To not want people puking, pissing through my cellar grate

[RubbishMantra]

I live between the bars and local "Nite-Club". Just heard puking noises, then somebody (female) laughing and saying you just puked up in their cellar.

I can't concrete it over - when I bought my home the cellar was airtight, and caused the entire house to smell mouldy. So got the concrete removed from the grate, and a window put in.

I suppose I'll just have to venture into the cellar tomorrow and clean the vomit off the outside of the window.

But why do people think it's amusing to do this?

Because they're drunk?

electric fence?

But I can't conceive of a situation, no matter how pissed I've been, when I found it amusing to puke into another person's property. Unless I really, REALLY hated them These are just randomers.

YABU

You should have invited them into your home, sat them down with a coffee and talked to them gently.

Well at least that seems to be the Mumsnet mantra if another mother kicks off and loses her rag at you, so why not apply it to random sick drunks too?

Sorry OP. Sounds awful. Can you complain to the club and the council?

Do your neighbours suffer from anti-social behaviour too?

bloody disgusting

Could you get security lighting, maybe that would help deter them / move them on?

Or a ring motion camera, then you can at least shout at them and scare the shit out of them when it happens.

Pink, cellar grid is on the actual pavement, so sadly no electric fence would be allowed.

Fair enough if someone gets caught short, but then to actually mirthfully CROW about it? And laff?!

Worra, it was worse when I moved in, and waiting for the shutters to be installed. Thursday-Friday nights, random blokes would knock on the window if they saw me up and about, demanding they come in "for a chat". I remember one bloke in particular, who actually told me to fuck off when I declined to let him in. Where should I have fucked off to? A Travelodge? so he could make himself comfy in my lovely little house?

I'm getting the rage now, and it's taking ALL of my will-power not to go into the trap-door cellar and clean the vom spattered window. It can wait til tomorrow can't it?

Gross. I remember seeing on a documentary about the Notting Hill Carnival that it's apparently par for the course for 'revellers' to use residential doorways and basement areas as loos. People can be really revolting. But if it's a known problem there must be known measures you can take

Re, the ring motion camera Penguins, I'll have to look into that, as I live in a "protected" area. Can't think of the proper term. But nobody in the street can have a satellite dish on the front of the houses.

Thank you for the suggestion. Am just at the entitledness of some wankers who think it's amusing to vomit/piss into another person's property, who has never done them harm.

There's a fantastic video doing the rounds on FB of someone in a similar situation to yourself.
He got so hacked off with the puking and pissing that he put up signs warning people they'd be filmed.
He films them, shouts a lot and soaks them with high power water guns.
I'm an angry bastard, and used to chuck water over the constant stream of wasters that used to congregate in the communal areas of my old flat.
I've no fear or shame.

It

Does the window open? Get a hose pipe.

Oops!

It's part of city living. Do you live in the city centre? Puke, piss & worse are present on my doorstep most weekends... I don't even even hear noise anymore, Niteclub / buskers / revellers.

Except one thing! What is that thing where young girls scream for no apparent reason? I don't remember doing it when I was young & crazy. Blood curdling screams. Day & night. For fun?

Leave the window open and a motion activated water sprayer.

I used to live between the pubs and the bus stops in Croydon. It was like a wildlife documentary and we left a baseball bat beside the door.

can you put a board over it?

Yabu. People should be free to piss and puke wherever they want. You chose to live there.

People should be free to piss and puke wherever they want. er, yes, right. The mark of a highly evolved society: people toileting everywhere.

What about a motion-sensor sprinkler/hose, set up so it's aiming out of the grate? Not sure if it's practical, but it would be satisfying.

Poor you! Is there a temporary "thing" like a rectangle of plastic that could be secured over/under the grate on Friday/Saturday nights?

I sympathise. I live opposite a bus stop and every fucking Sunday morning it's like the dregs of humanity have congregated there through the night. Pavement pizzas and worse.

Is this a London thing?

OP it's horrible and people have no right to do this to your property. However you have to be realistic. I live between the bars and local "Nite-Club" That's the price you have to pay.. Many people are badly behaved and we can't change that.
We can choose our location though, and I am guessing with shutters and a cellar you have some financial leeway to do that.

I live in a very unsophisticated part of the UK and life is very peaceful.

I live in a peaceful housing estate with open plan gardens. I have never- not once seen a single piece of litter in my garden or even discarded in the street. I have never heard unsociable noise outside.Not once. I have never seen and dog poop on the pavement in my street in the three years I have lived here.

There are better places to live.

Yes I agree, there are better places to live. So just get loads of money, uproot yourselves and toddle off. It's as easy as that!

This a real problem in town and city centres. I used to work in a theatre in the west end and we seriously considered attaching a plumbed in urinal to the outside of the building because the build up of urine on the bottom of our fire exit doors was causing them to rot away.

The only solution I can think of is a motion sensor light, a cctv camera and warning sings about said camera, although as you live in a conservation area (as do I) you may have to talk to the council about what they will allow.