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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Stupid husband

70 replies

Rowena4444 · 04/12/2016 23:51

Hi everyone, just need to know if IBU or not. I'm Feeling pretty pissed off after finding out that the source of My DS's (10) terrible nightmares & refusal to sleep a few weeks ago was due to DH letting him watch "IT" without my knowledge or consent 😡 & when did he finally decide to confess the truth to me? During his best man speech on Thursday. Hes such an idiot. I'm so cross as we'd talked about it beforehand & I said that absolutely not is he to watch that film. DS seems ok now, fingers crossed. I've told DH before, He is 10! Not 16!!? I think he feels like he's older than he is. Think he's learnt his lesson though. I'm more pissed off that he's kept it a secret & got DS to keep it secret & lie to me as well. Not impressed with that at all. Like I'm the bad guy & im unreasonable & he's the cool fun guy letting him watch stuff behind my back. That's not cool. Feel pretty upset tbh, & deffo said lots of "I told you so's". Nightmare duty at 1,2,3 am is firmly his territory now. I'm having none of it. AIBU?

OP posts:
DearMrDilkington · 04/12/2016 23:54

& when did he finally decide to confess the truth to me? During his best man speech on Thursday

What? How did he slip that into his best man speech?Confused

Rowena4444 · 04/12/2016 23:55

Just a kind of "funny anecdote"

OP posts:
DearMrDilkington · 04/12/2016 23:58

How strange. Yanbu, its completely unsuitable.

Rowena4444 · 04/12/2016 23:59

I think it was his way of telling me without getting to told off.

OP posts:
baconandeggies · 05/12/2016 00:04

Stupid sod

scottishdiem · 05/12/2016 00:09

What?!? As in the Tim Curry as a Clown IT? For a 10 year old?!? Fuck that!

Now, I saw it when I was about 14 or 15 and found the ending/scary monster hilariously bad but I'd read the book by then and was ok. At 10 the entire thing would have freaked me out.

I had nightmares at the alien baby in V (snuck down to watch it on TV as was about 9) and liked Sci-Fi. IT would have freaked me out far worse.

Rowena4444 · 05/12/2016 00:18

Yes! Horrible murderous, child-killing Tim Curry clown! I had nightmares about ghostbusters 2 so I'm a proper wuss. Just so cross that I've had to deal with these nightmares & I didn't even know what I was properly dealing with

OP posts:
scottishdiem · 05/12/2016 00:28

The man is an idiot. Definately make him get up to deal with the nightmares.

Although a walking Statue of Liberty should not be causing nightmares! Unless you have seen Dr Who and the weeping angels.....

MsGameandWatch · 05/12/2016 00:30

Your husband sounds like a complete idiot. I'd struggle to find anything to fancy in such a man.

WeirdAndPissedOff · 05/12/2016 00:34

My youngest Dsis had nightmares after watching Ghostbusters 2 - there's a scene in a tunnel (sewer?) Where there's a load of heads on spikes - quite unsettling for an otherwise lighthearted movie!

Your poor DS, though - and thoughtless DH!

Cagliostro · 05/12/2016 00:34

wow that is incredibly stupid, I would lose a whole lot of respect for him making that decision AND then deliberately hiding it from you TBH. what a tit

Redesul · 05/12/2016 00:34

He might be feeling guilty about it... My partner sheepishly admitted to me the other day that our 4 year old son screamed and hid when the aliens appeared in Independece Day. Not quite the same thing I know but...

AskBasil · 05/12/2016 00:38

You know, when very poor people let their kids watch stuff like this, they get lambasted for bad parenting.

But when non-marginalised men do it, it's a bit of a laugh.

What an irresponsible man you are married to. How tiresome for you. What a shit thing to do to his DS. Sad

Rowena4444 · 05/12/2016 00:41

MsGameandWatch bit harsh! 1 lapse in judgment doesn't stop him being a great husband or a good father to our 3 children

OP posts:
Clandestino · 05/12/2016 00:54

AskBasil, what does class got to do with it?
I still have nightmares from IT and I was 20 when I saw it. I'd call my husband stupid too.

NovemberInDailyFailLand · 05/12/2016 01:20

I saw it when I was 16 and still think about it.

Happyoutlook · 05/12/2016 01:20

I remember as a 11 year old kid wanting to watch Flight of the Intruder. Dad said he would watch it and record it then if it was suitable I could watch it. It was deemed ok so I watched it. The screen where the co pilot gets shot in the neck still freaks me out

DixieWishbone · 05/12/2016 01:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OhFuckOff · 05/12/2016 02:37

My mother made me watch horrors when I was a child I was 9 Including it, I was so terrified I ended up scared of the dark and struggled to sleep for years. The worst was the fog Sad

haystack10 · 05/12/2016 02:47

"Stupid husband" Aren't they all, but where would we be without them? Grin

mathanxiety · 05/12/2016 03:17

So he did this and then blithely let you lose sleep on nightmare duty for several weeks?

And he made the child lie to you about what exactly he had seen or what he was terrified of?

Stupid is not the word here.

haystack10 · 05/12/2016 03:40

Mathanxiety, don't you find though that sometimes men can be like naughty little boys and therefore too afraid/ guilty to own up straight away. I'm not making excuses for them or condoning it but I'm 61 years old and I've found that whether we like it or not, no matter how indignant and unbelieving we are about it, men sometimes ARE like young guilty boys.

pollyglot · 05/12/2016 04:42

Don't even get me started. Your prat of a husband has plenty of company in the stoopid man stakes. Such as my ex, who allowed our very small daughter to watch some B movie about monsters emerging from the loo, along with her older brothers. She would not use the loo for many months, and there was screaming and nightmares. Mind you, this is the same man who, as they all watched me fly off to Japan on a business trip, said to the three children "Your mother's plane might crash and that might be the last time you see her". What a bastard.

sashh · 05/12/2016 05:25

Oh no.

My cousin was about the same age when he was it, not only did he find it hard to sleep but he couldn't go upstairs tot he bathroom, he had to use the downstairs loo with two adults standing at opposite ends of the hall.

In 20 + years whatever the equivalent of MN is there will be a thread about, "what did your parents let you do that you won't let your children?" it's going to be like the sitting outside the pub with lemonade and crisps from the 70s.

mathanxiety · 05/12/2016 05:46

No I don't, Haystack.

I am 52.

Men would have us believe they are capable of engaging their brains enough to run countries, to dominate STEM careers, to be lawyers and judges, police officers, nurses, psychologists, psychiatrists, teachers, to vote and handle money and become parents. So therefore they are capable of making sensible decisions when it comes to what is suitable for children to watch on tv and if they do make a huge mistake in choice of viewing material, to notice when their ten year old companion is terrified out of his mind.

They are also capable of being honest, respectful, responsible and caring parents and spouses. I had two parents like that. One was a man. He was born in 1918. His idea of cooking dinner for us all if mum was out was frying bread, but otherwise you couldn't ask for a more solid person.

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