AIBU to wonder why it's always a woman's job...

[Sunonagreyday]

To write the Christmas cards. Just received ours from my DDad, a 'to my daughter at Christmas' card, except it doesn't really feel from him, since it's written by his OH. They have been together some time and she is lovely but we don't really know each other since I was pretty much an adult already when they met. I just feel it loses some of the sentiment...it's like we are now deemed her responsibility and she also selects any birthday and Christmas presents, it feels weird to me, like my dad can't really be bothered, I mean how long does it take to write on the card. AIBU?

I think this is the thing that pisses me off about 'wifework' as it is so often tossed about on Mumsnet, A lot of it seems to be doing totally unnecessary shit and then being a martyr about it and calling it 'wifework'

I think you might have misunderstood here, what. Have you read the book? By saying 'wifework' I definitely do NOT mean that this is something one should do because they're the woman/wife. Wifework is all household labor, emotional caretaking, spousal ego-boosting etc that the society generally expects women to do, and yes of course a lot of it is totally unneccesary shit.

I don't send cards. DH said to me earlier that we need to send cards to his mum and extended family. I politely reminded him I dont write Christmas cards. I have found him the old odd box of random cards from the loft. He can knock himself out now.

I only write our cards, simply because my DHS hand writing is truly terrible. They'd spend half the day working out which present belongs to who and same with the cards. So he does the wrapping I do the writing

We used to split it (DH did his family, I did mine) then a couple of years ago DH announced that Xmas cards were a waste of time and he wasn't going to do it any more, what with social media, etc.

I was a bit and wondered if ILs would think bad of me because of this, even though I'd not done them in the past. See, "wife work" having an influence.

The sky didn't fall in and this year I won't be doing any either.

Yeah, gotta admit I do them but DH does pull his weight generally so I don't feel like I'm "down" in terms of overall leisure time- we both work. It just so happens that this falls into my 50%.

We do our own family/friends cards but sign it from both of us. DH is currently writing cards for the neighbours so I suppose he writes more than me.

Hardshoulder it may look that way, but I honestly like my in-laws enough that I'd get them a present from myself anyway. My MIL did all baby night-duty for weeks once DH went back to work and I was ill (as did my DM for other weeks, in case she reads this and feels neglected)! She's also going to be doing a lot of babysitting over xmas and all the cooking. She's a saint.

DH does many other things, like all night time childcare and most of the school run. He more than pulls his weight.