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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think I should be able to have my cats back?

96 replies

harveyyspecter · 05/12/2016 07:38

I posted the other day about having to rehome my cats as my new let doesn't allow pets.

I've been absolutely heartbroken since they went and I've contacted the landlord and pretty much begged her to let me keep the cats and she's said yes.

The cats are at a foster home being looked after by a woman who works for the rescue I got them from. I've asked for them back and they said no

I'm devastated. What do I do?

OP posts:

SukeyTakeItOffAgain · 05/12/2016 11:56

I'm really sorry OP. What a horrible situation to be in. Finding somewhere to rent with a much loved pet is so stressful. People who are homeowners have no idea. I can quite understand the desperation to find somewhere for you and your daughter.

KittensKidsAndKisses · 05/12/2016 12:00

I actually think you shouldn't have them back as it doesn't sound like you tried hard enough to keep them in the first place.

I rent at the moment and we had very little choice on where we could live because we have cats.

You didn't find somewhere that could have cats. You didn't ask the LL at the time before putting the cats into a rescue.

Sorry it's not very sympathetic but that's my opinion. I hope the cats find a forever home quickly.

NoSquirrels · 05/12/2016 12:03

They are only young cats, and they can settle down somewhere with someone else. I'm really sorry, OP, but I think I would probably be with the rescue on this occasion - they have been rehomed twice already in their short lives and you have shown that your living situation was unstable enough to have to give them up once, so it could happen again. I know you really won't intend to be moving again for ages, but what if it did happen - you'd have to put your daughter first (as is right) and so the cats could be uprooted again.

I know it must be heartbreaking. We rented for years too and always had to find someone/somewhere cat-friendly - it is hard. But we didn't have to consider DC at that point, so was easier to do.

You made the decision you had to - it's a real shame the agent misled you but it's done now. If the rescue feel it's in the best interests of the cats to stay with them then I think you might need to accept it and move on.

Trifleorbust · 05/12/2016 12:06

No, most people don't have utterly secure lifestyles that never have to change, but that is not the shelter's problem. The cats are their problem.

What do you mean by 'bitchy' towards you?

Pineappletastic · 05/12/2016 12:26

In one post you say you won't be moving again for a long time, and then in another you say you didn't know you would have to move, and ask if other people have stable lives like it's a mystery.

I firmly believe that pet ownership is a privilege not a right, getting pets you aren't sure you will be able to look after in a year or five is wrong imo.

I didn't get a cat until I knew I was in the last house I would ever rent before I bought.

Obviously shit happens to the best of us, but you must see that someone who just surrendered animals isn't seen as a good potential adopter?

SuburbanRhonda · 05/12/2016 12:36

I'd sneakily get someone I know to adopt them, it takes a while for adult cats to get rehomed. Then you can take them back

Please don't do this. Not only is it deceitful, you'd be putting your own needs above those of the cats, and you'd be undermining the work of the charity in its efforts to ensure rescue cats end up in the right home.

Original poster

harveyyspecter · 05/12/2016 16:24

It looks like I'm not getting them back. I'm truly devastated.

I won't be taking any legal action or asking a friend to adopt them.

OP posts:

shovetheholly · 05/12/2016 16:29

I'm so very sorry harvey

SukeyTakeItOffAgain · 05/12/2016 17:03

You poor thing. I'm so sorry :(

I really feel for you

Therealbumshady · 05/12/2016 18:03

I'm so sorry for you , how's dad taking it?
Can you not throw yourself on this woman's mercy and plead with her?

Therealbumshady · 05/12/2016 18:04

Sorry dd damn auto correct

Original poster

harveyyspecter · 05/12/2016 18:14

Dd's only 2 so she doesn't really understand. She knows there's something wrong though because I've been really upset.

I can't believe how much this has hit me.

