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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to be v annoyed by woman who started going on about how she would never let her grandchildren wear secondhand clothes?

92 replies

KathyMCMLXXII · 15/02/2007 12:13

Grr.
Stupid woman in the doctor's waiting room yesterday.... she started off by telling me she was expecting her first grandchild and was very nervous about it (I was there with 2 mo ds, whom she said you could tell was a boy - wtf?). Then started going on about 'Someone gave me a bag of baby clothes the other day. I'm not being funny, but my husband's done very well in life and there's no way anyone in my family's going to wear second hand clothes.'
Needless to say ds was dressed entirely in stuff borrowed from my brother (who has 3 boys) and looked very nice in it too....

I'm not suggesting her comments were in any way aimed at me and ds, but it just seemed like such a stupid attitude.

(And I know that traditionally there's been more of a stigma about secondhand stuff among some working class people than middle class, but surely we've moved on from that? And when it comes down to it, it's still snobbery, isn't it?)

OP posts:
Original poster
KathyMCMLXXII · 15/02/2007 12:41

Did they wear jeans down mines then, MrsBadger? That would make perfect sense re my grandma as she was from a mining community but always going on about how no-one in my family had ever had to work down the pit.

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clairemow · 15/02/2007 12:47

I think I'd have told her that my DS was dressed from head to toe in clothes that had been donated by friends and family (which he often is...). What's the point of buying new if you can get stuff second hand for free?

I bought the entire sum of DS1's summer clothing last year from a PTA sale at the local school - for £16 - just dashed in, and grabbed everything in his size whilst elbowing s all the other middle class mothers trying to pick the nice items only out of the way. LOL.

Any one ever been to an NCT sale?? My god, the carnage...!

knittingfog · 15/02/2007 12:48

According to dear departed Grandpa, the jeans for the poor thing comes from when they were invented in America and the fact that they were prevalent during the depression era in the 30's. My Grandpa would have been in his late 20's/ early 30's then.

Pruni · 15/02/2007 12:49

Message withdrawn

MrsBadger · 15/02/2007 12:54

[frantic googling to back up my outlandish statement re jeans and miners]

The original Levis were made for gold miners in the US in the 1850s out of canvas meant for tents, but I'm not sure they were ever actually worn in UK mines - wouldn't be surprised though.

fortyplus · 15/02/2007 13:06

I used to run the uniform shop at my sons' school - only the people in massive houses would buy 2nd hand uniform - the ones living on benefits always had brand new stuff.

Stargazer · 15/02/2007 13:09

Well I think it's problem. I had lots of hand-me-downs for my DD - she had some beautfiul dresses from my SIL (her DD is 9 months older than my DD) - so it worked really well. And it saved me a fortune in baby/toddler clothes. Sadly, my DD is now bigger than her cousin - so I'm doing the hand-me-downs

colditz · 15/02/2007 13:09

It's because the people in the big house have the big house to show off with! they don't need to show off with spanky new uniforms.

Also, if you can't afford to do much for your kids, the little things feel important.

Like, you can't afford to send them skiing with the school, but can afford a brand new school jumper.

Stargazer · 15/02/2007 13:09

Oops! That should read "I think it's her problem. Really should check my messages before posting.

LadyMacbeth · 15/02/2007 13:17

The first thing she'll probably buy her dg is a Burberry romper suit, followed by some Swarovski-encrusted baby Timms .

My dds wear a combination of new and second-hand clothes. I really don't care where they're from - so long as I like them and that they're clean.

MrsBadger · 15/02/2007 13:17

oh, school uniform shops, absolutely.
I went as a scholarship girl to a private school and after two weeks was begging my mum to go to the second-hand shop and get me some washed-out skirts so my spanky new stuff wasn't so conspicuous.

fortyplus · 15/02/2007 13:28

My boys get hand me downs from a couple of older boys. They are superheroes to my 2, so they get quite excited if they actually get to wear some of their clothes!
I can't understand why anyone has a problem with it - I pass all mine on to other people. Even when they get tatty they're great for the garden or when they used to go to Cub Camp.

unknownrebelbang · 15/02/2007 13:41

Why would you be annoyed about her attitude though?

She's nothing to you.

Original poster
KathyMCMLXXII · 15/02/2007 13:42

That's why I posted in the AIBU topic, unknownrebelbang - I can't work out why I am so wound up about it

OP posts:
Pruni · 15/02/2007 13:46

Message withdrawn

unknownrebelbang · 15/02/2007 13:47

lol Kathy.

Original poster
KathyMCMLXXII · 15/02/2007 13:51

Hmmm.... maybe it's because it's an apparently minor issue which points up a massive convergence of values?

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Original poster
KathyMCMLXXII · 15/02/2007 14:26

divergence I mean

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fortyplus · 15/02/2007 15:26

Maybe that's right. I know people who live in tiny 2 up 2 down house but with massive brand new BMW 4x4. X5 I think?
If that were me I'd have a nicer house.
I've got lovely house but drive w reg Polo & dh has company Zafira because he's too tight to pay the extra & have the Merc/BMW/Audi or whatever.

Bozza · 15/02/2007 15:35

I could never send any of DS's uniform to a second hand shop. The trousers are wrecked and the jumpers (bought from school) are bobbly with felt tip marks on. In fact, DS has largely been clothed from new but has two younger cousins who are benefitting from his wardrobe. DD, OTOH, has been given tons of hand me downs. She chose her own outfit today - it consisted of Asda fleece jumper (75p in sale), handmedown skirt and when we went out handmedown coat. And when I see my 2yo nephews in DS's clothes I think it is so sweet and get all nostalgic.

mosschops30 · 15/02/2007 15:36

I dont buy second hand clothes for my dd and ds. I dont see why its a problem to anyone, I just choose not to. I'm not a high-flier who earns a fortune either. Just buy them normal stuff from Next/Gap etc.

I do however give all their old stuff to charity shops

Original poster
KathyMCMLXXII · 15/02/2007 15:38

Yes Bozza, I love the fact that my children wear the same clothes and play with the same toys as their cousins. (Confuses my parents a bit when they're trying to work out which one it is in a photo, though.)

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Bozza · 15/02/2007 15:38

I don't buy them either, but accept them gratefully when given.

Bozza · 15/02/2007 15:40

One of my nephews won't wear clothes if he realises they are DS's, he wants to give them back to him, not realising they are miles too small. DD (also 2), OTOH, was given a bag full of clothes from her friend, and treated them like presents, insisting on wearing something from it every day for a week.

Original poster
KathyMCMLXXII · 15/02/2007 15:42

But is it something you don't happen to do, Mosschops, or something you wouldn't dream of doing?
Suppose a friend or relative gave you something really nice, suitable and hardly worn, for instance, you wouldn't bin it on principle, would you?

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