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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was I wrong to respond on Facebook?

106 replies

Mrbluethecatt · 04/12/2016 14:08

My DH is diabetic. He has been all his life. He usually has good control of his condition and rarely has hypos, they only usually occur when he is ill.

He does not drink alcohol however if his blood sugar levels drop to a certain level he becomes disoriented, sweaty, slurs his words and can look drunk.

Last night we were out with friends and after about an hour I noticed that DH was acting odd, with some of the symptoms explained above. After he had some sugary drinks and food he seemed better and we went home. He woke up this morning with a cough so is probably coming down with something.

So this morning I looked at Facebook and a 'friend' posted about people being drunk and being embarrassing specifically mentioned DH. All our friends know about his diabetes. I texted her to say DH had a hypo last night which caused him to appear drunk but thankfully he is ok now. She then posted in Facebook that 'the misses' (not mentioning my name but posts under her original post about DH) is trying to backtrack and pretend that her husband isn't a drunk. Que people on her wall posting shit. Most of the people posting are not my friends but friends of friends (if that makes sense). I then posted under their comments that DH had a medical issue with his diabetes, he wasn't drunk and posted a link to a webpage explaining symptoms of hypos.

I have now had about 3 text messages from the person who originally posted and another person who was there last night to say I was out of order. I should apologise. I don't think I have done anything wrong just nipped the whole thing in the bud.

So was ibu to respond on Facebook?

OP posts:
PaulDacresConscience · 04/12/2016 15:01

I would give her both barrels, the two faced cow:

How DARE you accuse me of publicly humiliating you? What about the fact that you publicly accused my DH of being drunk and embarrassing when actually he wasn't? Or is it OK to slag him off? The only person you have 'humiliated' is yourself, with your narrow minded and mean comments. And instead of accepting that you got it wrong and apologising for being nasty, you're now trying to make this MY fault? Some 'friend' you are. Grow up and get a grip. If you want to apologise and delete your status then I'll accept your apology and we'll say no more about it. But if you are going to continue to insist that YOUR bad behaviour is somehow my fault, then we're done.

ElspethFlashman · 04/12/2016 15:02

What exactly did you say on FB?

I'm presuming you didn't say "He wasn't drunk you utter twat" so how did it humiliate her?

CaptainMarvelDanvers · 04/12/2016 15:02

She does know that if she deletes her original post then all the replies disappear?

Because you've replied to her publicly you've changed her false narrative, that's why she's stropping.

She sounds like a moo bag.

Adala · 04/12/2016 15:03

... How did you word it on FB? Is there anyway she's misread your tone?

Adala · 04/12/2016 15:03

She sounds like a fucking awful "friend" by the way!

ItsALLAboutMeMeMeMeME · 04/12/2016 15:04

Oh, still your fault because you have no sense of humour?

Tell her to delete her 'joke' then. Not on fb soil maybe it's not possible, but surely she'd just be better deleting the entire thread if she's finding it so embarrassing. Why the hell should you be made out the bad guy because she fucked up?

karalime · 04/12/2016 15:04

Wow. I'd be embarrassed if I were her.

I'm not one for airing your forty laundry on Facebook but she started it. Go all out. Write a status thanking everyone for their concern about your husband and his serious hypo and tag her in it. Embarrass her some more, enjoy the comment shitshow and then block her from your life.

ZoFloMoFo · 04/12/2016 15:04

There's got to be more to this, surely?

Are you sure she wasn't very clearly joking and you've responded with something hugely inflammatory... because especially as your DH doesn't drink and your friend knows this, I just don't understand it at all Confused

MangoBiscuit · 04/12/2016 15:04

If she wants it deleted, then she deletes the whole post. She attempted to publicly humiliate your DH, and then you, and has the cheek to claim she's the victim because you stood up to her?! I'd be telling her to FTFO and having no more to do with her.

indigox · 04/12/2016 15:05

Why would she post the thing in the first place, to go out of her way to humiliate someone?!

