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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I know IABU.

100 replies

Mooey89 · 04/12/2016 07:26

And this is totally petty and ridiculous.
BUT.
Every single fucking Sunday DP watches match of the day at 7.30am.
This means that the TV is taken for hours.
We have a 3 year old, who wakes up at 6am.
DS asks to watch his programme. Every Sunday DP refuses to watch MOTD on his laptop. DS can't do this because it's a laptop and an adult can sit in the dining room watching it but not a three year old!

It drives me crazy that we have the same thing every week. This morning DS and DP were in bed drinking milk/tea, I had set my alarm so I could do my exercise DVD, to be told he will need the Tv on half an hour and I can do it at any time.

I'm grumpy, I'm being Unreasonable I know. But I fucking hate the fucking football.
Our lives don't revolve around the TV - just that 7.30 in the morning is prime time for toddler distraction while I do housework/have a shower/whatever.

OP posts:
HaveNoSocks · 04/12/2016 09:11

I would be tempted to book an early exercise class so he's left looking after the toddler at 7:30am every week.

harshbuttrue1980 · 04/12/2016 09:13

Havenosocks, did you miss the part where the OP said that DH is the child's stepdad?? It sounds like he more than pulls his weight. There's no way a 3 year old should get first dibs on the TV.

supermoon100 · 04/12/2016 09:14

The adult is behaving like the child. Family life comes first

OnionKnight · 04/12/2016 09:14

The OP hasn't said that he is refusing to parent.

pictish · 04/12/2016 09:16

Don't be silly Supermoon.

OnionKnight · 04/12/2016 09:16

DonaldStott, how does watching sport make him a tosspot?

I could say that a response like that makes you look like a twat but I won't.

KookSpook · 04/12/2016 09:17

I wouldnt have an issue with it at all.

I would give DS a long bubble bath & breakfast = 90 mins gone.

IrregularCommentary · 04/12/2016 09:18

It's fine. It's 90mins. Why shouldn't he watch his show? As other pps have said, your ds can watch something on the laptop if he's sat away from it to avoid damage, or play with toys for a bit.

I don't understand people's angst about poor impulse control in 3yr olds. Poor impulse control doesn't mean deferring to them at every opportunity ffs.

And fwiw pps, not liking football yourself isn't a good enough reason to stop other people watching motd...

ieatyellowsnow · 04/12/2016 09:20

I would say great you watch motd and look after Ds because I'm going back to bed. It's hard enough having to get up early on a Sunday with young kids without having tv too! My morning for waking up is Sunday (I lie in on Saturdays) and I would be very upset if there were no Milkshake on the tv!! I need time to wake and a cuppa!

Sixisthemagicnumber · 04/12/2016 09:22

If he wants to watch football, he goes the pub.

Which involves spending money and being away from the smoky for a few hours so he isn't available to help out at all. Plus the pubs are not open for Sunday morning match of the day.
I can't believe that there are people that think a man should not watch tv for 90 minutes each week because it gets in the way of family life and means he is too obsessed with sport. Ffs, my DH is a hands on dad who does loads of housework and works full time but he still enjoys a bit of football on the tv. We solve the issue by just having more than one tv. It isn't a hardship to sit in separate rooms for 90 mins or so once a week or even twice a week. When I go off on a shopping and lunch trip with my mum I am gone for hours, much more than DH spends indulging in his pleasure of a bit of footie on the Tele. We all have different pleasures in life and a 3 Year olds don't necessarily trump an adults especially when CBeebies is on for 13 hours each day!

supermoon100 · 04/12/2016 09:24

Bit rude pictish! Not silly at all. Thems the rules in our house. Over grown children do not get first dibs on tv. Very sensible

SheldonCRules · 04/12/2016 09:26

Wow, talk about a child ruling the roost. So he has to use his laptop all week if he wants to watch anything and is now being moaned at for dare wanting a 90 minute programme on the actual TV once a week.

Presumably he contributes to the rent, electric etc so why on earth should he come last in the pecking order.

supermoon100 · 04/12/2016 09:29

Perhaps because his needs are in the minority. There are two other people in the house

OnionKnight · 04/12/2016 09:29

So he's an over grown child because he likes sport?

Yes very reasonable Hmm

I'm always amazed by how much some Mumsnet posters seem to hate sport and think it's beneath them to be with a man who watches it, either that or they are typing bollocks.

FrancisCrawford · 04/12/2016 09:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

blueskyinmarch · 04/12/2016 09:32

This thread baffles me.

This man gets up at 7.30am. He can keep an eye on the kids while they play and watch MOTD while he is doing it. I cannot see any issue there. Children don’t need the TV on to keep them amused. They can play with their toys.

When mine were small my DH used to get up early with the DC at the weekend to let me sleep. He would watch some crap called Transvision Sport (or something like that) and the DC played with their toys. As a child my DF watched horse racing and football pretty much all day on a Saturday. We played with our toys.

I genuinely cannot see what OP is moaning about.

FlyingElbows · 04/12/2016 09:35

Has nobody told him that this is munsnetland and in munsnetland men are good for nothing and absolutely bottom of the rankings at all times? Watch a programme? In his own home? Ltb! Or, if you're a rational person, buy another TV if it's essential for your child to be screen occupied at all times.

Sixisthemagicnumber · 04/12/2016 09:36

sheldon has it spot on.

pictish · 04/12/2016 09:36

I agree Francis.

Like tonight. The kids generally get the run of the tv, but tonight we're going to be watching Planet Earth rather than the X Factor because it's what we prefer and it's our turn. Suck it up kids.

No idea why his Sunday morning MOTD is such a problem to you Supermoon...his expectation is normal. We all have to make room for each other.

FrancisCrawford · 04/12/2016 09:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

supermoon100 · 04/12/2016 09:52

I've seen too many 1950s households where mens viewing habits take precedent. It's simply how I choose not to love.

MrsMcMoo · 04/12/2016 09:56

Can you buy a second TV as a family Christmas gift to all of you from Santa, to put in another room, e.g. Kitchen. If you put it in the bedroom, you could even have a lie in / read a book while DS watches it. You can get some pretty cheap ones, sometimes even free (Im about to put our old one on Freecycle).

I completely see why you'd like DS to watch TV on a Sunday morning. I also get why your DP wants to watch sport, although if I were him, I'd compromise and watch it on the laptop.

OnionKnight · 04/12/2016 09:56

Nobody is saying that his viewing habits take precedent but for the love of god it's one 90 minute program a week.

Sixisthemagicnumber · 04/12/2016 09:57

90 minutes once a week and any other football he watched on his laptop? Yeah I can really see how that is an example of 1960's men's viewing habits taking precedence Hmm

coffeetasteslikeshit · 04/12/2016 10:04

When my DS was 3 I would have said that YANBU. However, 9 years down the line I will say that YABU and that you should actively encourage your DS to spend some time bonding with his stepfather over the football. Obviously he's a bit young to be really interested at the moment, but over time he will probably start to show on interest in football, especially if his dad likes it, and then it can be 'their thing' whilst you get a lie in on Sundays.