To ask how much your dh does?

[Zaratall]

Pretty much just wondering what's normal.

What does your dh do in the evening/weekends in terms of childcare and household stuff.

Whether one or both of you work.

Is one/both of you messy?

I'm at home atm but have an absolute whirlwind of a toddler.

Dh (I feel) leaves mess and crap everywhere and my days are spent picking up Everton's shit.

My DH is a lot better than he used to be - years of depression. He now does laundry - collects, washes, dries, puts things that can't go in the dryer in the airing cupboard. I do the cooking, he clears the kitchen afterwards. He does not clean - he just doesn't see when bathroom, loos, kitchen need doing. So I do that. I probably do more than he does though we both work f/t but that is mainly because there are things he can't do due to serious arthritis and I don't mind. When he was deep in depression it was a different story, he did fuck-all and it was really bad.

Mine does tons of housework, much more than I do. But I still find fault with him because he usually leaves one thing not done - so if he does the washing up, he'll do it all, dry everything and put it away - except the garlic press, because it's a pain in the arse to get the bits out. He will leave it on the side unwashed. Same with emptying the dishwasher - if there's something that's harder to put away like an awkward shaped bowl, he'll just leave it out. I find it fucking infuriating.

I do the deep cleans, going under the furniture and behind things. He does do more but I'm more thorough. And I do all the laundry, because he doesn't do it properly. He can't seem to fold anything, and he hangs things up to dry wrong. And uses too much detergent, and the wrong sort.

He does more of the cooking, and more ferrying teenagers around (we don't have small DC). We do both work full time though, and I have a much longer commute.

I do find this "He doesn't see dirt" thing incomprehensible tbh. It's surely not that these men's eyes work differently from women's. It's that they don't CARE, not that they don't SEE. My dh is the same fwiw. He hates untidiness but doesn't care about dust etc (except that he likes a clean kitchen to cook in). It's about priorities, not eyesight .

DH works shifts, I work days so he's at home during the week much more. He will do laundry, ironing, will prepare that evenings food, he will Hoover, do bins and does all the gardening. When the children were small he would do everything for them, make food, change nappies, feed them, wash and dress them. He'd take them and collect the, from school and walk with them with the dog and take them shopping.
He doesn't

Clean bathrooms
Dust

Absolutely everything else he does and without me needing to ask. Our home is like a well oiled machine between the two of us, I do it if he's in work and vice versa. I'm very lucky.

I'm currently on maternity leave and at the moment most jobs are done by me of an evening while he looks after the baby because it's hard to do anything with a three month old! He does about 80% of nappies and general entertaining/cuddling when he's here, and he does the bedtime routine (apart from feeding). He's not great round the house - does bits but not good at noticing what needs doing. We have a cleaner because I refuse to do it all and we both make okay money. He's messy as fuck, but has hoarding tendencies and that's a whole other thread!

Mine does some of the cooking, washing, hoovering, dishes, and all the bins, garden stuff and DIY. Mostly I do the 'cleaning' as in floors, dusting, surfaces, beds, bathroom etc. It's pretty even I think. If anything he probably does a little bit more.

He is the main provider, long hours, high-stress job.

I work PT but my job is low stress and quite enjoyable. It covers PT nursery fees for toddler but doesn't contribute to family income.

The housework, cooking, laundry and coordinating childcare is my role but DH is happy for me to delegate things to him especially at weekends. He deals with all bills, admin, cars, DIY, takes bins out and tidies up here and there. He also does most of the grocery shopping. At weekends he spends more time with toddler than me, or if we both have things we need to do we divide up the time accordingly.
I do all night wakings and early starts.

We have quite traditional roles but it works for us.

I'm a SAHM and the kids are now 9&11. He does the bins and all financial admin. That's about it, a little tidying and sometimes cleans down the kitchen at the weekend (he does a good job). We always cook Sunday roasts together but that's not every week.
It works for us mostly

DH is far tidier than me. On weeknights he comes home and gets stuck in with the fire or racing or cleaning the kitchen after tea or whatever. We do equal bedtimes. I do 99% of the cooking. He does a fair bit of laundry, maybe 30%.

Overall I'd say we're broadly equal with different strengths and weaknesses.

Dp does whatever needs doing. Laundry, cooking, hoovering, dusting, changing sheets, cleaning bathroom. I am slightly messier than him but only by a fraction we both need the place pretty tidy to function. We both always forget the bins and loo roll.

When I wasn't working i did slightly more of the cooking. When he wasn't working the house became a show home. It gleamed!

DH works full time and does shift work. Around the house he :
Does the washing up every day and wipes down kitchen
Does far more laundry than I do
Hoovers far more than I do but less thoroughly
Cleans the bathroom more than I do but less thoroughly
Puts bins out

I was working 3 days a week but just started second lot of maternity leave. Around the house I :
Cook all meals
More thorough hoover less often
More thorough bathroom clean less often
Food shopping
Pay bills (those that aren't direct debit)
Organise everything!

With DS everything is equal as much as it can be. DH spends loads of time with him and is happy to take him out by himself. We take it in turns to do bedtime.

Both work full time pretty even split.

Whoever cooks doesn't wash up.
I do the laundry he irons
I Hoover he dusts and polishes things
Alternate dog walking
And generally pick up after ourselves, we don't leave clothes or towels on bathroom floor etc and if something is grotty we just clean it/sort it. If it's his turn to cook and he's in traffic or whatever I'll cook and vice versa

During the week Dh sometimes finishes late, or is away with work. So does little.

