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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask the school... WTF

458 replies

bookeatingboy · 01/12/2016 22:55

DS came home yesterday with a payment card for his first residential trip next year. The cards were blue and apparently all the girls got pink cards!

Some of the girls asked for blue cards and were told that blue is for the boys and pink for the girls Confused

OP posts:
WouldHave · 04/12/2016 15:55

I think it is almost crippling them that they can't even do a colour-coded payment card without being pulled up and judged as symbolically supporting such terrible issues as domestic violence.

How will a school be crippled if it uses non-gendered colour coded cards? I really can't understand why they need colour coding at all as they must be perfectly well aware of the genders of the respective pupils, so if anything just having white cards for everyone will make their lives easier.

yellowpostitnote · 04/12/2016 15:55

I do get that view gravy, I really do. Esp that it gives some more ammunition.

And I think a friendly query about it to the school is reasonable. Simply to set the example as there's such a very long way to go.

Because I know my school would not do that and would be embarrassed to have had it pointed out, in a similar way to how our head was embarrassed that the school newsletter went out with spelling mistakes.

yellowpostitnote · 04/12/2016 15:56

(She was pretty cross!)

yellowpostitnote · 04/12/2016 15:59

And I hold my hand up to admit that I wrapped a girls party present in pink paper and the boy who had a party on the same day had different paper. Because I knew that little girl was very into pink. The present was gender neutral (imo!) But I wouldn't do it at school.

MysticTwat · 04/12/2016 16:01

I joined the thread quite late, and was answering bliss's post. I don't think I or the OPERA has advocated a 'tantrum.
I would question it.

Also I wonder what world we'd live in if everybody everywhere merely shrugged, and said "hey it'll all pan out".

Resting on your laurels is good.

If you don't have the time or inclination to question something or event's. That's fine but not sure why you would be upset with people who do.

MysticTwat · 04/12/2016 16:03

Op not opera!ConfusedGrin

MysticTwat · 04/12/2016 16:05

And *isn't good Grin

GravyAndShite · 04/12/2016 16:12

The OP wants to ask "what the fuck?", which is quite confrontational in my opinion.

Asking 'why have you done this?' with an open mind ready to receive whatever answer is given before making assumptions about the schools motivations and judging them before they've had a chance to explain is unreasonable.

WTF might just be a figure of speech but if we are to be pedantic about our speech and what it means then we must be very careful in all areas and not just the ones we are interested in.

I really hope I'm demonstrating my point. This is not a major issue, it's quiet, nonjudgemental, inquisitive conversation territory. I'm afraid that we going colours of paper to domestic violence doesn't help the cause because you're speaking to people who haven't studied these things in the depth and you just sound like crazy people.

It's like trying to teach calculus to preschoolers. You need to start by teaching them how to count.

GravyAndShite · 04/12/2016 16:14

Ugh not unreasonable Blush

GravyAndShite · 04/12/2016 16:14

We going = linking Hmm

GravyAndShite · 04/12/2016 16:19

How will a school be crippled if it uses non-gendered colour coded cards?

The assumption is that the gender colour cards have a purpose and are to be used to identify which dorms or full (e.g. 20 pink cards - 20 bed available in female dorms, same for blue and male.)

When I said crippling, what I meant is that the school will be scared to do anything for fear that it will obscurely link them to advocating something as terrible as domestic violence. They used pink and blue card and applied the same code that is used to new baby gifts etc. That was their only 'crime'.

mumofone1234 · 04/12/2016 16:51

Am I the only one finding it very strange that all the ones claiming that there are far bigger things to worry about etc etc are hanging around posting on the thread and clearly don't even know what the words 'gender' or 'stereotyping' mean Confused (please at least Google before arguing about things you know nothing about while passive- aggressively belittling the people who do actually care about these issues and the wider implicationsAngry).

It's always the same on these feminism-type threads- insulting put-downs masked as benign comments. Yes, we get it.... you don't give a shit...now bugger off and post on a thread you DO give a shit about.

GravyAndShite · 04/12/2016 16:58

mumofone1234 why on earth would you invite the people you are trying to educate to bugger off? Hmm

Surferbabe · 04/12/2016 17:04

"They used pink and blue card and applied the same code that is used to new baby gifts etc. " Sorry but if a school is not able to comprehend and reflect on the concept of equality and sexism, then leadership is probably not too effective. They haven't committed a crime but should be open to feedback especially when it concerns gender stereotyping, which is harmful for girls as well as for boys.

BertrandRussell · 04/12/2016 17:07

"mumofone1234 why on earth would you invite the people you are trying to educate to bugger off? hmm"

Maybe because she's a bit pissed off with all the mockery and insults anyone who shows the slightest level of concern about this sort of thing always gets- and has got on this thread?

GravyAndShite · 04/12/2016 17:08

Feed back, yes.
"What the fuck?!" No.

Ultimately I agree with what you are all saying, I just think you can get so entrenched in a cause that you can't see the wood for the trees.

WouldHave · 04/12/2016 17:13

The assumption is that the gender colour cards have a purpose and are to be used to identify which dorms or full (e.g. 20 pink cards - 20 bed available in female dorms, same for blue and male.)

But this is completely irrational. If staff for some reason don't know the gender of the pupils going on the trip, schools have computers that can do these things a hell of a lot more quickly and easily than painstakingly issuing cards, chasing their return, stacking them up and counting them.

GravyAndShite · 04/12/2016 17:16

Ah, I know. If only they had all they clever mumsnetter in their offices the world would be a better place. Grin
But alas, they have to make do with mere mortals!

Sparklingbrook · 04/12/2016 17:16

I am really looking forward to the school's explanation now. I am wondering if it's something we haven't thought of yet.

JacquesHammer · 04/12/2016 17:24

My DD is going on residential - has been on two previously. We have paid online and the letters come home on white.

All dorms allocated successfully by the teachers. I'd be rather concerned if a teacher needed colour coding to help allocate sleeping arrangements

yellowpostitnote · 04/12/2016 17:27

As I said down thread, is bet it's admin staff.

NotYoda · 04/12/2016 17:58

Gravy

I agree.

Several times when I've stated my case - a pragmatic one similar to your own, a hyperbolic response along the lines of me not caring about sexual sterotyping , or me believing that everything in the world is just great has come back.

These Extremes don't convince anyone. In fact they alienate.

NotYoda · 04/12/2016 18:03

mumofone

Good example of what I'm saying, in your post. All of us who disagree are mocking, or ignorant? I' ve been strenuously polite

NotYoda · 04/12/2016 18:06

Sparklingbrook

I've PMd you

GravyAndShite · 05/12/2016 08:26

Maybe because she's a bit pissed off with all the mockery and insults anyone who shows the slightest level of concern about this sort of thing always gets- and has got on this thread?

Maybe she needs to grow up behave like the self assured strong woman she is advocating we all can be.

You can't fight for a cause without some resistance. Many women throughout the ages have suffered greatly to move the cause forward but a SMIDGE of disagreement online and she's sending away the very people she should educate and convince.

She's doing more harm than good.