Pub

[Trollmantroll]

AIBU To think that if dp has enough money to go to the pub they should have enough money to contribute to food and living expenses?

Is he not a cocklodger?? How much does he make as a photographer? Pays for Netflix?? What 7.50 a month?? It obviously suits you for school runs etc? Time for an honest conversation? Are you completely financially supporting him?

And how much does he get from being on call? Is he actually called out much?

Being on call is about 400 pcm. Then there are bonuses for call outs etc. The photography gig is sporadic too. Like I said it was more the timing.

So you work ft and they work pt. They do majority of home and child based jobs? You do majority of work out of the home jobs?

Am I right in understanding this?

What the previous poster said about you resenting him/her sounds about right.

How's your relationship I'm other respects - why have they huffed off today? I think you need to stop drip feeding.

Well the 400 should be in the family money pot??

What's the female equivalent of a cock lodger?

Right, well it is not okay for him to rely on your income whilst keeping his income to himself, however little it is.

First issue is that he needs to get a different job, since you are struggling to pay the bills. This has to be non-negotiable, provided his childcare responsibilities aren't more extensive than you have implied here.

Second issue is that all money earned should be going into one pot, bills paid first and the remainder allocated to savings or to individual spends/joint account.

Third issue is something only you can comment on: are you happy to share your income just as you want him to share his? This will involve some relinquishing of control on your part.

Why are you being v careful to not specify whether DP is male or female?

Does it matter whether DP is a man or a woman?

No it doesn't matter matter. That was my point?

I'm surprised a solicitor salary plus £400 pcm firefighter plus adhoc photography minus zero childcare costs Do not allow for more than £3 to spend in the pub once in a while.

toastytoastbear: I see.

Has the OP said how many kids they have?

Op has vanished. Did we not say what you wanted to hear?

Maybe they've forgotten they posted or hasn't been online today. They don't owe you posts ffs

Sorry was out. All comments appreciated. Thank you all. Have decided I was being unreasonable about the pub trip. Have to talk more about money (nicely)

Have you tried seeing a counsellor? If she's accusing you of financial abuse?

Hello OP this is your wife here.

Yes. How funny. Not.

I'm a long time poster. Posting on MN even before was with the OP.

Since I discovered this thread I've felt unable to use MN any more - as I'm being watched. Ridiculous.

The tale that's being presented in the thread above isn't accurate.

How totally and utterly bizzare.

So come on then what is the accurate side?

The night he's referring to I went to the local pub for a pint of coke (as I don't drink) with one of the mums from school. Hardly excessive.

I have worked part time (yes as as fire fighter) and also as another job which is seasonal - wedding industry. I also have the kids and house etc all of which he does minimum.

Search my name if you fancy. It's a good documentation of our utter clusterfuck of a relationship.