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AIBU?

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Original poster

This head is spot on

122 replies

Thefishewife · 02/12/2016 15:53

Give this head a prize she has nailed it I abore when people moan about what the school or the government will do to improve children's life chances
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3994048/They-ll-wearing-dunces-hats-Primary-school-GRADES-parents-D-supporting-children-worst-performers-called-head-s-office.html
When the bottom line really is if we're all honest childrens life chances are linked almost exclusively to how Invloved there parents are in there education and how much they value it

You can be poor
Working full time
Of speak no English

But still highly value education

Some parents simply don't give two hoots won't have a book in there home won't turn up to anything and don't support the school with there child's behaviour

Won't get there kids to school on time or even pick them up on time blame then are shocked when there children fail I am not very well educated myself my spelling is awful however I have always taken my sons education seriously and it has bore fruit my lad done very well at GCSE and is now working PT and is in collage doing a level 3 engeerining course

My sons form tutor once told me that some of the parents send there 6th former siblings in Lu of them in on parents evening 🙁 Or even worse that she had serval students who, she never meet the parents ever not in 5 years couldn't tell you what they looked like and would never ring her back if she left a message 😳

It's about time some parents were called out instead of being allowed to blame the school of the govermnet for there lack of invloment

The link between parental involvement and a child doing well is proven and well documented

OP posts:
corythatwas · 02/12/2016 17:36

Want2bSupermum, doesn't matter how much you do for your dc's education: this HT would have you graded on exactly those things you are not able to do. So let's all commend that then.

And I'm wondering the same as Rhonda. HT's tend to be busy people. What is her own track record? Or are her children all grown up and she can conveniently forget about all the times she didn't make it?

dailymaillazyjournos · 02/12/2016 17:41

It's a ridiculous idea. Parents can value education but not be able to be as involved as they'd like for many reasons. And yes, some parents don't give a shit, but grading them won't make any difference imo.

Want2bSupermum · 02/12/2016 17:44

Cory I agree the delivery of this is awful but I think this HT probably started out with a framework of 'this is what is expected' and no one paid any attention. Now this HT is grading parents. My whole attitude towards grading is that it must always be against a set of expectations (a matrix if you will). I think many parents have no idea what is expected of them, I certainly didn't! Education has changed significantly from when I was at school and my parents raised us with the benign neglect style of parenting.

limitedperiodonly · 02/12/2016 17:44

This OP always gets a hammering whenever she starts a thread I've noticed.

And how do you feel about that NavyandWhite?

Want2bSupermum · 02/12/2016 17:47

also the HT's schedule and her attainment as a parent is irrelevant to me as a parent. I do look for my DC's teachers for guidance on what I should be doing with my DC at home. Both teachers are great at this and I do as I am told. They are the professional not me. So far I have been teaching one child for 5 years, another for 3 and a third for 7 months. This is nothing compared to the experience and education that a teacher has.

Soubriquet · 02/12/2016 17:47

Hmm I don't like it at all

The parents who don't give a shit about their children's education, is not going to be bothered by a bollocking from a teacher either

WouldHave · 02/12/2016 17:50

This OP always gets a hammering whenever she starts a thread I've noticed.

Which tends to be because she has some very rigid views on parenting and discipline.

Rockpebblestone · 02/12/2016 17:51

Perhaps instead of trying to get parents to bridge the attainment gap, at home, schools should concentrate on making educational provision cater to the needs of those disadvantaged children more successfully?

If teachers stopped attempting to delegate, a large majority of the teaching the curriculum, to parents, in terms of setting large amounts of homework, those whose parents could not support this adequately, would not be at such a disadvantage.

WouldHave · 02/12/2016 17:55

Where this school is going wrong is putting this into a grading structure and making it a rigid system. I suspect that every teacher knows which are the unsupportive parents in their class and that they and the school have similar systems in place to try to communicate with them and help things to improve in the interests of their children. But the grading system is just absurd.

What would worry me particularly about this is the situation of children with SN. It is frighteningly common for schools to dismiss parents who are worried about possible learning difficulties as over-fussy or even having Munchhausen's by Proxy. It is also very very common for them to say that problems are down to inadequate parenting. If that translates into such parents being lumped into the D category, it is going to reinforce the school in not doing anything about the child's difficulties and demonise parents who already have more than enough on their plates.

limitedperiodonly · 02/12/2016 18:00

Which tends to be because she has some very rigid views on parenting and discipline.

