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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to think my DS is over punctuating? His teacher thinks not...

96 replies

schoolworkadviceds · 03/12/2016 23:35

This was his work.

"We left, to go to Thorpe Park, at 10 am. It was really fun, but very cold. Although it was cold, I didn't want to wear a jacket (it would have gotten in the way) but my mum kept nagging me. It was a bright, green one, though, how awful is that?"

It was written a couple of months ago.

His teacher says it was 'perfect'. It isn't though, is it? I'm obviously not going to say anything to DS. I am genuinely curious for myself! As I do often try and correct him with punctuation and I'm probably correcting him wrong! Blush

OP posts:
FastWindow · 03/12/2016 23:36

He does seem to have recently discovered commas :)

Original poster
schoolworkadviceds · 03/12/2016 23:38

I keep pausing in places that do not need to be paused at Grin why is his teacher encouraging this!!!

OP posts:
DailyMailSucksAss · 03/12/2016 23:40

How old is he?

IcanMooCanYou · 03/12/2016 23:40

Depends how old: 6 yrs old- it's 'perfect'. 10 yrs old: not so!

Lovewineandchocs · 03/12/2016 23:40

A tad too many commas-it's the word 'gotten' that stood out for me though!

Haffdonga · 03/12/2016 23:41

The comma between bright and green definitely seems superfluous. And he should have started a new sentence for his question. How awful is that?

How old is he? Seems good to me/

NoCapes · 03/12/2016 23:41

I too love a comma and probably overuse them, but yeah that really is a lot
How old is he?

CocktailQueen · 03/12/2016 23:42

First sentence is fine - he's used commas for a subordinate clause.

Second sentence is ok, but you could also delete the comma.

Third sentence, the comma is after a fronted adverbial so it's ok. (But why has he used 'gotten'?)

Fourth sentence, commas are wrong - no comma needed after 'bright', and the second comma is a comma splice - he should have used a dash instead.

What year is he in?. The NC is going quite mad for grammar at the moment.

Haffdonga · 03/12/2016 23:42

Yes - gotten ?! Are you American?

Original poster
schoolworkadviceds · 03/12/2016 23:42

He's 9

OP posts:
Original poster
schoolworkadviceds · 03/12/2016 23:45

Grin gotten Grin nope, not American. She didn't correct it though!

Yeah bright, green is Shock I think he forgot that the bright was for the green and not coat, so didn't need that comma.

OP posts:
DailyMailSucksAss · 03/12/2016 23:45

Ok then it should have been pointed out. Contact teacher?

TrishanFlips · 03/12/2016 23:51

It is good for 9 but there are too many commas.At least he is trying though and he seems to have a reasonable understanding of the use of commas. Just needs a little more restraint.

IMissGrannyW · 03/12/2016 23:52

I don't think you need to majorly stress.

Most parent of a 9 year old bemoan the fact they can't spell. Overuse of grammar would be like a dream, come, true for them.

Your child can learn that less is more.

I think he's doing really well. I wouldn't worry.

TheChristmasCardy · 03/12/2016 23:53

Actually, I think there should be an extra comma before the but. Grin

All the commas are technically correct, I would say - though I might go for a semi-colon before "how awful is that?"
You could undoubtedly lose some of them, but them being there does impart a slightly different meaning to the piece. The question is whether that is intentional or not, and whether your DS understands the nuance of the different meaning. A bright, green jacket is different to a bright green jacket. "We left, to go to the theme park, at 10 am" puts the emphasis on leaving, with the destination being almost an aside, whereas "We left to go to the theme park" emphasizes the destination.
I would say it is a question of style rather than accuracy of grammar, but I would point out to him that putting in commas can change what is important in his sentence, and subtly change the meaning.

semideponent · 03/12/2016 23:56

Here's how I (proofreader) would punctuate it:

"We left to go to Thorpe Park at 10 am. It was really fun but very cold. Although it was cold, I didn't want to wear a jacket (it would have gotten in the way) but my mum kept nagging me. It was a bright green one, though. How awful is that?"

There's no need for a subordinate clause in the first sentence. My English teacher of yore was very strict about conjunctions - they don't need commas precisely because their function is to join things, not to separate them.

Crispbutty · 03/12/2016 23:58

I read it in Gordon Ramsey's voice in my head, he over punctuates whenever he speaks.

stonecircle · 04/12/2016 00:00

I agree totally with semideponent - spot on.

But I wouldn't use 'gotten'!

TrishanFlips · 04/12/2016 00:06

Semi - "It was a bright green one, though."

should be "It was a bright green one though."
?

user1477282676 · 04/12/2016 00:06

Totally, over, punctuated! Grin

user1477282676 · 04/12/2016 00:07

Trishan that's right. No need for Semi's comma there.

Oakmaiden · 04/12/2016 00:07

Some conjunctions do need commas - "but" is one of them. Because it is a coordinating conjunction.

He has clearly put the comma between bright and green as he thinks he is listing descriptions. The only one I disagree with is the one before "How awful is that?" - but I can see why he felt the need for some sort of punctuation there and I suspect a 9 year old might have trouble choosing what else to use if he didn't want to use a full stop.

user1471545174 · 04/12/2016 00:07

Have done same job as semideponent and I agree too (and dislike gotten).

MommaGee · 04/12/2016 00:11

Can you get him to read his writing put loud, pausing at comma's? Might help him to see where they go and when he's using them superfluously

LucyBabs · 04/12/2016 00:12

Nowt wrong with "gotten" Wink us Irish love gotten and get.. "can I get a coffee please"

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