AIBU not wanting my toddler to sleep with step Grandad?

[Badgoushk]

So we see my MIL and her husband (my daughters' step Grandad) a few times a year but not often at their house. They live 2 hours away but I have a just-turned-3-year- old DD and a 1-year-old DD so, kindly, they usually come to us. Understandably, their place isn't particularly child friendly and there are a lot of low lying glass and china ornaments that remain on display during our visits.

So, we visited them this weekend for the first time in months, if not years. MIL had been saying to DH that she wanted DD1 to sleep in her bed with her and her husband. DH said no it's alright we'll bring a travel cot. They have 3 bedrooms and DH and I slept in one with our baby in our bed (we cosleep) and our DD1 in the travel cot in the same room. DD1 is still in a toddler cotbed with high sides at home.

MIL wasn't happy with this arrangement. She wanted DD1 in with her (she's late 60s, husband is about 80). We said no but MIL likes to do what she likes to do.

So the evening comes around and MIL wants to bathe the girls (fine). Then read stories to DD1 in her bedroom (fine). Then plan was for DH to put DD1 to sleep in the travel cot. MIL was taking AGES so in the end DH went up to hurry her along and found MIL and DD1 under the covers together, almost asleep.

Anyway, I know this is going to come up again during the next visit as DD1 is getting too big for the travel cot.

DH wants a quiet life but he's lost trust in his Mum (there is a lot of back story) when she blatantly disregards what he/I want.

MIL wants DD1 to sleep in her double bed with her and 80 year old step Grandad. I do not. I think it's a bit weird. AIBU?

YANBU. You have said no. I don't understand why she would go against your wishes. It will only get your back up all the more.

Stick to your guns. If she goes against your wishes, don't visit as she can't be trusted. Cheeky mare.

I don't think it's odd that she wants to co-sleep with her granddaughter, but I do think it is unacceptable that she refused to do as you asked. It is your decision and you said no, at which point she should have just dropped it.

well i used to get into bed with my grandma and[step]grandad in the morning if we very occasionally slept over when i was little but i never slept with them my kids have got into bed at my parents house with my parents in the morning but again they would never sleep with them.

I think it's quite sweet she wants your DD in her bed and it sounds like your DD is very comfortable with her grandma as she was almost asleep there.

However, MIL should respect your boundaries. And a double bed is too small for two adults and a child.

DGD will fall asleep on me but I'm her maternal grandma

To the poster who says this; you know that being a maternal grandma doesn't give you more rights or make you more of a grandma, don't you?

Pottering I can see how saying I am DGDs maternal grandma came across that way but it wasn't meant that way. I get on really well with DGDs other grandma and we see each other socially. We have a lot in common, esp our love for DGD :)

I don't know, on the one hand I dont see anything weird about her wanting to share with dd. and as you make it clear it's the fact he's not blood related to her that you have issues with which is pretty weird/unreasonable of you in my opinion. However, I also find it odd that she wont just take no for an answer.