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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I should be able to have my cats back?

96 replies

harveyyspecter · 05/12/2016 07:38

I posted the other day about having to rehome my cats as my new let doesn't allow pets.

I've been absolutely heartbroken since they went and I've contacted the landlord and pretty much begged her to let me keep the cats and she's said yes.

The cats are at a foster home being looked after by a woman who works for the rescue I got them from. I've asked for them back and they said no Sad

I'm devastated. What do I do?

OP posts:
OnionKnight · 05/12/2016 08:21

OP, I think you need to try to stop panicking, I know it's easier said than done but you seem to have a habit of getting yourself in stressful situations.

Arfarfanarf · 05/12/2016 08:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cheby · 05/12/2016 08:26

I can not believe that people are being critical here! How many times have we read on this site that parents should not prioritise pets over getting a home for their kids? That's exactly what the OP has done; made a really fucking difficult decision and had to give up her much loved pets to secure a home for her child.

There has now been a change of circumstances and she is able to take the cats back. That is 1000 times better than advertising them for rehoming. There is already a loving home, with familiar humans, waiting for them. Rehoming adult cats is really difficult, they may well never find anywhere else.

Those of you being critical have obviously never tried to rent in the current market. It's incredibly difficult and people need to take what they can get for the money they have.

We tried to rent in between selling and buying houses. We both had good incomes, many multiples of the rental value (our current mortgage is 4x the rental value we were looking at and we are comfortably affording that), we were willing to front up what ever deposit the agent wanted and pay 6 months rent in full in advance. We had 2 cats and a toddler and couldn't get anywhere close to renting anywhere. Thank goodness my mother had space for us, otherwise we would have had to rehome the cats ourselves.

Floralnomad · 05/12/2016 08:31

The problem is from the rescues POV you may be in the same situation again further down the line and these cats potentially will be handed back again , and again ,and again ....... If they set the precedent and let you have them back this time . It's unfortunate and I am sympathetic but probably best for the cats .

stonecircle · 05/12/2016 08:33

Cheby - nobody is suggesting that the op shouldn't have prioritised finding a home for her DD over keeping her cats. Nor is anyone doubting the huge problems with the rental market.

Blackfellpony · 05/12/2016 08:34

Most of the rescues I work with have this policy, it's quite common that once you surrender them that's it. I know of people doing it to avoid vets fees, kennel fees or whatever and then asking for the pet back so I understand why.

I would phone and speak to the manager but I expect they have this policy for a reason.

Neverknowing · 05/12/2016 08:38

I'd sneakily get someone I know to adopt them, it takes a while for adult cats to get rehomed. Then you can take them back Wink
Good luck op! I've had to give up my cats to move too, I'm devastated Sad

mypropertea · 05/12/2016 08:41

Rescues are often used as a free cattery by people moving/going on holiday etc. This is one of the reasons rescues are sick of flakey behaviour by owners.

cansu · 05/12/2016 08:45

Fgs people have problems. Obviously op had to take rental so her and her dd are housed. Anyones circumstances can change. If I left my partner and had to move out I would be in the same scenario. It doesn't make op a bad owner. Charity are being ridiculous and are sticking to rules rather than animals welfare. Ridiculous.

Trifleorbust · 05/12/2016 08:52

I can see this from both sides. From your perspective, of course you had to prioritise a roof over your head and for your DD. From theirs, you are someone who can't prioritise the cats. You and your DD aren't their responsibility but the cats are. What might happen if you move again? Will you drop the cats off at the shelter? They probably believe the cats are better off going to someone with a more permanent set up.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 05/12/2016 08:53

I'd contact a solicitor. Hopefully find one with a free half hour.

Good luck

WannaBe · 05/12/2016 08:53

No but having rehomed the cats that decision has now been made and the cats now belong to the rescue and not to the OP. The rescue could potentially have rehomed those cats by now, even though it appears they haven't, their welfare is now the rescue's responsibility and not the OP's.

