...to be v annoyed by woman who started going on about how she would never let her grandchildren wear secondhand clothes?

[KathyMCMLXXII]

Grr.
Stupid woman in the doctor's waiting room yesterday.... she started off by telling me she was expecting her first grandchild and was very nervous about it (I was there with 2 mo ds, whom she said you could tell was a boy - wtf?). Then started going on about 'Someone gave me a bag of baby clothes the other day. I'm not being funny, but my husband's done very well in life and there's no way anyone in my family's going to wear second hand clothes.'
Needless to say ds was dressed entirely in stuff borrowed from my brother (who has 3 boys) and looked very nice in it too....

I'm not suggesting her comments were in any way aimed at me and ds, but it just seemed like such a stupid attitude.

(And I know that traditionally there's been more of a stigma about secondhand stuff among some working class people than middle class, but surely we've moved on from that? And when it comes down to it, it's still snobbery, isn't it?)

At first I had to lie to DH where some lovely DD clothes came from. Now he agrees it's stupid to be so snobbish. All DD's clothes have been worn three time if we are lucky, they are only secondhand because someone else bought them but they are not consumed or damaged etc. I still do by new stuff if I like and I accept the second hand things that I like as well.
I don't know whether is a working class thing or middle class as being a foreigner I do not get the nuances of this but I think it's just a sensible thing regardless...
save the money for education and pension, I say!!!

And of course the important thing to remember is that it's environmentally friendly to recycle clothes by handing them on.
So practise looking down your noses with disdain at anyone who has so little regard for the planet that they insist on buying new clothes!

Almost everything DD2 has came from ebay. When they are little they grow so quickly that their clothes often get little wear. I can buy gorgeous, edsigner clothes on ebay for less than the price of a pair of leggings from Woolies. When DD2 has grown out of it, I sell it on again through ebay. I am not uneccesarily spending wads of cash on dressing my DD, but she always looks lovely, people always comment on her clothes, she is an individual (I have had things from abroad, past seasons, nice designer) and I feel doing the planet a favour by not contributing to greater levels of waste. It is the ultimate recycling!

being snooty about 2nd hand clothes is imho a rather revealing class indicator - the opposite of impression i expect the speaker wishes to create.

I have to admit that when DD was born I refused any offer of 2nd hand clothes etc...

I wanted everything brand new for my lo!...

Then reality kicked in (I decided to give up work) and could no longer afford to buy everything brand new...

So started to look on Ebay... from about 6 months old she was dressed in clothes only from ebay...

I have no idea why i was being so stupid - absolutely nothing wrong with 2nd hand clothes..... just took me a while to realise....

I think buying second hand is a bit different to accepting hand me downs as a previous poster said, you get to choose what you get - clothes that appeal to your aesthetics. I used to give all DD1's clothes to my SIL who has 2 girls 18 months and 4 years behind my DD but we share very similar tastes. I love seeing my neices in DDs clothes, and they get so excited when they arrive twice yearly (but it often causes in-fighting about who is having what!). I was always a bit disappointed that my DD was the eldest child in the family UNTIL...DH started working here and his multi-millionaire 'boss' with a DD 3years older than mine started passing her stuff on to my DD. Talk about hitting the jackpot! I hardly have to buy my DD anything any more! She loves the stuff she gets and most of it is what I would love to buy, but could never (and would never) afford. I feel very lucky, and not at all scroungy.

I bought a bundle of premature baby clothes of Ebay for Baby Annabel - was quite impressed at my ingenuity. I got the doll an entire wardrobe, including hand knitted cardies, hats, vests the works for about the same price as one branded Baby Annabel outfit. The don't fit 100% brilliantly, but isn't that more realistic?

this stupid woman obviously has an insecurity somewhere and to be honest, who cares whether or not her husband has done well for himself...he could have done even better by saving MORE money by buying 2nd hand clothes or accepting hand me downs!! maybe she's jealous as no one ever liked her enough to give her anything in life...was that a bit harsh, sorry, not in the best of moods to read about stuck up pretend snobs! xx

LOL Tups, thank you for sharing my rant (I'm Kathy, BTW - changed my name for today)

There was a woman who lived near me who had a 4 year old and a 18month old, both boys. One day she turned up at the house of the woman across the road with a bag of clothes for her son, but not, as you may think the clothes belonging to the younger child, no she was handed a bag of clothes ranging from 2 -4 years old, which had belonged to the older son. When asked did she not want them for her own younger child her reply was "I couldn't possibly put X in hand me downs".
My MIL is also a bit like this, and it is because of the fact she didn't have any money when she was younger. She was one of 6 girls, so had nothing new. Then PIL left when Dh was 7 and his brother 6. MIL had no money, she got nothing from PIL. Now, she's a nightmare. Everything she buys is a brand name, she won't buy Tesco or Asda own brand, and she wanders round clothes shops, pulling things off the rails and buying them. inevitably they get given to her sisters becaue "I don't like it/want it anymore". She has 3 wardrobes full of clothes, many with the labels still on, yet won't give them to a charity shop, or sell them on ebay.
When my SIl had her eldest DS we got her some vouchers for mothercare, which at the time were part of the same group as BHS. She took them into BHS and got a lamp for her living room, because she didn't want her child dressed in anything other than Next, Gap, etc, certainly not mothercare.
I on the other hand didn't actually buy an outfit for DS1 till he was about a year old as we got so many as gifts, and bags of stuff from friends. We also got our moses basket, sling etc given as hand me downs, didn't bother me

That woman sounds like my FIL till we managed to talk some sense into him. By explaining that he would have to buy all the kids clothes then cause we can't afford to buy everything new. When he saw the prices of new clothes etc he soon shut up. The children have had some lovely clothes and toys from charity shops and handed down by friends and family. As they grow out of them they are being filtered down to DN/sent to charity shop or the local womens refuge. I have kept a few bits in case DH gives in and lets me have another DC in the future.

my sil is same - someone tried to give her secondhand uniform and she was HORRIFIED! I'd be delighted! in fact, often buy bits from Ebay/school uniform shop etc.

I know a woman like that!

I personally would have taken delight in pointing out that my DC's wardrobes are jammed full of clothes that are either second hand - bought by me. Or designer - bought my family members who can afford it and enjoy spending on my children!

I sell alot of these on E-bay when outgrown, as they still have loads of wear, and I use the moeny to get them more clothes etc in the next size!

DS was in hosptial last week and to my shock had outgrown his (in what seems like 48 hours) 0-3 month clothes, - I offered them to the ward for emergencies with other babies etc, but was told they dont keep them. They suggested I tried SCBU, but o reflection decided 0-3 clothes would be too big.

So they are going in the blue bag to raise money for DDs pre-school, and at least I know A) pre-school will profit, B) someone who needs them will get them

I remember seeing a woman on This Morning with her 12 kids and she said that they bought EVERYTHING new with each baby. New cot, new pram, new toys etc. Get your head round that!!!Yes I did say TWELVE kids.

ok a bit off subject but i just brought reusable nappies off ebay and my dh went mad because his mum will see it as we can't afford proper nappies (wtf??) and they are second hand so must be dirty (ever heard of a washing machine?) it took me 3 weeks to get him to use re-usable wipes!

oh and get a lot of dcs stuff off ebay and re-sell/give away on freecycle!

i did however buy all dds small baby stuff new, i was 17 and trying to prove to everyone that i could do this on my own and my baby will be fine and dressed well. wish id had a bit more sense!

I was a bit like that about DC's bedding, but seen as sleeping bags are around £20 each in shops I felt rather pleased with myself when I managed to get 3 for less that £15 from our local second hand shop!