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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To expect the money for these tickets before the gig?

23 replies

Ilikedampcake · 08/12/2016 00:41

I bought gig tickets for my DD and 4 of her friends back in June.
Over the last 6 months the group has evolved from just my DD and 3 friends going to DD's 4 friends, me and a dad of one of the friends going too. I've had payment from one friend, but not from the two who were originally coming with us.

Today one of the original members of the booking tried to claim he had already paid for his ticket, this is simply not true and I was very upset that he had tried to get out of paying in this way. After much messaging with my DD he agreed to pay after Christmas as did the other friend who did agree that he still owed me the money. I wasn't happy with this because I really didn't trust either of them to pay up after the event. The one disputing payment then backtracked again and still insisted he had paid.

This has caused a massive argument between us all and because I don't want to ruin the night for the others who are going I've now decided to bail, give up the tickets and let them get on with it. Obviously they can never darken my door again!

So I know I'm a complete pushover and therefore totally unreasonable but please tell me that this isn't what teens do and I'm not just being a cow? I've stupidly been really upset about it.

OP posts:

WatchingFromTheWings · 08/12/2016 00:47

Tell them you want the money by a certain date or the tickets will be on eBay the following day. Just make sure you give plenty of time between deadline and the event. If you do it again, I'd get the money in full before booking.

Original poster

Ilikedampcake · 08/12/2016 01:00

Sorry forgot to mention the gig is on Monday so too late to sell on. It's a pretty small gig as well and not sold out. And to my shame I have already bought further tickets for another gig in Jan, their ones will be going on Get me in though.

OP posts:

QueenLizIII · 08/12/2016 01:24

You bought the original tickets in June, only one has paid.

You allowed the event to expand and bought more tickets for more people without the original batch having paid up? Why?

I guess you've learned your lesson.

previously1474907171 · 08/12/2016 01:26

As you may be losing out anyway I would insist on the money before you go. Otherwise take the tickets with you and sell them at the venue. If they can't go it will teach them a lesson.

IHateDailyMailJournos · 08/12/2016 01:35

Oh dear that's really annoying. I'm not sure why you would think for one second that you had been a cow. You were way too trusting but not a cow.

I'd keep asking them. How old are they? Are you sure you DD didn't say you would pay or something daft like that.

musicposy · 08/12/2016 01:49

Have you physically given them the tickets yet? If not, I'd refuse unless I get the money, even if that means I'm sat on bits of paper which just end up being shredded. If they don't pay up, they don't get to go.

OlennasWimple · 08/12/2016 01:55

In the nicest possible way, are you absolutely sure that they didn't pay back in June? Maybe a cheque that you didn't get round to banking, or (as happens to me) cash that went into your purse and got spent on everyday stuff not the credit card?

Butterymuffin · 08/12/2016 02:00

What proof has this bloke got that he paid? Ask him to produce that. Bet he can't.

I agree with musicposy - if you're not getting any money anyway, don't hand anything over. No money, no tickets. You could always offer them to other people you know for a nominal fee, and at least then you wouldn't be getting nothing. But this lot don't deserve them, and particularly not if they've lied about payment.

Ahickiefromkinickie · 08/12/2016 07:22

Who is arguing you? Are DD and DH on your side?

Please don't be a pushover, insist that they pay before handing over the ticket. It's YOUR money.

In fact, your DD should get the money from her friends. How old is she?

QueenLizIII · 08/12/2016 11:22

It is so horribly rude. I feel for you OP.

I have a friend that does this. I pay in advance as she is useless at organising things. Then she doesnt pay me back even after we have been and gone. I once finally had to say to her: pay me NOW.

I would never do that to anyone. It is a tough one. If they go then you can charge them and keep reminding them, tell DDs friends parents to pay up.

But if you rip the tickets up and dont allow them to go if they dont pay first, you cant charge them at all. I dont know what Id do. Id be inclined to let them go as I could still demand the money but I would never ever do it again.

lurkinghusband · 08/12/2016 11:25

But if you rip the tickets up and dont allow them to go if they dont pay first, you cant charge them at all.

Depending on what was said when the even was arranged, you could ..

QueenLizIII · 08/12/2016 11:34

True lurking...but it would be harder to prove and justify.

all the I wouldve paid you that night blah blah.

if they actually go and haven't paid for the tickets, they have NO reason or excuse not to pay and seeing as the money has already been spent and it will give the OP more chance of getting her money back, they may as well go.

LagunaBubbles · 08/12/2016 11:40

I dont understand how one of them is insisting he has paid when you say he hasnt though?

hellsbellsmelons · 08/12/2016 11:47

I would tell them all you are selling the tickets unless you get payment this weekend and that the whole event will be off.
I sincerely hope you haven't already given them the tickets.
Get the other event tickets sold ASAP.
They are knobs, with bells on.
I wouldn't be letting any of them go!
Sorry - it would be totally cancelled.
I would go with my DD on our own.

Original poster

Ilikedampcake · 10/12/2016 00:42

Hi thanks for all your replies, I'll try and respond to you all as best as I can.

I didn't expand on the event without everyone paying up, the other two coming are a father and son. Dad bought his own ticket and paid for his sons as soon as it was confirmed he was coming so I'm down for the cost of the 2 of the original tickets.

I haven't really spoken to them directly about the cost left that to my DD, I'm awful when it comes to stuff like this, was brought up never to discuss money so have an awful hang up about asking for what I'm owed.

They are all 17/18 well the one refusing to pay is 18, insisted he paid out of his bday money, he didn't, I've barely seen him lately, he tends to latch on to people who he can scrounge off and as I've become a bit more wise to his ways he seems to have moved onto the next mug thankfully!

And as for my DD, well she's not at the minute (no DH or DP), she was with her dad when this kicked off and totally took her friends side. I think that's what upset me most at the time.

I will be going on Monday though, and handing the tickets over with good grace, hopefully my presence will make them squirm a bit.

OP posts:

VimFuego101 · 10/12/2016 00:45

Don't give anyone the tickets unless they pay... You have no leverage after the event!

MyKidsHaveTakenMySanity · 10/12/2016 00:52

Put the tickets up on your local Facebook selling pages. See if you can sell them for what you paid You have a full weekend to find a buyer. 6 months is more than long enough to have waited to be paid!!!

GiddyOnZackHunt · 10/12/2016 00:56

Is there any chance he paid your dd but it didn't get to you?
This sounds awfully complicated!

MyKidsHaveTakenMySanity · 10/12/2016 00:59

Just to add to my post, when posting the tickets, tag the non-payers. They, like everyone else, will have a chance to buy them. Just like they should have bloody done 6 fucking months ago

Original poster

Ilikedampcake · 10/12/2016 01:02

I know I don't have any leverage after the event, tbh this money is already lost to me, fool that I am.
I suppose in a way I feel bad for the people who have bought their tickets on the basis of these two coming along, they are all friends and although I would love to be tougher I just can't do it.
Trust me no one will want these tickets on FB!

OP posts:

MyKidsHaveTakenMySanity · 16/12/2016 09:59

So did they pay you at the event? Or since?

dowhatnow · 16/12/2016 10:35

I'm wondering if dd got the money too.

What happened in the end op?

Original poster

Ilikedampcake · 28/01/2017 00:38

Sorry it's been ages but Yes they did pay eventually. We did have a good night at the gig and I'm glad I went. I successfully sold the other two tickets for the gig we went to last weekend so all good, and they truly missed a phenomenal night. Thanks for all your replies, I have totally learnt my lesson. No money, no ticket!

OP posts:

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