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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being unreasonable to carry on working with a broken foot?

33 replies

JasmineBuckles · 24/11/2016 23:54

Just got back from A&E, I've broken my second metatarsal and displaced my first, from a crush injury

I did this yesterday, hurt like fuck, have gone to work today in a physical job and although slow, in pain and limited, I can work.

I am self employed, so if I don't work, I have no money.

My partner has offered to subsidise an indefinite time off, but being absent means clients go elsewhere.

The pain is a 2 on the 1-10 scale when I'm not doing anything. A 6-7 when I am.

DP is adamant that I do not work until I heal, but I am capable of 90% of my work now, and want to do what I can.

I also would like to pay for Christmas presents myself, not because my partner has wanted to make up the shortfall because of my injury.

Aibu just to man up and get on with it?

OP posts:
EBearhug · 25/11/2016 00:00

Depends what you do. If you're desk-based, then no problem. If you walk around building sites and climb ladders or are a farmer, different matter. You say it's a physical job, and really only you can know what's involved.

Be aware that healing can make you tired, even without it being a physical job. Would you have flexibility to finish early if you needed to?

Rosae · 25/11/2016 00:04

I broke my foot. Caused now irreparable damage to it cos I didn't rest it as i should. Could you take on a temporary worker to help you? I wouldn't push it, feet are important things. How will your work suffer in the future if you did more damage to it?

mygorgeousmilo · 25/11/2016 00:05

Depends on the job, I've had a crushed metatarsal before. Not fun, but not the worst... really does depend on how much time you'll be on your feet etc. etc

Original poster
JasmineBuckles · 25/11/2016 00:10

My job is horse related. Big stupid animals that need riding and handling. My DP is absolutely against me going back to work, and would fill the financial gap quite happily, but I want our finances separate as I earn peanuts and he earns six figures. We live together and I contribute more than proportionally, what I don't want is a situation where he's keeping me.

OP posts:
pringlecat · 25/11/2016 00:10

Could you take someone on to help temporarily? If the injury is only painful when moving, perhaps you could supervise whilst seated? Even if your profit is tiny due to having to pay someone else, it may be worth it to keep the clients with you.

pringlecat · 25/11/2016 00:12

Posted before your update with more information.

So you earn peanuts and you think it's worth you risking permanent damage to your foot? In the nicest possible way, don't be so damn proud.

Accept the help graciously.

Filiboom · 25/11/2016 00:15

Do you have a boot to take the pressure off? I broke my foot in February and although my job is office based, I also have two small boys and the job is part time so not exactly sedentary. Keeping the boot on certainly helped it heal, but I should have kept it in tight laced shoes once I came out of it. My foot was very painful in the summer wearing sandals.

Don't treat pain (or lack of) as an indication of how you're doing. I walked 72 hours on a broken foot and 24 hours on a broken ankle. Neither hurt too much. That, combined with being fairly rubbish at following doctors' and physics' suggestions have left be with a very unstable ankle and achey foot (and boring shoes and and an inability to run as a sport/hobby).

Boring as it is, do rest it (but perhaps say you'll follow doctor's orders rather than DP's! (but do follow them)).

PickAChew · 25/11/2016 00:18

If you're in a physical job, you need to weigh off short term muddling through vs long term it never did heal quite right.

FriedSprout · 25/11/2016 00:19

But you decided to become partners because you care for each other. That includes helping each other out whenever and however you can surely?

Let him pay someone to cover your job and ensure you have a job and customers to go back to. Along with a properly and swiftly healed foot.

Hope you feel better soon

Original poster
JasmineBuckles · 25/11/2016 00:20

40% of my work I can do seated. I can't employ anyone as I am selling my unique skill set as a product.

By peanuts I mean compared to what DP earns. It's fine compared to average wage, enough to support myself on my own. I'm probably too proud, but I can't bear the thought of DP putting money in my account.