I had to rehome my retired guide dog when I moved to a much smaller house. I was fortunate and he now lives with a family member. But if I moved to a bigger house I couldn't suddenly demand him back. The decision you take to rehome an animal is permanent, on the basis you put the decision for its welfare in someone else's control.

Costacoffeeplease · 05/12/2016 08:54

Yes fine, she had to take the rental, no-one said otherwise, but to only get permission from the landlord after handing them over means the cats weren't that much of a priority. The reach place has every right to act in what they see as the cats' best interests

Damselindestress · 05/12/2016 08:54

I feel for you but the rescue is clearly concerned your situation is unstable. Maybe you could try and convince them if you can prove you now have permission to keep pets. You could bring up that the cats are chipped to you and you didn't sign anything to relinquish ownership but they would probably bring up the paperwork you signed when adopting the cats, stating that you would return them to the rescue if you were unable to keep them, which is what you did. Consider seeking legal advice, some solicitors offer an initial free consultation.

Mistletoetastic · 05/12/2016 08:54

Offer a donation to the charity and offer to sign a document t saying that you won't try to rehome them again.

I think that's all you can do tbh, appeal to their cat loving side by demonstrating how upset you are?

Jessbow · 05/12/2016 08:57

Perhaps the cat people look at your now situation, and assess you as a new owner , and consider your accommodation innapropriate, or that the landlady will change her mind. One of the Q's asked of maybe adopters '' do you rent or own your on home''.

if its your own, its your call, if you rent its not.

Trifleorbust · 05/12/2016 08:57

That's two people who have mentioned the 'free consultation' offered with most solicitors. Does anyone on here actually believe solicitors should ever be paid for their time? Grin

Not a solicitor btw. But it would irritate the heck out of me to be approached for free advice by someone in this situation.

Mistletoetastic · 05/12/2016 08:58

Neverknowing has a good idea, Get someone you know to pretend to adopt them and get them back that way? You are expected to donate around £70 per cat if cat protection league.

I had to leave my cat with my ex when I left him and was really upset, you have my sympathy

RoseGoldHippie · 05/12/2016 08:59

My mum did this (sort of) with a dog once. She rescued him and he absolutely destroyed the house, after a couple of weeks of it, she couldn't handle it so decided to take him back to the shelter.

She cried all the way there and all the way back. Then didn't stop for a couple of days. My dad got so fed up with the tears that he went back to the shelter and paid to have the dog again. I don't think my mum ever loved my dad more than when he did this.

But long story short, they had to pay for a) rehoming him in the first place, b) for taking him back to the shelter and c) to rehome him again (rightly so IMO)

Maybe they will let you have them back if you pay the revoking fee?

RoseGoldHippie · 05/12/2016 08:59

*rehoming to revoking!

ARumWithAView · 05/12/2016 09:02

You might have your landlady's verbal agreement that you can keep the cats, but is it in the contract? I would be wary if it isn't. It sounds like you made an emotive appeal, and she said yes, but if it's not official then you could find yourself in a difficult position.

I have cats (and rent), so I do sympathise, but I can also see the charity's point of view. If your contract doesn't specify that you're allowed to keep pets then you're dependent on the LL's goodwill; getting the cats back may just cause you all more stress and uncertainty.

Scooby20 · 05/12/2016 09:03

The issue is that you don't own the cats anymore. You have up ownership.

Did you just ask for them back or did you ask to adopt them back?

Is your new home suitable, would you pass the checks?

YetAnotherSpartacus · 05/12/2016 09:09

I am so very sorry and I hope that you get your cats back Flowers.

WannaBe · 05/12/2016 09:15

I can't believe that people are actually suggesting the OP go and see a solicitor over cats which she willingly gave up.

The rescue have absolutely no obligation to let the OP have the cats back.

Trifleorbust · 05/12/2016 09:16

How long did you have the cats, OP? If it was a matter of a few months I am really not surprised they have taken away from this that you can't be relied upon to not bring them back again.

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