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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Was I wrong to respond on Facebook?

106 replies

Mrbluethecatt · 04/12/2016 14:08

My DH is diabetic. He has been all his life. He usually has good control of his condition and rarely has hypos, they only usually occur when he is ill.

He does not drink alcohol however if his blood sugar levels drop to a certain level he becomes disoriented, sweaty, slurs his words and can look drunk.

Last night we were out with friends and after about an hour I noticed that DH was acting odd, with some of the symptoms explained above. After he had some sugary drinks and food he seemed better and we went home. He woke up this morning with a cough so is probably coming down with something.

So this morning I looked at Facebook and a 'friend' posted about people being drunk and being embarrassing specifically mentioned DH. All our friends know about his diabetes. I texted her to say DH had a hypo last night which caused him to appear drunk but thankfully he is ok now. She then posted in Facebook that 'the misses' (not mentioning my name but posts under her original post about DH) is trying to backtrack and pretend that her husband isn't a drunk. Que people on her wall posting shit. Most of the people posting are not my friends but friends of friends (if that makes sense). I then posted under their comments that DH had a medical issue with his diabetes, he wasn't drunk and posted a link to a webpage explaining symptoms of hypos.

I have now had about 3 text messages from the person who originally posted and another person who was there last night to say I was out of order. I should apologise. I don't think I have done anything wrong just nipped the whole thing in the bud.

So was ibu to respond on Facebook?

OP posts:

PaperdollCartoon · 04/12/2016 14:29

DP is*

ValaMalDoran · 04/12/2016 14:30

maverick she did politely correct the friend by text and the friend responded by publically slagging the OP as well.

girlelephant · 04/12/2016 14:33

Friends would never behave like that!

Mrsmadevans · 04/12/2016 14:36

drop them they are absolute pigs

SapphireStrange · 04/12/2016 14:38

YANBU; they're horrible.

Serialweightwatcher · 04/12/2016 14:38

Of course YANBU - she is a complete and utter cow and not a friend at all ....... even if it wasn't for his diabetes and even if he had been drinking, she has no right to put him down like that on fb just for something shitty to write to get attention. Get the witch out of your lives!

passingthrough1 · 04/12/2016 14:39

Even if he was drunk isn't it really weird for her to be writing about it on Facebook the next day and people be commenting?!

EweAreHere · 04/12/2016 14:40

You have terrible friends. Why are you friends with them?

FlappysMammyAndPopeInExile · 04/12/2016 14:41

I saw guy who seemed very drunk once trying to get his key into his car door lock in a pub car park. I went back into the pub and told the bouncer what was happening and he came out to persuade him give up his key and ring a taxi.

I transpired that he was diabetic, and just needed some sugary tea and a biscuit to set him right. I have been considerably less judgemental since then.

SoupDragon · 04/12/2016 14:42

Does your DH mind you posting his personal medical stuff on Facebook?

FannyWincham · 04/12/2016 14:42

YANBU. You have set the record straight.

But these are not good people. Drop them.

MazDazzle · 04/12/2016 14:44

'Personal medical stuff' - he's diabetic. I doubt he's keeping this a secret .

WorraLiberty · 04/12/2016 14:45

It's just all too strange.

You've had four text messages saying you were out of order and you should apologise?

Part of this story is missing surely?

littlesallyracket · 04/12/2016 14:46

YANBU and this person is absolutely not a 'friend'. Delete her.

My dad has Parkinson's disease which means he is very unsteady on his feet, slurs his speech. Strangers often think he's just drunk and it really upsets him ... good for you for saying something.

NoSunNoMoon · 04/12/2016 14:47

"Why should I apologise for your stupidity?"

JosephineMaynard · 04/12/2016 14:49

No way would I be apologising. She's the one who made this a public discussion in the first place.

If anyone should be apologising, it's her, for bad mouthing your DH like that.

CalmItKermitt · 04/12/2016 14:52

But that just doesn't make sense. What possible justification could anyone have for thinking you need to apologise? Apologise for what?

Very odd.

jennielou75 · 04/12/2016 14:52

I have hemiplegic migraines which make me slur my words and go very wobbly. I wear a medic alert bracelet to inform people as I have been accused of being drunk mid migraine. Not nice.

CaptainMarvelDanvers · 04/12/2016 14:53

The 'friend' sounds very odd.

Why is it even facebook worthy to complain that a friend was drunk? It sound like she was trying to demean your DH for attention.

Is there other things going on in the background of your friend group, has she always being like this?

GinAndOnIt · 04/12/2016 14:56

Ugh. This is horrible.

My dad is diabetic and when I was younger, these things occasionally happened if we were out for a lunch just the two of us or whatever. There would be so many judgy looks and head tilts at the worried 10 year old asking for a coke quickly for her dad, who looked drunk in the corner. I definitely would not have tolerated that from friends

Original poster

Mrbluethecatt · 04/12/2016 14:56

Well I now have 7 messages. Ffs. The person who posted is a friend from Uni, DH and I have known her for about 15 years. Apparently I have publicly humiliated her hence the messages. She has sent 4 messages and is now asking me to delete my response as she was 'only joking'. The other 3 messages was from her DH, and two other friends from Uni.

DH is in bed so hasn't seen the messages but I did tell him I was going to post. Some of the people there last night have texted me to check he is ok. So not all our friends are twats.

It's the first time I have rebuked something publicly on Facebook so I was in two minds if I should. It just gauls me when people jump to conclusions and then won't admit they are wrong. It's ok to be wrong, no real harm was done.

OP posts:

NeighTrumpSnort · 04/12/2016 14:57

So they have accused and named your DH on FB, which has resulted in his name being linked to the post accusing him of being drunk and embarrassing. The link to the post will notify friends and maybe work colleagues of the situation.

I do not think you have anything to apologise for. They have accused your husband publicly of behaving inappropriately which could have ramifications in his personal life, for example with work.

Bluntness100 · 04/12/2016 14:59

Surely they must have seen he wasn't drinking? And know he doesn't drink? I'm unsure how this confusion can occur with friends? You don't say it was a major party just you were out with some friends? If so, friends would see he wasn't drinking and know he is tea total.

Sorry, something wrong with this story, at least two people you claim to call friends are saying your husband is a drunk and embarrassed them. You're saying he is tea total. How can they be confused as to whether he was drinking or not?

Surferbabe · 04/12/2016 15:00

Oh OP Stand you ground be proud of standing up for your dh. The woman sounds manipulative and possibly narcissist. Defriend and ditch.

WorraLiberty · 04/12/2016 15:00

Why on earth doesn't she delete your response??

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