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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I know IABU.

100 replies

Mooey89 · 04/12/2016 07:26

And this is totally petty and ridiculous.
BUT.
Every single fucking Sunday DP watches match of the day at 7.30am.
This means that the TV is taken for hours.
We have a 3 year old, who wakes up at 6am.
DS asks to watch his programme. Every Sunday DP refuses to watch MOTD on his laptop. DS can't do this because it's a laptop and an adult can sit in the dining room watching it but not a three year old!

It drives me crazy that we have the same thing every week. This morning DS and DP were in bed drinking milk/tea, I had set my alarm so I could do my exercise DVD, to be told he will need the Tv on half an hour and I can do it at any time.

I'm grumpy, I'm being Unreasonable I know. But I fucking hate the fucking football.
Our lives don't revolve around the TV - just that 7.30 in the morning is prime time for toddler distraction while I do housework/have a shower/whatever.

OP posts:
Sixisthemagicnumber · 04/12/2016 07:58

Just buy a second tv, they are really cheap nowadays.
having a second tv will solve the other problem of your DH watching matches on the laptop too. Even if he needs to connect to the Internet to get the match, he can just plug the laptop into the tv to watch it more comfortably on a bigger screen.
In any case, kids tv is on literally all day long. It isn't like when we were little and you only had cartoons for 90 minutes in the morning.

FrancisCrawford · 04/12/2016 07:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pictish · 04/12/2016 08:00

Hmm yeah...this has become quite the debate in our house just now because we can see how such a simple conflict of interests could cause aggravation.

hiccupgirl · 04/12/2016 08:02

YANBU

I would expect your DH to watch it on the laptop as I wouldn't trust a 3 yr old with it. But if he's then looking after the 3 yr old while watching MOTD so you can shower etc then that's not so bad.

Original poster
Mooey89 · 04/12/2016 08:03

Thank you all.
You are right.
I didn't say he was 'refusing to parent' by the way.

OP posts:
ThroughThickAndThin01 · 04/12/2016 08:03

If it's DP's must watch programme of the week YABU. If he's alway ps hogging the telly then you aren't.

A 3 yo doesn't trump an adult.

Crisscrosscranky · 04/12/2016 08:04

I wonder if my DH feels the same about me with Saturday kitchen? I expect him and DD to find something else to do for a few hours- yes, kids need parenting but given that your DP is an otherwise good stepdad I don't think it's unreasonable he gets telly to himself 90 minutes a week!

FiveGoMadInDorset · 04/12/2016 08:05

Why can't he watch it in Saturday night?

Pinksink · 04/12/2016 08:05

Whilst I can see it might be a little annoying I don't think your husband wanting to watch a programme about a sport that presumably he is a fan of and follows once a week is really unreasonable...

pictish · 04/12/2016 08:07

I'd just give him something else to do. I used to love the Brio wooden train stuff for preoccupation when mine were that age - it's easy for them to put together, fun and absorbing to play with and best of all, tidies up easily too.

Abetes · 04/12/2016 08:14

I'm with your husband - watching match of the day on Sunday morning seems quite reasonable to me. Your dd can look at books, play with toys or watch tv with your husband.

AnnekinShmanakin · 04/12/2016 08:17

Mooey I know it wasn't you saying he was refusing to parent - I was referring to some of the other posters who were making that suggestion, it was a total over reaction in my opinion and I don't think your DP is being selfish. As a parent of three I can see why it's frustrating for you not to have that toddler distraction early in the morning, I've been up since 7 and having the TV on for an hour has allowed me to have a leisurely cup of tea and browse on here for a while!

Chocoholicmonster · 04/12/2016 08:19

YABU. You say the TV will be taken up for hours because of MOTD - it's a 90 minute programme. The TV will be free again at 9am. An adult should have priority over a 3 year old. Why cant he be entertained with toys instead of dumped in front of a screen for an hour & a half every Sunday morning??

Spottytop1 · 04/12/2016 08:20

I have to say that if he watches his football on the laptop the rest of the week once a week watching it on TV is not an issue.

During that time surely something else could be done with your son and then in the afternoon everyone does housework, etc?

Dozer · 04/12/2016 08:21

It was me who wondered if he was refusing to parent (at least every sunday morning) because of it being every sunday and OP being interrupted by DS/feeling unable to do her exercise or whatever. Different if he attends to DS while watching MoTD.

Julius02 · 04/12/2016 08:23

I'm amazed that you think your DS has more right to watch his programme than your DH. It's an hour and a half - it'll be finished by 9! Relax and enjoy your day - this is not something to make such a big deal of...

BeingATinselTwatItsABingThing · 04/12/2016 08:32

Why does an adult get priority over a child? I have always hated that attitude. Both as a child and now as an adult.

supermoon100 · 04/12/2016 08:32

Op you are definitely not being unreasonable. The grown man who can control his emotions needs and desires far more easily than a 3 year old should definitely not come first. Of course if he was to completely look after 3 year old so you could have a chilled out morning then all good. I also hate this obsession with sport and accordingly brought up my sons to be chilled out about it. I know very few women who behave so obsessively about their tv viewing needs and yes even if one is addicted to something like poldark or downtown or whatever women are percieved to watch, it lasts only one hour tops. Not 90 bleedin minutes with all the post match bollox.

BoredOnMatLeave · 04/12/2016 08:32

OP tell him to watch it on Saturday night? Surely that's better as it will be completely child free too?

verytiredmummy1 · 04/12/2016 08:45

YANBU he needs to record it and watch it later. He's an adult!

whyohwhy000 · 04/12/2016 08:45

Isn't this why Virgin TiVo and Sky+ were invented?

Lewwat · 04/12/2016 08:50

Yes he's an adult.... Who apparently is supposed to have his TV time dictated by a 3yo. Hmm

pictish · 04/12/2016 08:55

Since when does being an adult mean deferring to a toddler over tv rights?
It doesn't.

HazelBite · 04/12/2016 08:59

Just get another TV, there are terrific offers around at the moment.
It really is the only way with a family and to stop resentments and arguments. No -one here is being more unreasonable than the other.
Watching TV on the laptop is not always great, there is no reason why you shouldn't all get to watch what you want, when you want.

DonaldStott · 04/12/2016 09:04

He's a tosspot. Yanbu. My dh would never expect to watch any kind of football when me and dd are in the house. If he wants to watch football, he goes the pub.

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