Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To believe DS (9) still believes in Father Christmas?

52 replies

user1475501383 · 28/11/2016 01:24

I found out at age 7 or 8 myself which I always thought was pretty late. DS (9) still talks about Santa like he genuinely believes in him.

Is this normal? DS is a pretty switched on kid so sometimes I wonder if he actually knows Santa isn't real but plays along to it because he maybe thinks he needs to in order to get presents?

At what age did your DCs find out the truth and how?

Is there a gentle way to break the news so the child doesn't feel betrayed if it goes on for too long?

OP posts:
Juanbablo · 28/11/2016 02:17

My eldest child is 9 and hasn't questioned this year but I think he is getting suspicious. Some children in his class said Santa wasn't real last year and he didn't believe them. I think if he still believes when he is 11 I will break it to him.

Topseyt · 28/11/2016 02:23

I never bothered saying or doing anything.

They just worked it out for themselves, though I think they all (3 of them) highly doubted it by 9.

comfortblankie · 28/11/2016 02:52

It's funny, I had doubts about God, Jesus and all of Christianity at age 6, but Father Christmas seemed legit until I was definitely 10 if not 11! Definitely break the news before secondary

MuggleWuggle · 28/11/2016 03:56

My dd is 9, I think she probably knows he's not real but likes the idea of believing so holds on to it, for now. If it comes up I don't say anything definite either way.

BusyBeez99 · 28/11/2016 05:37

My DS is 11 next month and still believes. I'm trying to drop a few hints but he's not taking the bair.....we've done too good a job I think on hyping FC up!

BusyBeez99 · 28/11/2016 05:37

*bait

AmeliaJack · 28/11/2016 05:40

Mine asked for the truth (and got it) at 5yo.

Certainly at 8yo a number of their friends appear to believe (certainly according to their Mums!)

All kids are different.

AddUpToNothing · 28/11/2016 07:20

My daughter is 11 and I think she knows he isn't real. But I also think there's a small part of her that still wants to believe.

Father Christmas has only ever given one present in this house, so I'll leave that out this year and see if anything gets said.

We'll still leave out a mince pie, a glass of something and a carrot for Rudolf though Grin

Fairylea · 28/11/2016 07:25

I was 12 until I stopped believing BlushGrin honestly! I just absolutely loved santa and Christmas and everything else and my mum did it so convincingly that even when the kids at school were telling me it was parents that I just thought they were making it up! When my mum finally told me I cried for hours! Blush So when kids say they believe at later ages I wouldn't necessarily think they are fibbing.

JemimaMuddledUp · 28/11/2016 07:30

My DC were 7, 11 and 9 respectively when they stopped believing. It depends on the child.

emmanuelcant · 28/11/2016 07:38

Never break the news. Let them believe for as long as possible. Once the magic's gone, it's gone. They aren't going to be bullied or laughed at for being a believer so what is there to gain?

I work with a lot of children and there's no correlation between 'switchedonness' and when they question Father Christmas, the Tooth Fairy and other things like that. Perhaps the brighter children do deep down but are happy to be swept along by the magic. I'd say it's the less articulate ones which can't understand the nuances that need a black or white 'yes, its made up...'.

Mine asked for the truth (and got it) at 5yo.

Fuck, that's sad.

ruthsmumkath · 28/11/2016 07:41

My 9 year old still believes (and younger dcs too) my 12 year old saw me the year before last so knows - and therefore becomes deputy elf and it's more fun for me tooSmile

notmaryberry · 28/11/2016 07:46

Mine asked this year in February at age 8 so I told her the truth. I thought it better to tell her then than to find out near Christmas / on Christmas day!

LaContessaDiPlump · 28/11/2016 07:48

They aren't going to be bullied or laughed at for being a believer so what is there to gain?

Er, have you ever met children (particularly in the 7-10 range)? They are vicious about things like this!

Interestingly I'd say my less switched-on DS1 (5) is more sceptical but my very clued-up DS2 (4) is more keen to be entranced by it all. He's airy fairy AND intelligent, the worst kind of hippy I am too Grin

I have resolved to keep the lie going (and it is a lie, let's not forget) until next year but won't defend it too determinedly - we're only doing it now because I don't want to be hated in the playground for ruining Christmas! I'll be embarrassed at their lack of logical thought if they believe beyond 8yo tbh....

BoredOnMatLeave · 28/11/2016 07:50

I'm 24, stopped believing around 7 and to this day have never actually told my mum I don't believe. She had an unspoken rule that if you said you don't believe you are deducted 1 present.

Maybe we are an odd family... I always buy 1 gift 'from santa' for DP Blush

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 28/11/2016 07:52

I think they don't 'believe' for a few years before they tell you they don't.

Kind of like edging their bets a bit.

pinklimonade · 28/11/2016 07:53

Mine stopped believing at 4. Not bothered with the younger two.

LillianGish · 28/11/2016 07:57

We used to say never mind what anyone else says it's best to believe or you might not get any presents. We still joke about it even now. I don't think you have to make any dramatic announcement - kids will come to their own conclusions and may even like to play along for their own amusement because let's be honest it is more fun. My dd's best friend at nursery school told her quite categorically there was no Santa and it was just us buying presents - I persuaded her that that might be the case for her friend, but that was only because she didn't believe! We could have just come clean there and then, but I don't see any harm in a bit of make believe - I don't think my kids felt lied to they just saw it for what it is, a bit of good old-fashioned Christmas fun.

skippy67 · 28/11/2016 08:01

Mine both believed at 11. I told them the truth before they went to secondary. They're 15 and 19 now and still get stockings...

emmanuelcant · 28/11/2016 08:04

LaContessaDiPlump
They aren't going to be bullied or laughed at for being a believer so what is there to gain?

Er, have you ever met children (particularly in the 7-10 range)? They are vicious about things like this!

I'm responsible for ~130 of them.

LaContessaDiPlump · 28/11/2016 08:15

Wow. They sound like unusually kind kids!

wiccamum · 28/11/2016 08:24

I think my dd (just turned 10) is now a non-believer, but going along with it "just in case" 😆

She's started hinting at Christmas presents, asking me and not FC. She left a book catalogue (one of those Book People type ones) with big circles drawn around the things she likes "just to give YOU some ideas mum". I'm not going to explicitly tell her the truth, as like other pps have said, I think she likes the idea of the magic...I think she's holding on for my benefit too!

BarbarianMum · 28/11/2016 08:42

Oh well, mine was 6 when he asked for the truth and was told it. I don't find it sad at all. It started with a campaign for winter costs for Syrian children arriving in Greece. He wanted to know why Father Christmas couldn't bring them coats -had they all been very naughty? So I said no, of course not and he worked it out pretty quickly from there. He's quite a logical child - if it's presents if you've been good then how come not for everyone?

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 28/11/2016 08:45

My dd at 8 (IIRC) told me very matter-of-factly that she knew Father Christmas was me and Daddy, so no need to pretend any more.
So I said OK, but not a word to her little sister.

Many years later, when she was in her 20s, she told me she'd been absolutely dying for me to deny it, so she could go on believing a little longer!
So if I had my time over again......

emmanuelcant · 28/11/2016 09:03

LaContessaDiPlump

Not in my 15 years of headship and 7 teaching KS1 before that.

Perhaps you only know vicious ones.