DP and I have been together 2 and a half years. We live together and have a DC. A few months before we got together, DP had split with his ex, who he'd been with for over a decade. Their split was amicable but they've hardly had any contact since. She seems to be a perfectly nice person. They have no DCs.
When DP moved in, over a year ago, his ex came to my house to collect Bear who was going "on holiday" with her. DP hadn't warned me this was happening, and I was just expecting her to drop some of DP's stuff off. DP did the handing over but it was all unbearably awkward. DP hadn't told her that he was moving in with me (we have known each other vaguely for years) so she couldn't have been expecting the new girlfriend to be a witness to this nonsense. He didn't tell her because he was hardly in touch with her and was (like a total coward) hoping someone else would tell her so he wouldn't have to. Anyway, I thought that was the end of it and she would be too embarrassed to ask for Bear again.
Today DP and I went out for a nice lunch together and, over the pudding, he mentioned, very awkwardly, that he was going out this evening... taking Bear, who is off on his Christmas holidays. He will drop Bear off with ex before meeting friends to play darts. He'll be gone a couple of hours in all.
I am 100% certain there is nothing going on with DP and his ex (or anyone else for that matter) but this has made me feel incredibly weird and uncomfortable and actually a bit insecure.
He made this arrangement with his ex and didn't tell me until a few hours before the arranged drop off. I know full well the reason he didn't tell me was because he was embarrassed about it (and rightly so!) but still, it seems disloyal to arrange things with an ex and not tell me.
And then there's the fact that it's so fucking weird! I can see, when she asked if she could have Bear for Christmas, he felt he couldn't object without seeming mean and petty or making me out to be some suspicious psycho (he knows I wasn't totally happy about the last time). He's a bit of a coward who hates conflict but also a kind man who doesn't want to hurt anyone unnecessarily.
I don't know what bothers me about it so much. I had been planning to get Bear a Christmas stocking - lucky I'm not sufficiently organised to have done anything about it yet. (I think this sort of stupid infantilism about DP's bear is fine within the confines of a romantic relationship but outside of one, it's just a bit creepy).
Sorry this is so long. It's so bloody ludicrous it was hardly worth writing let alone reading!
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AIBU?
..to be upset that DP shares custody of his teddy bear with his ex?
BearProblems · 07/12/2016 17:12
You say she has custody when she goes on holiday? 
Is teddy a drugs mule?
I read this thread from the start and lol'd as there are so many similarities to our 'critters' (my sons stuffed animals/toys that he has been adding to since he was 2.
His first was 'Teddy', a bedtime bear from Mothercare, later Teddy got a wife, Mrs Teddy (pink bedtime bear from same Mothercare), we have others but we also have a Kevin (but he is an elephant and have never yet gone walkabout). They all have 'voices' that I do and we also do them stockings..... damn myself that I started that, takes frigging ages now.
I actually thought I had walked into a parallel universe with this thread 
.
No ducks in the fridge mind
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Great thread OP 
I can't decide which is funnier, you... Bear's lawyer is a stuffed owl, so it may be a while before the case comes to court. ...or the po-faced posts that occur right up to the end from people who are determined not to see the funny side.
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