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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Toddler left alone in supermarket carpark

59 replies

elasticated17 · 03/12/2016 00:36

Something really odd just happened to me - pulled up next to car in supermarket carpark - saw the car next to me with the window down a little bit. There was a young boy with a dummy - between 2-3 years old left in the back of the car. The boy looked fine, not upset and the car was clean but AIBU to think that its completely irresponsible. The car was parked about 30 metres from the storefront and I stayed for a while to see if parents were perhaps just dropping the trolley off but they weren't. I reported to customer service and then when I got back to my car half hour later it was gone. I'm not usually one to get involved but it didn't sit well with me.

OP posts:

TowerRavenSeven · 03/12/2016 00:43

Yanbu. It fries me that I could care more about some random child than it's own parents. More than once I've waited unobtrusively near babies that their parents left them in stores alone to dash about. I don't care how fast you think you will be, in more than one occasion I could have absconded with a baby very easily had I wanted to! WTH?

Alexandriaaaa · 03/12/2016 00:47

It's just lazy. "Can't be arsed wrestling toddler out and then back into car seat so I'll just leave him, I'll only be two minutes..."

Their call, but I wouldn't do it myself. I even fen tske toddler DD to the ATM or to pay for petrol on the rare occasion I can't get to pay at the pump. I think she wouldn't be frightened if I went off and left her.

Alexandriaaaa · 03/12/2016 00:48

*i even take

*would be frightened

Amelie10 · 03/12/2016 00:51

It's just lazy. "Can't be arsed wrestling toddler out and then back into car seat so I'll just leave him, I'll only be two minutes..."

This. Anything could happen in the two minutes and then there'll be tears about how it's someone else's fault.

JenLindleyShitMom · 03/12/2016 00:53

I hate this.

I called the police once when I found a baby left alone in a car. Mum came dawdling back about 15 minutes after I arrived and could t understand the issue.

CalleighDoodle · 03/12/2016 00:59

My 6 yr old daughter spotted a toddler alone in a van in a high street sainsburys carpark last night. Totally out of view of the store. We waited until the dad came back. We didnt say anything though.

CrazyCavalierLady · 03/12/2016 01:34

It's illegal to leave a child alone in a car in Australia. Times and ages vary per state so some allow for you to pay for fuel, some don't. Children have died in cars here with the heat. The cold would be no different.

DixieWishbone · 03/12/2016 01:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

malmi · 03/12/2016 01:43

The actual risk level is low, assuming normal levels of heat. Not much can happen to a child strapped in in a locked car. Comparable to the risk of an injurious accident occurring in the store or car park, really.

thecrowabby · 03/12/2016 03:04

I have to have at least one hand on DS buggy at all times when we're out, the thought of going off and just leaving him on his own actually makes me feel sick

JoandMax · 03/12/2016 03:26

I think I'd be more worried by a toddler left alone in a car than a baby, at least the baby can't get out their seat! Both completely unacceptable though....

What age do you think is ok though to leave them in the car while you pop into a shop for 10 minutes?

Original poster

elasticated17 · 03/12/2016 06:30

I'm in NZ and its summer. Today it was so hot that we were swimming outside so leaving a wee one in a car with the window open only a little bit when there is no breeze outside was very strange. Obviously no harm was done but still I wouldn't do it.

OP posts:

Ahickiefromkinickie · 03/12/2016 06:34

Yikes, I would have called the police. Cars get very hot quite quickly in summer.

Ohbehave1 · 03/12/2016 06:47

Alexandriaa. You take you child out of the car to pay for petrol as "she would get scared"!!

What a crazy thing to do. So you take her out into an environment which is full of dangerous fumes, have to cross a busy area with cars in it, and then you have to faff about putting her back in. Bet you are popular.

In 99.9% of garages you can see you can all the way to and from the till to the car.

Of course you wouldn't leave her if you were going into a supermarket but for fuel?

Sounds like another snowflake being raised to me.

Wifflewaffles · 03/12/2016 07:06

Maybe call the police if you see a baby/toddler left alone in a car. It might make people think twice about leaving them. Anything could happen. Another car could crash into them, or a fire could start up, they could choke, they might escape.

It's such a grey area though, at what age it might be ok etc.

GoodyGoodyGumdrops · 03/12/2016 08:12

I see nothing wrong with it.

NotSayingImBatman · 03/12/2016 08:28

The fact that you're in NZ and it's boiling hot might have been pertinent information to tell everyone in the first place.

SouthofMaui · 03/12/2016 08:29

Well, some people think nothing of leaving a baby unattended in a pram, so there you.

In a warm country, the child can die, so it's more than reasonable to call the police. In the UK, where it's freezing at the moment, it might be a different problem but still unacceptable. I saw one the other day, left alone in the car, and the alarm went off! The poor thing looked terrified, so I was trying to reassure him and find someone to run to the store to call the owner of the car, when the mother finally turned up with bags, so she must have been awhile.

I leave my kids at petrol station if I can't pay at the pump, but so far I have always managed to park in front of the store to pay, so I can see them better, and they can see me.

GravyAndShite · 03/12/2016 08:29

I think it is threads like this that actually raise anxiety in parenting and make it more difficult.

I CM and the rules are very clear - no children left unattended at any times. Fine. That is my job and I accept that as the T&Cs.

However, MY dc, MY responsibility. I personally think that the supermarket is too far to go, for me and my child.

Parked outside a store where I can see my car - I have no issue leaving MY dc. Paying for fuel at a busy time - I actively discourage dc from leaving the car with me.

I don't know why you told customer service. Either report a crime to the police, report neglect to social services or keep out of their business.

PotteringAlong · 03/12/2016 08:31

I'm in NZ and its summer.

That's a heck of a drip feed!

Salmotrutta · 03/12/2016 08:32

What NotSaying said up there!

If it was very hot and they were more than just nipping in and out for a minute then they shouldn't have left him.

InfiniteSheldon · 03/12/2016 08:36

I was in a tile shop a few years ago and there was an almighty crash outside, turns out bloke in front of me had left two kids in his car one had got out of the seat managed to somehow release handbrake. Car had rolled back into road! Luckily both kids were ok, van wasn't and I'm betting his wife had a few words.

SouthofMaui · 03/12/2016 08:38

hreads like this that actually raise anxiety in parenting and make it more difficult.

I couldn't disagree more, I think it might help remind some people with no common sense that some things are not acceptable, because they are dangerous!
Some parents think nothing of leaving their young kids at home when they go out, so things that need obvious to most people do need to be told.

GravyAndShite · 03/12/2016 08:41

SouthofMaui I do agree to an extent, but if you are on a parenting forum I (rightly or wrongly) assume you are switched on to your responsibilities.

I wouldn't leave my children in the house alone, but equally I wouldn't judge someone who does.

witsender · 03/12/2016 08:44

So much depends on the kids. I will happily leave mine (6 and 4) in the car to pay for fuel if there isn't pay at pump, get cash out, run into post office etc. I will also leave them in the car at Aldis on occasion, if i can park right in front and see how long the queue is before I go in, see them from the queue etc. But only because I know my kids, they will listen to audio books, chat and not climb around the car. I wouldn't do it for a full shop, but more a 'run out of coffee' one. They have the option to come with me but normally opt to stay with their stories.

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