a valid driving licence. Me thinks she needs reporting to the DVLA/police.

Breagha85 · 08/12/2016 09:53

Bacon I was always taught to give uphill traffic priority regardless of whose side the obstruction is on as a hill start is harder than taking a foot off the brake. Sadly not everyone seems to think the same.

My village is on a very steep hill, with buses using the main road - I would not want to do a hill start in one of those!

StrictlyPan · 08/12/2016 09:56

There are few sights more pathetic and depressing (for hope for the future of the planet) than two car drivers in a 'stand off'. Grow up.

Dunkling · 08/12/2016 09:59

It's not as simple as

"You shouldn't have reversed the first time tbh. If the obstruction is on the other side of the road you have right of way.

If traffic is already overtaking the obstruction when you arrive, THEY have right of way as they are already performing the manoeuvre.

If they can see you waiting or arriving, then they should stop.

But if their vision to the end of the obstruction is blocked, you have a stalemate really...... just consideration and patience comes into play.

Serialweightwatcher · 08/12/2016 10:06

You were in the right - if your side was clear it's your right of way and she is just a rude, impatient witch! Good for you for standing your ground when everyone was having a go at you - some people just have no manners!

Doughnutsmademefat · 08/12/2016 10:08

Agree Dunkling , if you are already coming past the obstruction, you have right of way.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 08/12/2016 10:09

'The Stand Off'

Occurs pretty much every night outside school. Sometimes it's quite fascinating live entertainment. Such a concentration of the 'hard of thinking'. Not to mention the fact that I'm sure at least half of them must be driving on converted drivers licenses because I'm sure they wouldn't pass a test here. One of them parks so far from the kerb she just about needs a taxi 😖😂

The other bit of entertainment is 'Man Third House In'. He's crackers. If anyone stops outside his house he's out there checking they're not ver the white line, even by a mm. He SHOUTS. A lot. One night I pulled in there to let a car pass, I was at an angle, car running, other car passing me and he was banging on my window, shouted at me not to park there like that. We had a real row! Muppet.

He must organise his whole day around being home at pick up time 😁. He's often in his cycling gear & goes out once the bulk of cars have gone. And no, no reason for him to be so anal that I've seen in almost 4 years.

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