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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think I should be able to have my cats back?

96 replies

harveyyspecter · 05/12/2016 07:38

I posted the other day about having to rehome my cats as my new let doesn't allow pets.

I've been absolutely heartbroken since they went and I've contacted the landlord and pretty much begged her to let me keep the cats and she's said yes.

The cats are at a foster home being looked after by a woman who works for the rescue I got them from. I've asked for them back and they said no Sad

I'm devastated. What do I do?

OP posts:
diddl · 05/12/2016 09:18

"The rescue have absolutely no obligation to let the OP have the cats back."

That's true.

Would be nice if they work with her though rather than just a no.

Trifleorbust · 05/12/2016 09:21

diddl: But their first responsibility is to the cats, isn't it, not to the OP. I get that she is upset but they can't make their decision on that basis.

Jellybean83 · 05/12/2016 09:25

I can see it from both sides, you had to take the house to do the best for your child, they're just trying to do what they think best for the cats. I'm not sure what the solution is but I genuinely hope you get your cats back. Flowers

shovetheholly · 05/12/2016 09:27

I think this is very unenlightened of the rescue. Someone who is prepared to fight for their pets, who realises they have made a terrible mistake in giving them up and who then successfully negotiates a rescue plan with the landlord to be allowed to keep them is exactly the kind of person who should be able to have them back.

Try getting in touch with the local media and telling them your story?

crashdoll · 05/12/2016 09:28

I have sympathy with you but I see it from their position too. Sorry, YWBU to force their hand to give them back. You relinquished ownership.

SaucyJack · 05/12/2016 09:31

" But their first responsibility is to the cats, isn't it, not to the OP."

Yes, exactly. Which is why they should be given to the person that they're attached to, and who can take them (back) right now- rather than sitting in a small cage for the next couple of months to be re-homed with strangers and possibly separately.

Cat shelters are no place for a cat when they have a home to go back to.

diddl · 05/12/2016 09:32

" But their first responsibility is to the cats, isn't it, not to the OP. "

Oh yes I get that.

I was thinking that they might at least find out how secure Op is in the current rental for example.

But then if they can easily rehome the cats longterm then I can see that that is the best solution from their pov.

Liiinoo · 05/12/2016 09:35

I feel for you OP but I can also see where the shelter is coming from. Your landlady is the one in charge here and if she changed her mind the cats would be uprooted again

We had two cats we got from a shelter as kittens. When they were 7 we moved house (owners). The stress of moving was too much for them and they went from perfectly litter trained to spraying and pooing in very inappropriate places as well as marking their territory by scratching doors and woodwork. . We tried all sorts of pheromone treatments but none of them worked. Eventually we had to sacrifice an area of the house and accept that area was effectively the cats latrine and just try and keep it as clean as possible. I don't think any landlord would have put up with that.

That was nearly 10 years ago. The last cat died three weeks ago. I am in the process of ripping up the carpet that is rotted with cat wee, replacing floorboards, having woodwork made good etc. I reckon it will cost £2500- £3500 to get things back up to standard.

Trifleorbust · 05/12/2016 09:37

SaucyJack: They probably take the view that it is better for the cats to be rehomed with someone else than to give them back to someone who has proved that they are unreliable. I am not trying to be harsh here; I just think that shelters do a very difficult job and we can't blame the stag for doing what they see to be in the interests of the animals.

Trifleorbust · 05/12/2016 09:38

*staff

WannaBe · 05/12/2016 09:50

"Yes, exactly. Which is why they should be given to the person that they're attached to, and who can take them (back) right now- rather than sitting in a small cage for the next couple of months to be re-homed with strangers and possibly separately.". But they're not. They're with a fosterer. And presumably other cats have been turned away because the rescue's first obligation is to these cats on the basis that they came from there in the first place.

But by all means suggest that the OP go to the media, and to a solicitor, to blacken the name of a charity which has done exactly what it is meant to do - take in cats when the owner no longer could have them, and hopefully find a more permanent and secure home for them.

Rehoming living breathing animals is not a mistake, it's a conscious choice. And while of course many animals have to be rehomed for valid reasons, once that decision is made those animals are no longer the responsibility of the person who took them to the rescue. It's a hard lesson to learn but a valid one.

