To ask how much your dh does?

[Zaratall]

Pretty much just wondering what's normal.

What does your dh do in the evening/weekends in terms of childcare and household stuff.

Whether one or both of you work.

Is one/both of you messy?

I'm at home atm but have an absolute whirlwind of a toddler.

Dh (I feel) leaves mess and crap everywhere and my days are spent picking up Everton's shit.

Oh yes, and mine does every morning shift with the DC before work (7-9.30am) because I LOVE my sleep

Dh works mon-fri out of the house 7.30-4.30 term time only. I work 4 days out of seven on a shift pattern (leave 6.30am on earliest, home 11.30pm on lates) year round. Two dc (2 and 4).

Both dh and I do equal amounts of
*dropping and collecting dc from childminders
*being on duty on days off when the other is at work
*baths and bedtimes
*kids meals, snacks
*Dds homework supervision
*activities and days out
*laundry
*dishes
*hoovering and mopping
*tidying
*d.i.y

Dh does more
*cat based tasks
*bins
*food shopping

I do more
*bed changes
*bathroom cleaning
*cooking

His bad habits round the house are
*dumping his shit on the dining table
*piling clean and dirty laundry into the same basket
*emptying the bin then not putting the fresh bag in
*shoes in the middle of the floor

My worst habits are
*letting the petrol run down low in the car
*tidying paperwork away to God knows where
*putting something essential into the wash and forgetting so it comes to bedtime and it's still wet

So pretty even!!!

Husbands can be annoying yes but so can us wives.

I guess based on this thread you can deduct that husbands doing fuck all is quite normal. At least not unusual. If that's also fair, that's another question. I just know that when I was working full time and DH was a SAHD, I didn't consider it fair to come home, spread crap everywhere and expect to be waited on

But if someone's been at work all day they're not 'doing fuck all' they're providing for their family.
On days I'm home with toddler I get plenty of perks... time to socialise with other mums, fun trips to farms/zoo/cafes, a daily 2-hour break while he naps, chance to sit down with a cup of tea (and MN) while he plays at home. It's very different to working outside the home!
When DH gets home I feel he has a right to sit down and relax, have a hot meal and not have his evening filled with chores. I have all day to get chores done, while he is in a high-stress environment trying to meet deadlines and handle teams of people, then faced with a long commute. Evenings and weekends are the only chance he gets to relax.

Oops forgot he makes the beds

Nothing, doesn't even pick up after himself.

DH works 40-50 hours a week plus commutes, I work 30 hours a week at home. I do pretty much everything during the week, but no one gets waited on in this house- everyone picks up after themselves. DH cooks and does bedtimes at weekends. It works out pretty well for us.

DH has his own business and I work FT. We have DS who is 3.5 and I am pregnant.

DH does bins, cooks for DS in the week and will batch cook one meal a week. He cleans, does the dishwasher, hoovering, all cat related duties, and bathes DS most nights

I do all laundry, changing of beds, most cooking + food planning/shopping, sorting out DS in in the morning, house admin like bills and new clothes/school stuff for DS, all present buying and wrapping, nanny payments and payroll.

We both deal with the school SENCO equally for DS and tend to tidy in equal measure.

I expect I'll do more of DH's stuff when I go on maternity again, when DC2 is out of the extreme 'need mummy' phase.

We both work full-time. In the morning he changes DS diaper and gets him dressed while I make breakfast. Then he takes him to daycare as i leave first for work. In the evening I mostly cook during the week as first to arrive, but if haven't managed to start he'll either take over DS or take over cooking. He cleans the kitchen mostly after we eat, as I never do it to his standards . Putting DS to sleep we take in turns. Other tasks I would say we share (or if I am being honest, he does more of). I would say I have it pretty good .

All these dh's who work so hard 'providing for their family' - I provide for my family. Full time work no less. I don't see it as reason to act like a lazy entitled dick with a servant to pick up after me.

Anyway, dh and I genuinely split everything 50/50. That includes all the thinking that goes into running a house with children.

But if someone's been at work all day they're not 'doing fuck all' they're providing for their family. On days I'm home with toddler I get plenty of perks. /.../It's very different to working outside the home!

