To ask how much your dh does?

[Zaratall]

Pretty much just wondering what's normal.

What does your dh do in the evening/weekends in terms of childcare and household stuff.

Whether one or both of you work.

Is one/both of you messy?

I'm at home atm but have an absolute whirlwind of a toddler.

Dh (I feel) leaves mess and crap everywhere and my days are spent picking up Everton's shit.

We both work full time.

I do pretty much everything, although DP does cook sometimes.

I don't really care though. The housework doesn't really take that long.

As an aside, it always surprises me when people list "putting the bins" out as a job. Unless your driveway is 4 miles along, surely it's just a case of putting a bag in a bin? I don't even really think of it as a chore.

We don't have DC (apart from four cats) so no childcare but DP does pretty much everything else.

That's because he's not working at the moment and I'm the sole earner...so until he gets a job I don't really lift a finger.

I do occasional things like help have a tidy up if guests are coming over, occasionally help with other things but not much.

He also picks me up from the station every day and runs my baths....I'll be sad when he goes back to work TBH

I do most of housework as in mat leave but before the baby we would take turns with cooking and he did most of laundry and hoovering, I did cleaning and bathrooms. If I ask him to do something though he does without complaint, I just don't think they see what we see (are not as neurotic as we are perhaps?)

I work 3 days a week, dh works 5 days, we have three school age dc and a 2 year old. On my working days dh picks the 2 year old up from nursery, entertains her, makes the dc's tea and puts the youngest to bed. He'll also tidy the living room and make sure the older 3 have done their homework.

On my 4 days off I do all the washing, iron the uniforms, cook, food shopping and keep the house clean. I have the youngest with me on those days, she only goes to nursery on the days I work. I also do all household admin (e.g. sort insurance, go through accounts each month, school letters, sort birthday presents, etc. etc) but that doesn't take long - plus dh is shit at it and really disorganised - so I don't mind doing it.

We take it in turns each Sunday to take the dc out to give the other parent some time to themselves to do whatever they want to do childfree.

We both work. So of course it's 50/50, can't see any reason why it shouldn't be.

DP works 50/60 hrs a week (shifts) I work 37.5 hrs(9-5 m-f) DP tidies up and cleans during the week more than I do, but at the weekends I normally do a deep clean.

More or less 50/50 here. I cook, he washes up. We both make the next days lunch. During the week whoever gets the notion to to a load of laundry does it and we both hang it out. He does the ironing, I do hoovering and dusting. We take it in turns to take the bin out

As an aside, it always surprises me when people list "putting the bins" out as a job. Unless your driveway is 4 miles along, surely it's just a case of putting a bag in a bin? I don't even really think of it as a chore.

We live in a third floor flat, it's not the most arduos task but it involves trailing a bin bag down 3 flights of stairs and the back yard is really dark. I consider it a job, just not mine haha!

My DH does all the cooking. Even when he's not going to be here in the evening he will cook a big dish of something in the morning, take some to work with him and leave the rest for me and the kids for our tea

He works 65+ hours a week, I work 30 hours a week so I don't mind doing all the cleaning etc he does what he can when he's here but he does 12 hour shifts in a physically demanding job so is generally knackered when he gets home. On his days off he will tidy up and do some laundry, but through the week I do everything except the cooking

It works for us.

DH has done the bins for 28 years. Very little childcare, never home for bath or bed. Youngest is 18 now. And I have worked full time (but 9.30-6) for twelve years. But DH has (as well as working 7.30-9.30 and some):

Paid the school fees
Provided two beautiful homes
A very nice lifestyle
Been loyal and decent and supportive
Told me he loves me every night before he goes to sleep and every morning when he wakes up.

Treated me as his equal

We both work full time and we don't have any kids.

I do most of the cooking, meal planning, putting the weekly shop away etc. DP does all the laundry and also does all the household finances, admin, bill-paying, subscriptions etc. Before we had a dishwasher he always washed up. We both do routine cleaning, vacuuming, dusting etc. I do most of the DIY but he usually acts as the labourer and does the fetching & carrying and trips to the tip etc. If we get someone else in to do something, DP sorts it. Overall I definitely think we're about even in terms of the time and effort we spend on chores.

He works 5 days a week, me 4.

He does:

All cleaning, washing, ironing, garden stuff, puts bins out, vacuuming.

I do:

Majority (not all) childcare, finances, cooking, meal planning, shopping, b'day/Christmas stuff.

I'm personally very happy with the split.

Mine does a lot. Bins, unloading dishwasher most of the time, cooks dinner while I put DS to bed. Bathes DS most evenings and feeds and dresses him every morning.
What he does not do is ANY planning or thinking whatsoever. Everything we need to for house or DS, everything we do, I plan and research and organise.

Not read all the replies yet but currently with just 1 DC left at home we are 50/50 when he is working in the UK, when he travels I do it all.

He cooks, does his own washing and runs the family finances
I plan and run the diary, tidy and organise the cleaner, run DC around and look after the cats.

When DC were small it was about 40/60 most of the time with us both working full time, he was out of the house for longer but did all the DIY and gardening

heron98 Putting the bins out is an annoying job if you're us - top floor flat so it means a ride down in the lift then a walk to the drive at the end of the car park (about 100m), then separating all the recycling when you get down there!

Husband works full time (in a job he hates), and I'm at home with or two small children (which I love). I do 99.9% of stuff at home as it seems fair. Husband irons his shirts (his choice), does car related stuff (which he enjoys), goes to B&Q when necessary (which he enjoys) and collects take out meals 😀

I am on maternity leave at the minute and I would say we both have our areas. I love bedtimes for the dc he prefers the morning time. I would say I do more with the kids and what needs doing but he will do more housework (after he knows what needs doing).

you also asked if either of us is messy - luckily no, we both like our surroundings clean and tidy. Not obsessively so (I have a friend who pulls off his kitchen cabinet kickboards every week to clean underneath, so not on that level) but neither of us could relax until everything has been cleaned up after dinner, or go to bed if there was a mountain of clothes next to it. I've been told on MN before that this is weird and sad, but works for us.

I am a sham sort of I work every other weekend

My husband cooks at the weekend and at christams he lets me sleep in on weekends however he pretty much lets them go rouge

He dose nil housework other than that and i have to bribe him to to garden work he will howver take the bins out

Loads and unloads dishwasher
Defluffs and empties the water from the tumble dryer
Childrens packed lunches
The vast amount of evening lifts
Cooks at the weekend and cooks his own druing the week if we are eating seperatly
Cleans the toilet and bathroom
Fills cars with petrol
Shares online shop and unpacking
All diy and garden stuff
Will share extra housework at weekends, big clean or ovens etc
All paperwork, hunting for insurance etc

Probably does more but i may have forgotten

I work 8 hours a week and he works fulltime

Oh yes the bins

Dh works 40 hour week. My employment is variable but average 5 hours per week. 3 dds 12 10 and 4. During the week I do all the childcare and housework, laundry and numerous after school activity runs and bedtime. Dh will put bins out on bin day if I haven't. Weekends he may cook one meal and do financial admin.

I guess based on this thread you can deduct that husbands doing fuck all is quite normal. At least not unusual. If that's also fair, that's another question. I just know that when I was working full time and DH was a SAHD, I didn't consider it fair to come home, spread crap everywhere and expect to be waited on.

I'm a SAHM and dp works. I do more or less everything. All meal planning, shopping, cooking, cleaning, washing, ironing, dusting, hoovering. He puts the dc in bed two nights a week when I go out and gets up with them more often than me during the week.