ElspethFlashman · 04/12/2016 15:06

Yeah I don't really understand this whole story, sorry OP.

Why did she post a bitchy status about your husband in the first place? This isn't Saudi Arabia, nobody cares if someone's drunk.

NerrSnerr · 04/12/2016 15:08

What was your response to her? It sounds like there is more to this.

YelloDraw · 04/12/2016 15:09

Wow. Who does that?? They aren't your friends.

One of our friends is severely diabetic and has to be super careful when out. He now has a monitoring device installed in him that his phone reads - so much better than doing prick tests every hour or so.

Sparlklesilverglitter · 04/12/2016 15:10

Well she's a class act isn't she Confused

I think she doesn't like it as you've now called her out on her frankly stupid behaviour, seriously does she have no life to get on with!

If you know somebody has a medical condition, why would you even make a comment like that.

Even if your DH had been drinking who makes a status about it, somebody drinks on a night out- Stop the press!

YelloDraw · 04/12/2016 15:11

Why did she post a bitchy status about your husband in the first place? This isn't Saudi Arabia, nobody cares if someone's drunk

Not sure. Could be something like "so annoying, wanted a night out with friends but some people couldn't control themselves and got pissed up before we evening got there. God what a state."

I can see some people posting bitchy things like that!

mommy2ash · 04/12/2016 15:12

It definitely sounds like something is missing here especially as more than one person thinks you did something wrong. What exactly was her original post and what was your response?

NewUserName01 · 04/12/2016 15:13

They feel publicly humiliated. The irony.

EatTheCake · 04/12/2016 15:13

What a bitchy thing for her to do Confused

Don't delete your comment, all you done was post some common sense by the sound of it!

I'd delete the "friend" I think, she's know you 15 years, knows full well about your DH medial condition yet she posted it for a "joke"

Even if he was drunk, who the fuck cares enough to post about someone being drunk in 2016

MissVictoria · 04/12/2016 15:13

I Assume the fact she's asked you to remove your response means she's using FB on her phone so cannot delete your comment herself. GOOD.
I'm pretty sure even on her phone she can delete her own post, but she doesn't want to do that and have everyone think "What a bitch she was obviously lying/making it up" so wants you to remove your comment to make it seem you were the one lying.

I'd make my own post, reiterating the dangers of hypos, the warning signs, and how to bring up their blood sugars to a safe level. Even medical professionals miss it, i remember a story of some poor guy having a hypo on a bus, a nurse was sat the seat behind and had chocolate in her bag but assumed he was just a drunk, poor guy was found sat there dead end of the bus route :(

MakeMyWineADouble · 04/12/2016 15:14

If she's bothered delete she can the status and poof it's gone I don't see why she is Harssing you! The whole thing is very odd 'friends' who bitch about other 'friends especially in Facebook are dicks! Delete unfollow block all the arses on all platforms then poof drama over no one needs people lol that in life!

Aeroflotgirl · 04/12/2016 15:14

How very nasty and disablist, she would not be my friend anymore, I would delete and block her! Nasty piece of work, spreading false information about your dh, and spreading gossip, and having the audacity to say that you were out of order Angry. Nasty piece of work! Op said her dh does not drink, you can go out, without having alcohol you know!

MakeMyWineADouble · 04/12/2016 15:15

D'oh that was meant to start if she's bothered she can delete the status 😳😳

Aeroflotgirl · 04/12/2016 15:16

I would also ask her to remove her inflamatory status, or you will report her to FAcebook!

Aeroflotgirl · 04/12/2016 15:17

I would also delete and block your other uni friends who support her too.

MotherFuckingChainsaw · 04/12/2016 15:19

Good foR you OP

i have several diabetic friends, and it is a worry at this time of year especially that a hypo will be dismissed as them being drunk, and they will fail to get the help they need.

I have heard of diabetics dying as people just walk past the 'drunk idiot'.