Yes one person does their hours outside of home, the other one at home. Of course it's also not fair if the one at home gets nothing done around the house in their hours, but I don't think it's fair if one works 8/10/12 hours, but the other 24/7. If there's things to be done after the out of house work day is over, those should be shared.

And I have to agree that working outside os very different, I actually get to have a cup of coffee in peace and go to toilet without DC demanding that I get out right now and search for the orange train. It's more relaxing than weekends, and I'm in a high level management job. Unless you're in air traffic control or something, working is really not that bad.

He works FT, leaves around 8am back before 6pm. I work PT two days a week. He cooks dinner every night, takes bins out, does dishwasher most days, does the online food shop and gets any extras from supermarket in week. I do washing, ironing and most of the cleaning plus nursery drop off and collect. We both equally do our share with getting up first with DD, baths and bedtime. At weekends he will often Hoover or clean bathroom and kitchen if it needs it.

I think we are very balanced and work well together to get things done. No resentment. Whilst it seems ridiculous in this day and age to feel fortunate to have a partner that treats me like an equal and behaves like a normal adult, I do feel lucky because I have many friends who put up with the most outrageous laziness from their partners when it comes to household stuff and parenting.

Next to fuck all, unless there's a Facebook proud daddy opportunity in there somewhere. Or on the rare occasion he actually has to, he does such a bad job that he doesn't get asked again. I've made my bed I suppose...

He sorts all the bills too. It's all direct debit so just comes from his account but he sorts insurance renewals etc. I sort health appointments etc.

I

DH empties the dishwasher a few times a weeks, stops by shop couple times a week, sorts household bills, washes cars/cuts grass a few times a year (as do i )and takes DS to sport activities once or twice a week. He prepares about one lunch a fortnight and about 4 simple dinners a YEAR. Can't think of any other chores he does! I do all the meal planning, shopping, cooking, tidying, cleaning, laundry, ironing, DDs 4 activities a week, packed lunches, gardening and pets. DH works 40 hours per week. I do 30 but am reducing this back to 20 as I can't cope with all of the above. I would be happy to work full time if DH did anywhere near 50% of the chores. Doing it all makes me miserable at times but he just doesn't seem to see the problem. He is a good dad with the kids though.

DH gets up every other morning with DD and gives her breakfast. He also has her on Monday afternoons when I'm at work, and does the bath and bed routine when I go to my choir rehearsals. He does all the cooking and I do virtually all the cleaning and laundry. All in all I'm pretty happy with our division of labour.

The "provider" wouldn't be able to do his providing if the SAHP wasn't looking after his children, for free, to enable him to work outside the home.

DH works, I'm unemployed currently a SAHM. He cooks dinner every night, keeps the kitchen tidy and plans all our meals ahead. I do all the cleaning and laundry. He cleans if I ask him to, but otherwise I don't think it would ever occur to him...

On weekends he makes all of our meals. He is terrible at remembering DDs routine, like brushing her teeth, when to give her a snack and so forth.

I'm on mat leave at the moment and dh cleans the bathroom and empties the bins/recycling. He'll also do whatever I ask... cook, put washing on. He'll also put ds to bed and bath etc if I ask him to but I quite like doing it. I also quite enjoy cooking and cleaning up after. He's not so good at doing stuff off his own back but will do it no questions if I asked

We both work ft but with different 'fixed' hours. I am quite messy, he is quite lazy...

He does: Weekdays: getting the dc up washed dressed fed and the school run. I'm already at work before they even get up!

He cooks dinner most nights or brings something home from work (chef).

We both clean but I probably do more.

I do all school pick ups and we both take the dc to their respective sport clubs.

I do all the family admin and food shopping, take care of the animals, do the homework, vaguely supervise bathtime and do all the fecking laundry which I hate! I also do the car maintenance...

I'm not sure we are really 50/50 but it works for us.

DH does most wrap around pick ups when not away from work, washing up, cleans out the animals )when he hoovers living room) does all childcare when I'm out, takes DS out during my sat morning (he has sun morning). Does the gardening. I work longer hours but have one day a week off. I do the shopping and the cleaning. I do DS homework and medical appointments (quite a lot). We do each other's jobs if the other person is unable. He mentions what he does more than me!