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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Etiquette for sex

57 replies

BedtimeBubble · 03/12/2016 14:40

This morning dd was not in our bed when we woke up, which is a rare occurrence. Half way through foreplay we hear her get up and she climbs in and goes back to sleep. We decamp to her room (where there is a spare bed) but she wakes again five minutes later. I laid with her for twenty minutes but it's now 7am so I know she's unlikely to get back to sleep. We gave her the tablet and she watched Mickey Mouse, we pulled both doors too and finished what we started. I think she was watching it for ten minutes and was none the wiser when we returned. FYI she's always been transfixed by TV and tablets so usually only watches things one the 2 or 3 times a week.

Is this acceptable? Dd is three years old. We normally wait until she is in bed asleep or napping, but tmi I've just finished my period and we are away with my parents for the next few nights so once we'd started we didn't want to wait. I've name changed by the way as don't want this linked to my normal user name in case it turns out that I am unreasonable.

OP posts:
drinkingchanelno5 · 03/12/2016 14:56

I don't understand what you think isn't acceptable about this.

BedtimeBubble · 03/12/2016 14:58

We've never had sex when she was awake, and also don't tend to leave her unsupervised.

OP posts:
BooFuckingHoo · 03/12/2016 15:01

I'm assuming she couldn't see or hear you and was occupied with the ipad so I'm not really sure what the issue would be?

EatTheCake · 03/12/2016 15:04

In 3 years you've never had sex when the child is awake, do you have an awesome sleeper?

Seriously if I waited until my DC were always asleep I'd never get near my DH!

4 DC here and have always left them with tv/colouring etc and i don't see an issue with that, they can't hear or see us having sex and are happy with the tv for 1/2 hour

Notso · 03/12/2016 15:04

I don't think there's anything U at all. I also don't class in another room doing a safe activity as unsupervised.

However, this being Mumsnet I'm sure somebody will be along who thinks differently.

Sparlklesilverglitter · 03/12/2016 15:07

I don't think you've done anything unreasonable.

Your child was happily watching tv probably didn't even notice you wasn't in the room.

BertieBotts · 03/12/2016 15:10

Perfectly normal. Shag away Grin

Allthewaves · 03/12/2016 15:12

Count yourself lucky. My dc won't leave us alone for longer than 10mins

babyblabber · 03/12/2016 15:12

I have to go against the grain and say I think this is quite bad! I would never dream of having sex when the kids are up. Was the door locked? What if she needed a wee/drink/anything and came looking for you? Are you certain you'd hear her coming?

Branleuse · 03/12/2016 15:13

i think thats fine. As long as theyre not in the same room and cant hear or see you, then youre good to go

Pinkheart5915 · 03/12/2016 15:14

I don't think you've done anything wrong Unreasonable OP!

Enjoy Xmas Wink

Soubriquet · 03/12/2016 15:15

Sounds like you made the best of your oppurtunity

Good for you

WatchingFromTheWings · 03/12/2016 15:15

YADNBU!

JustAnotherPoster00 · 03/12/2016 15:15

Place marking cos I'm waiting for the pearl clutchers to get here Grin

PurpleTraitor · 03/12/2016 15:15

Could you hear her coming? If yes, then you're OK.

Could she hear you coming? If yes, then you're not.

MistresssIggi · 03/12/2016 15:17

Stealth boast?

Justaboy · 03/12/2016 15:21

A while ago for me now since they were that age but i seem to remember we grabbed whatever nookie we could whenever and wherever we could;!

So no, YANBU

MillionToOneChances · 03/12/2016 15:21

*Could you hear her coming? If yes, then you're OK.

Could she hear you coming? If yes, then you're not.*

Gold.

humphreyandlinnea · 03/12/2016 15:25

YANBU

I can't see why there could be a problem with this. You'd stop if she approached your room. Three year olds don't need to have someone with them in the room at all times. If they did, why would they have been fitted with such a loud alarm system?

228agreenend · 03/12/2016 15:25

Purple traitor - your reply is brill, definitely one of the best all year. It made me chuckle.

Soubriquet · 03/12/2016 15:26

Purple
ShockGrin

Lorelei76 · 03/12/2016 15:39

It took me a few reads to understand this!! In case anyone else has the same problem, your question is, is it okay to have sex when no children can see?
I'm going with yes. In fact I'd highly recommend doing it where children can't see!!

But is that really the question?!

ShelaghTurner · 03/12/2016 15:58

Purple GrinGrin

MerryMarigold · 03/12/2016 15:58

I assume you've been out of the room when your 3yo (not 3 month old) watches TV, plays with a toy, or does something else. Do you not cook? I think she can be fine for 15-30 mins 'unsupervised'.

iwantaperfectsoul · 03/12/2016 16:02

Good god, surely this is what tablets are invented for?

If it weren't for this sort of scenario we would have an only child.