That's very unfair WouldHave. The OP does her schtick on a range of subjects.

Trifleorbust · 02/12/2016 18:01

If teachers stopped attempting to delegate, a large majority of the teaching the curriculum, to parents, in terms of setting large amounts of homework, those whose parents could not support this adequately, would not be at such a disadvantage.

That just doesn't happen. Homework is usually about consolidation and extension of learning beyond what is covered as essential content in the classroom.

Rockpebblestone · 02/12/2016 18:10

Trifle, I beg to differ. I have had first hand experience of this. Thankfully I have a degree in English and education, specialising in Early years, so was qualified to do this.

It is especially systemic within 'provision' for SEN, with even IEPs or Provision maps commonly detailing supporting tasks to be done at home. This is when the purposes of such documentation should be to provide evidence showing how a child's individual funding has been spent. Parents are not a free resource to be utilised by a school and their support should not be detailed in the same way funded provision is.

JenLindleyShitMom · 02/12/2016 18:10

Sounds like a school that has a real problem with parental engagement and have taken drastic action to tackle it.

WouldHave · 02/12/2016 18:11

Sure she does, limited, but on parenting and discipline her views are really all one way.

Trifleorbust · 02/12/2016 18:17

Rockpebblestone: I certainly don't mean to argue with your experience. It doesn't happen in my school, nor has it happened in any school I've worked in, excepting in cases where the child cannot or refuses to attend school.

FATEdestiny · 02/12/2016 18:22

For anyone who doesn't like the Daily Mail, they nicked this story from The Nottingham Post:

m.nottinghampost.com/nottinghamshire-school-ranks-parents-on-how-well-they-support-their-children-s-education/story-29949901-detail/story.html

Rockpebblestone · 02/12/2016 18:22

Well we have differing experiences Trifle. Just because you have not had experience of it does not mean it doesn't happen.

abbsisspartacus · 02/12/2016 18:27

Git partway through the bowl of tripe before I gave up
The role parents pay in their Childs education is "massive" fuck me really? I thought the teachers teach and I support?

Trifleorbust · 02/12/2016 18:28

Rockpebblestone: That's what I said. But likewise, just because something has happened in your experience doesn't mean it's widespread.

In any case, an IEP is about any strategies used to help a child to access education, not just about explaining where funding has gone. It may be the case for any individual child that significant support at home is what is going to help them most - this should obviously be agreed with parents and not imposed where it's not appropriate.

It isn't the same as saying that teachers in general try to delegate teaching to parents. That isn't a justifiable comment imo.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 02/12/2016 18:30

Often its not about not giving a shit. Sometimes there are genuine reasons not excuses.
Eg Depression, time factor.

You can't compare a SAHM married to a banker to a depressed single mum living in a hostel or working full time. Where often parent abd child dont get in until 7pm. That's a fact. Not a dig.
Before judgement is past we need to be mindful of the fact that not everyone's circumstances are the same.

limitedperiodonly · 02/12/2016 18:31

Sure she does, limited, but on parenting and discipline her views are really all one way.

I'm not arguing with you WouldHave, just pointing out that this poster's views on everything are all one way.

Theoretician · 02/12/2016 18:32

I like that head's style. Don't think I would have the balls to try and get parents to up their game.

nancy75 · 02/12/2016 18:34

I blame poor educational achievement on parents that don't know if they should use there or their.

SuburbanRhonda · 02/12/2016 18:38

also the HT's schedule and her attainment as a parent is irrelevant to me as a parent.

I think it's entirely relevant if she's naming and shaming parents by a standard she cannot attain herself.

Rockpebblestone · 02/12/2016 18:53

Trifle

But likewise, just because something has happened in your experience doesn't mean it's widespread.

Ah, here we are, trying to negate the relevance of the experience I referenced, and hint that it is not representative. Just because it shows teachers and schools may not be acting wholly with integrity. I have had too much experience of that kind of tactic, I'm afraid not to notice it. Maybe you should read some of the SEN boards on here to get some idea of some of the tactics schools use in order to justify failing to cater adequately for children's SENs?

On here, I have often read about teachers sending work home, for primary children with additional needs to do, when they were unable to finish at school, with 1 to 1 TA support they are funded to receive at school. At home, it turns out, the work has not been set with any differentiation or reference to a child's known additional needs. What is that, other than expecting a parent to teach?

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