His jobs are the bins, recycling, cooking once a week, unloading the dishwasher, bedtime and homework when I've had enough of doing it.

I work 4 days and a Saturday morning. My Dh had them the Saturday morning and takes them to their activity, and his dad's.

Can occasionally run the hoover around the house.

Other than that I do cooking, childcare, get them dressed and ready for school (as he stresses) laundry, fold clothes, iron, shopping, all school activities i.e. (Dress up days) homework the majority of the time, tidying, 3x activities including swimming, hoovering, bathrooms x3 🙄 ...

God, this thread is depressing. 'Help'. 'Delegate' 'good dad but does nothing in the house'.

Seriously, two adults in the house should be a partnership. You pull equal weight and get the same amount of leisure time. Good fathers don't 'help' care for their children. They parent them. If you're cleaning up after an adult male who does nothing around the house because he has a job, he's a lazy arse. Not a great partner.

I'm a sahm with school age dc.

I do all cleaning, cooking, shopping, laundry and deal with dc homework/school stuff/appointments etc.

He will occasionally load/unload dishwasher at weekends...and all diy.

It works well for us. I have 6 childfree hours per day...I would feel dreadful if he had to do housework or cook dinner when I've had all that time to do it.

Our kids are teenagers. Dh does no cleaning but pays for a cleaner, he does enough I can't complain!

My dh will wash up about 1/2 times in 6 months, but only half of the pots for some reason, but never the saucepans or pans. He mows the grass and fixes things. I do literally everything else

Dh works full time sometimes 6 days a week as well. I'm on maternity leave I have a baby and a toddler. I do most of the general housework and cooking but dh will cook dinner a few times a week , empties bins when needed, empties dishwasher when needed, puts washing on at the weekend etc. He does all the hoovering. He does most of the nappies when he is here. He does all the bath times and most of bed time like teeth and pyjamas and then we both read a story.

I'm pretty happy with that, it seems fair and I know that if I'm ever struggling he'd help without comment.

He definitely doesn't see the need to clean quite as much as I do though so it wouldn't bother him to leave dishes on the side before we go to bed or leave piles of clothes on the floor!

We have a slightly unconventional set up. I work out of the home 3 long mornings, he does 2 days. The kids are home ed so we work round each other. He also does some self employed stuff from home on the day we are both off, and evenings etc. He still earns more, but in terms of hours we are pretty close out of the home.

He tidies and Hoovers as much as I do, does bedtime and books every night and baths. I do most of the shopping, cooking, washing. He does the garden,DIY (we are doing some pretty big projects at the moment in the house which he has done, saves a fortune on contractors), car maintenance etc. I do banking, sorting insurance and utilities etc.

We both do equal activities etc with the kids, I tend to arrange more but he is more sociable so does more groups etc.

So very equal really. I have 'done' Christmas in terms of the shopping, but I enjoy it. We are hoping to build a house planning permitting (fingers toes and everything crossed) and he has designed it, done all the planning app etc in lieu of an architect so he is pretty handy.

This may change slightly as he is looking to change jobs. We both have an evening out a week, me at yoga and him at a Sangha so he is cooking etc this eve as I'm out.

Actually he cleans more thinking about it, he does the bathroom, dusting, fire etc. I tend to tidy a bit more.

DH works FT, I work PT from home. I do all cooking, food shopping and social arrangements because I enjoy it. DH does all DIY & most of the vacuuming because he enjoys it.

Everything else is shared 50/50 and if I'm honest he has higher cleaning standards than I do

DH does the clothes washing and ironing and most outdoor jobs.

I do the cooking and food shopping, plus general house tidying.

We have a cleaner.

Children are teens, so not so much to do there but its equally split and always has been.

Currently on mat leave with a needy 8 month old. Don't get a great deal done during the day. My jobs are laundry, ironing, hoovering and cooking (usually after DD has gone to bed). DP works only a short drive away so is home by 5 (he's a teacher) most evenings so usually does play/bath/cuddles before I feed and put her to bed.

He is also fantastic at getting up with her at the weekend so I can have a little lie in and will usually take her out for a long walk so that I can catch up on housework. Anything I don't have time to do, he will usually do afterwards. DP is also very good at doing the washing up every evening (because I hate doing it and we don't have space for a dishwasher!)

Mine works long hours but flexibly and from home. I used to work full time but am on maternity leave / working freelance at the moment. We have one child and don't use childcare.

I feel like we're quite 50-50. I do the cooking every night of the week except maybe one, but he usually makes (elaborate) breakfast for everyone. He usually clears up when I cook. We have a sporadic cleaner (borrow a friend's "as and when) but generally both tidy up as we go. He always takes the bins out. We both do washing but I maybe do slightly more. He tidies the bedroom more. He does night nappy changes because I breastfeed. In the day with nappies, it's just whoever gets to it first. If he has time, he takes the baby out for an hour or two walk so I can get some solo time (most days) and I return the favour if it's a day where we're both home. I get a cup of tea in bed every morning but I do return the favour.

I do the cooking and DH does the washing up.

DH makes DS' breakfast and I make his lunch and dinner on my days off.

On nursery days DH makes his dinner while I entertain DS.

We bath DS and put him to bed together every night.

DH does laundry and outside jobs like bins. I do dusting/hoovering/tidying/decluttering and putting away clothes etc.