to be fuming at this 'teacher'?

[user1480369074]

DD's music teacher told another student in class today: 'Don't warm up with (DD). You know why'. DD has interpreted it as 'Don't warm up with me in case some of my rubbish playing rubs off on you', and is heartbroken. There has always been some pretty blatant favouritism going on from this teacher, but this has taken it up a notch. DD lacks confidence anyway, and her teacher knows this. DD is aware there are better musicians in her grade, but it's never been an issue among the kids, they are all friends and supportive of each other. AIBU in thinking this teacher is being deliberately divisive and unnecessarily cruel? She's teaching ten-year-olds ffs!

Hope you're not one of those teachers who think music teachers are somehow not "proper" teachers...

My mum is also a teacher, or was... There are many ways of teaching!

Read I think Bitoutofpractice's list for all the things it could have been and teach your DD to grow a backbone. My all means sympathise and give her a treat to make the blow less harsh but don't go thinking reasons where the teacher was being unkind.

A close friend of mine is a music teacher part time now, if I asked her this question she'd say it could mean anything and not what you yourself are thinking in this scenario.

Emmanuelcant there are lots of unpleasant comments about Americans on Mumsnet. After our recent election, I hang my head in shame, and feel we deserve most of them, but they still piss me off.

Yes, a lot of British people assume that Americans are loud, gun-toting, ignorant, fat, shallow, self-indulgent, Hallowe'en loving, consumerist, fundamentalist, bigots, who apparently go around imagining slights and complaining about teachers.

I have sometimes been told: "You don't seem like an American" because I am not much of a consumer, and am pretty quiet (never kick up a fuss at school for instance). I am always mystified by this: do people really think that the America we see on TV is anything like the reality?

evergreen

Unfortunately I do know it. I'm a home school link worker in a primary school - 90% of my work is with parents. Most of them are lovely, of course .

In your scenario though, I'd have been very tempted to reply, "Well, I always say why keep a dog and bark yourself?"

claraschu

My opinions are based on years and years of meeting parents and teachers of all nationalities (in a professional setting). Perhaps you're an exception to the rule, but stereotypes generally exist for a reason.

In my experience, Americans tend to be loud, opinionated, confident, friendly, welcoming, insecure, demanding, fundamentalist, consumerist, energetic, optimistic, affirmative* and shallow. This is based on those I've met. The 'fat' part only came after I'd visited Florida.

Most I've met are 'wunnerful' but that doesn't stop me judging you. :)

*as in "great job y'all.", "that was wunnerful", "well, aren't you just the prettiest", "Fantastic job. Group hug everyone and tell me three things you love about yourself".

Haha emmanuelcant that has some truth in it, but is certainly not the whole picture. There is a lot of truth in the stereotypes about English people, though I would never make a generalisation about English people on a US chat board.

Anyway sorry about the derailment OP.

Well, the OP is not American as she refers to herself as mummy.

But, with consideration, I am still fuming that my DD had to deal with this today, and she has still gone to bed upset

Your child is upset because you handled this badly. You let a 10 year old interpret a comment that could have meant any number of things, and ran with it, and reinforced their upset. You could easily have helped them to intepret it differently, or contacted the teacher for clarification. Instead you let the kid run with it, and came on here to fume and rant.

Why would you do that? Is it the drama you like?

So your dd comes home with something that she thinks is potentially upsetting and is waiting for your guidance as to how to deal with it. And you, instead of pointing out that there are a million possible interpretations and that none of them matter in the grand scheme of things, immediately jump to the worst conclusion and go into hyperbolic thinking about cruelty and belittling. Result: your dd picks up on your vibes and is now seriously upset. And has learnt that the next time something ambiguous happens, the valid course of action to jump to the worst possible interpretation. Because that is what she's learnt from her mum.

Now tell me how that is kind or supportive parenting?

Suburban so you do know! Oh yes! Most people are lovely but the bad ones always stick

Hi Clara, both my DC had an American teacher at school, she was the loveliest, funniest, prettiest, kindest, supportive teacher they had in seven years.

Just wanted to say I don't think all Americans are like this and I have travelled the country extensively.

Waves hello to N**y the lovely American teacher if she is a MNetter.

Aw thanks for the kind words!

Sadly but predictably here, my vaguely flippant comment has been taken too seriously.

I do base my observation on fact: the majority of Americans, in my experience, go way overboard in their positive affirmation and this often doesn't have the desired effect as shown in this thread.

I also mentioned great attributes that the typical American has and these stereotypes are often the reason I employ them.

I do base my observation on fact: the majority of Americans, in my experience, go way overboard in their positive affirmation and this often doesn't have the desired effect as shown in this thread

Thats anecdote, not fact. Unless you've met about 150 million americans you can't state that the majority of them in your experience do anything. You have no experience of the majority of them.

"the majority of Americans, in my experience,"

read it more slowly user1408654464564759034w5 and you'll get a better understanding.

OP, why don't you contact the teacher directly and find out what was actually said and meant?

Maybe write it more slowly and you might start to make sense. Because your post doesn't say what you think it does.

Oh quelle surprise. The op hasn't been back!

Oh dixie what do you know with your 20 years of living in. America? I mean emmanuel met some Americans a few times so that makes her far better qualified to lecture us comment

So, no sign of the op? Really? So surprising!