Original poster
harveyyspecter · 05/12/2016 09:50

Don't get me wrong, I do understand it from their point of view. I made a heartbreaking mistake under pressure and I hugely regret it.

The woman at the rescue is being rude and is now even ignoring my email. She said the cats are happy and purring away and coming for cuddles. That makes me feel better Hmm

OP posts:
Lunde · 05/12/2016 09:50

This is a tough situation for both sides.

Has the landlady had it written into the rental agreement that you are allowed to have pets? Or is it just something she said on the phone? I would be concerned that the decision will change again if other residents complain and the cats will have to move yet again

Sonders · 05/12/2016 09:50

OP I do some volunteering for an animal rehoming charity (although I have no influence on the actual homing side).

In my experience it's quite unusual for them not to advertise healthy cats for adoption straight away, which may suggest they've had to undergo some treatment (vaccinations/neutering/chipping), can you check if these have been done and offer to cover the cost?

Unfortunately quite a few cats are abandoned and once healthy again, their owners want them back.

One thing that works on your side is that adoptions really slow down at this time of year, so you have a little more time to convince them that you can provide a safe and loving home.

hopskip123 · 05/12/2016 09:57

My understanding is that if they are chipped and you havent signed them over they are still your property. If you are serious then write a recorded delivery letter to the charity stating why they would be better being homed back with you, offering a (good sized) donation to cover fostering expenses and mentioning politely that the cats are still legally yours and thar you will pursue the matter if necessary.

This is assuming you really can offer a stable home and have had them for years not months.

Trifleorbust · 05/12/2016 10:04

Okay, OP. How long did you have them?

WannaBe · 05/12/2016 10:16

OP said in a previous thread that the cats are only a year old. So they've only been with her for a matter of months.

Suggesting the OP take legal action is ridiculous. As OP has already confirmed, when she adopted the cats she signed a form which stated that in the event she was unable to keep them she return them to the rescue in question. She has done that, therefore they now legally belong to the rescue.

And being upset that the cats are happy? Hmm surely it's better that they are happy and purring.

Trifleorbust · 05/12/2016 10:18

So these were two kittens or very young cats, adopted and then returned within the space of a year? No wonder the shelter is demurring to return them.

neonrainbow · 05/12/2016 10:24

Id get a friend to adopt them for me and pay whatever fee it took to get them back.

KittensKidsAndKisses · 05/12/2016 10:32

How long will you be in your new house? Is it likely you'll be moving again? How long have you had the cats?

Original poster
harveyyspecter · 05/12/2016 11:25

I've had the cats since they were 7 months old and I've had them for 9 months. I won't be moving again for a very long time and when I do it will hopefully be to buy and not rent.

Of course I'm glad that the cats are happy but the way she worded her email was very bitchy towards me.

OP posts:
Original poster
harveyyspecter · 05/12/2016 11:27

Can I just add that I had no idea whatsoever that I would have to move so soon. That's not my fault Confused. Do most people have permanent secure lifestyles that never change?

OP posts:
littlesallyracket · 05/12/2016 11:36

I do understand why you're so upset, but you had them for less than a year before you gave them up. What happens if they return them and your landlord decides they're selling your rental and you have to move again in a hurry? Do you then give them up again? You aren't in a position to commit to these animals and I hate to say it but the rescue centre is in the right.

She said the cats are happy and purring away and coming for cuddles. That makes me feel better Hmm

I hope you're not being sarcastic here. Would you rather they were miserable and pining?

Sonders · 05/12/2016 11:47

OP as much as I am sympathetic that you miss your cats, you need to be more pragmatic about this and stop believing that charity has a personal beef with you.

These people are no doubt volunteers who also have full time jobs, and their only concern is making sure the cats are safe and loved - so maybe cut them some slack.

I don't know what your conversations have been up to this point, but have you asked (very sensibly) what you can do to prove you can provide them with the security they need?

Temporaryname137 · 05/12/2016 11:52

OP, please don't waste your money on legal action. There are no grounds here to do anything!

Sorry you are upset. If you have something in writing from the landlady, I would try writing to the charity to get hold of someone different and to explain that you are not flaky, but circumstances beyond your control changed. If that doesn't work, sorry, and hopefully one day when you buy a house, you will have another cat.

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