OP posts:

LottieL · 05/12/2016 18:26

I am sorry you are suffering. Try and think about it as what's best for the cats. I rent so I know where you are coming from, and can also say from experience that truly long term rentals are few and far between. While saving up for our own house my husband and I have lived in four rental properties, all of which were advertised as long term let but whose owners decided to sell a year or so later. We do have a dog and undergo the absolute panic of finding a place that will take him every time we have to move but that's our problem - we chose to have him so we have to work harder to keep him in our current situation. I'm sorry it didn't work out for you but you have done right in putting your daughter's needs first, securing a roof over her head.

Coffeethrowtrampbitch · 05/12/2016 18:28

I'm so sorry Harvey.

Are they microchipped? I would consider reporting them as stolen to the chip company, as it will be flagged up next time the cats are scanned at the vet. The person holding them will then have to explain to the vet what they have done, and hopefully come to the realisation that they are not helping the cats by depriving them of a loving home.

WannaBe · 05/12/2016 18:40

"Are they microchipped? I would consider reporting them as stolen to the chip company, as it will be flagged up next time the cats are scanned at the vet. The person holding them will then have to explain to the vet what they have done, and hopefully come to the realisation that they are not helping the cats by depriving them of a loving home.". What a ridiculous suggestion. Given that the cats will already have been registered back to the rescue this would achieve nothing anyway. And as for "the person holding them would have to explain what they have done," what, you mean rehomed two cats who were in need of a new home? It's very sad for the OP that she rehomed these cats and has subsequently regretted it, but she did rehome them willingly, even though it wasn't something she wanted to do. To suggest that she report them as stolen just because the rescue have essentially said "you've rehomed these cats, sorry but once you hand them over there's no going back," is ridiculous.

OP, sorry that you're upset, it's a hard lesson to learn.

piglover · 05/12/2016 19:04

Seeing as your cats are now in a new happy home and they aren't going to come back to you, might it be time for another visit to the shelter to find another couple (assuming, of course, that you won't have to give them up again?)

Original poster

harveyyspecter · 05/12/2016 19:08

pig I can't imagine the house without at least one cat so I would love to get more. But what would people think if I said I'd rehomed 2 and got 2 more?

OP posts:

user1471545174 · 05/12/2016 19:14

People are being very unkind to the OP. Surely the rescue should be able to take individual circumstances into account? Would the landlord/lady intervene on your behalf, OP, as she is bending the rule to allow you to have pets? I would also want to try to speak to someone else at the rescue.

PP are behaving as though OP left them on the side of the road.

Original poster

harveyyspecter · 05/12/2016 20:03

She said that she has to think of the cats welfare and that they need stability so they'll be changing their rules to strictly homeowners.

OP posts:

WannaBe · 05/12/2016 20:03

I've seen people absolutely slaughtered on here for rehoming animals, the OP hasn't had anywhere near as hard a time as that.

But what people are saying is that the OP rehomed her cats due to circumstances which at the time were beyond her control. I don't think anyone has criticised her for that have they? However, the reality is that once you rehome an animal, once you essentially give it up to a rescue, you lose any kind of control over what happens to that animal, and the rescue will quite rightly say that they have an obligation to find the most suitable home possible for that animal/s, and given that the OP last week gave those animals away, her's is no longer deemed the most suitable home as her circumstances are unpredictable.

The rescue haven't done anything wrong and neither has the OP. But some decisions we make are not reversible and this is one of them. It's very sad for the OP who misses her cats, but for the cats, they will find a new home and be happy, and hopefully live out their lives there.

I was gutted to have to rehome a retired guide dog. I missed him terribly, but there's no way I would have expected the family member who has taken him on to just give him back if my circumstances changed.

WannaBe · 05/12/2016 20:06

I imagine it may have been a hard lesson for the rescue as well. If they're only a small rescue they likely only have a few cats and so not as many changing circumstances as e.g. One of the larger ones. I can see why they might change their criteria after cats were returned from a rented property, although many circumstances are unpredictable I.e. A couple could divorce and the previous home owner could end up in rental for instance... So even a change in policy would never be water-tight.

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