..to be upset that DP shares custody of his teddy bear with his ex?

[BearProblems]

DP and I have been together 2 and a half years. We live together and have a DC. A few months before we got together, DP had split with his ex, who he'd been with for over a decade. Their split was amicable but they've hardly had any contact since. She seems to be a perfectly nice person. They have no DCs.

When DP moved in, over a year ago, his ex came to my house to collect Bear who was going "on holiday" with her. DP hadn't warned me this was happening, and I was just expecting her to drop some of DP's stuff off. DP did the handing over but it was all unbearably awkward. DP hadn't told her that he was moving in with me (we have known each other vaguely for years) so she couldn't have been expecting the new girlfriend to be a witness to this nonsense. He didn't tell her because he was hardly in touch with her and was (like a total coward) hoping someone else would tell her so he wouldn't have to. Anyway, I thought that was the end of it and she would be too embarrassed to ask for Bear again.

Today DP and I went out for a nice lunch together and, over the pudding, he mentioned, very awkwardly, that he was going out this evening... taking Bear, who is off on his Christmas holidays. He will drop Bear off with ex before meeting friends to play darts. He'll be gone a couple of hours in all.

I am 100% certain there is nothing going on with DP and his ex (or anyone else for that matter) but this has made me feel incredibly weird and uncomfortable and actually a bit insecure.

He made this arrangement with his ex and didn't tell me until a few hours before the arranged drop off. I know full well the reason he didn't tell me was because he was embarrassed about it (and rightly so!) but still, it seems disloyal to arrange things with an ex and not tell me.

And then there's the fact that it's so fucking weird! I can see, when she asked if she could have Bear for Christmas, he felt he couldn't object without seeming mean and petty or making me out to be some suspicious psycho (he knows I wasn't totally happy about the last time). He's a bit of a coward who hates conflict but also a kind man who doesn't want to hurt anyone unnecessarily.

I don't know what bothers me about it so much. I had been planning to get Bear a Christmas stocking - lucky I'm not sufficiently organised to have done anything about it yet. (I think this sort of stupid infantilism about DP's bear is fine within the confines of a romantic relationship but outside of one, it's just a bit creepy).

Sorry this is so long. It's so bloody ludicrous it was hardly worth writing let alone reading!

He got it when he was 18, from another ex.

That just makes it even weirder. How could anyone possibly develop this sort of attachment to something an ex gave your partner?

I suggest you offer to take it and accidentally drop it into a dustcart on the way, or have a sad accident involving matches. Or fit it with a voice that tells the ex to fuck off because it hates her. Or tell your DP that you have conceived an all-consuming passion for it and cannot let it out of your sight, therefore neither he nor his ex can have it.

Can we have a photo of the bear please OP?

Photo and a name. Bear must have a name.

Sometimes there are just no words.

I like threads like this as they make me feel fairly normal.

Maybe he needs to go to build a bear and buy her a new fucking bear. With a voice. And a smell.

I actually know someone who also does this with their ex. Including the voice and personality of the bear. To the point they get a sore throat doing the bear's 'voice'. The bear was even at my wedding, along with their bear girlfriend. We even took a photo of them together holding hands (yes the bears).

wtaf
Wisdom of Solomon (or whoever the fuck it was) needed here
Say to these two giant children ok bear is getting cut in half and you can get half each you strange fuckers
The one who agrees that the other can have bear to save bear getting cut in half is the one who "wins" bear
Again wtaf

Is the bear very valuable? (in monetary terms I mean) if the answer is no I think this bear needs to go on a one way trip somewhere, left on a train or outside a charity shop in another town that sort of thing.

It would be sad but........

Is his name Simon Smith? Does the bear dance?

Could your DH say that your child has grown very attached to the bear and won't sleep without it, he can then get out of this situation with the bear and not hurting anyone's feelings??

.

Oh my f**king lord.

3 idiots in one village.

Plus a stuffed bear with a GSOH.

The weirdest thing is that Op had kids with someone who bearshares.

😂😂

thanks , I really needed a good laugh and this just did it.

The thing that's boggling my brain is the ex, she wants to borrow an exes bear?

Does she have mental health difficulties or a learning difficulty i wonder?

I am other a sodding sock puppet!

I am being very serious. I know two people in this situation. They share custody of a bear called Samuel. The female in the relationship lost both her children and treats the bear like a child.

The bears name is Samuel and she shares custody of the bear with her ex.

Does the bear have a Facebook page we could all look at? He'll get loads of friend requests.

It's the bear I feel sorry for. Poor thing doesn't know if it's coming or going.

I wanna see pics or I refuse to believe it. I want daily mail sad faces, diagrams, passport for its holiday to Maui...

Not a* sock puppet not other.

Are you married to Mr Bean?

" I didn't expect everyone to find this so fascinating!"
Oh, fascinating is not the word m'dear. Weird, I think, is the word you were reaching for.

this is some slick Ad Agency plot testing next year's JL ad isn't it?

surely to god it's not really real?? ...and failing that boil wash teh stuffing out of the shared bear and give the remains a decent burial

...you are totes craycray to indulge this utter nonsense. Seriously.

That's different Cutting. Presumably the op would mention such devastating circumstances?