OP posts:
Filiboom · 25/11/2016 00:21

Likewise cross-posted. Definitely rest it and let it heal.

If you want to keep things separate, as pp suggests take someone on to keep business ticking over if necessary and if y I feel your being subsidised and don't want to be, can you take on extra house and/or Christmas admin (worth weight in gold!).

I have a sedentary job, not v sporty although love walking and climbing and hate how my broken ankle and foot holds me back. Even though I can do much of what I did before, it hurts. Although this doesn't stop me doing things, it perhaps should do and, in any event, is annoying.

I say this as someone who didn't rest up and regrets it. (Although, equally, totally get where you're coming from....)

PickAChew · 25/11/2016 00:21

And what fried sprout said.

Wolfiefan · 25/11/2016 00:21

I think you may need to take time out. I broke my ankle and carried on regardless. Big mistake!
How can you protect your foot when working with horses? What if you need to get out of the way in a hurry and can't? Would it invalidate any insurance you have if something went wrong? Any chance of just doing some tasks?
Lots of questions sorry!

Filiboom · 25/11/2016 00:24

Sorry - not that helpful. Message is essentially to do whatever you can to rest up. (And if you don't, make sure you can deal with the consequences - e.g. V achey foot. My broken foot hurts a lot, but really it is my unstable, but relatively pain free, ankle that stops me doing stuff (and led to broken foot in first place...).)

Spartak · 25/11/2016 00:24

I'm a physio and have seen people who have struggled on, sometimes without realising that there's a fracture. It's nearly always made it worse. If it's displaced and heals incorrectly, you could end up having to have it broken and re-set in the future to sort it out, with months off work.

If it was going to send you into financial difficulties and you'd struggle to feed you children, I could see why it would be a difficult decision. But unless there's a huge backstory that you're not mentioning, I don't understand what your pride at letting your partner help take care of you for a few weeks is more important than your long term health and wellbeing. It's not about him keeping you but about being part of a partnership surely?

Filiboom · 25/11/2016 00:25

And yes, what fried sprout said.

CockacidalManiac · 25/11/2016 00:31

I'd listen to the physio ^

Sybys · 25/11/2016 03:09

Presumably you'd want to help your partner and look prioritize their health if the boot (or crushing injury...) was on the other foot?

Blu · 25/11/2016 04:44

What has the doctor advised you to do?

Do you have any form of insurance or protection against loss of work due to injury?

Did this happen while you were doing your job?

madgingermunchkin · 25/11/2016 05:44

Horsey girl here, and in the politest way possible, stop being so bloody stupid.

You're not being a kept woman, you're injured, and the man you love wants to help you in anyway he can.

Not only that, but horses are dangerous and unpredictable and it only takes a split second of you not being able to react fast enough due to your injury for something worse to happen. I kept working with a broken foot, and it's never healed right.

Swallow your pride and get over yourself. Your clients will understand.

Booboostwo · 25/11/2016 06:01

Another horsey person here. It is not safe for you to handle or lunge horses with a broken foot. If you are not able to get out of the way fast enough or keep your balance you'll get injured more seriously.

As for riding while you are in principle seated you do need to use your legs and this may cause more damage to your ankle.

Do you know any other freelance grooms who could help you out and cover for you? They could do the basics and lunge if your clients are unwilling for others to ride, so at least the horses are kept ticking over and your jobs are kept going for you.

BratFarrarsPony · 25/11/2016 06:18

horsey person here, and I think you are being silly.

ConvincingLiar · 25/11/2016 06:36

If your partner is a partner, rather than a casual boyfriend/girlfriend then accept their kind offer of help. Don't ruin your foot.

Ladyformation · 25/11/2016 08:42

Another horsey person here, and whilst I totally understand where you're coming from, think of what an absolute nightmare it would be to do yourself permanent damage and be in pain whenever you work for the rest of your life.

I also think sportspeople and those who do physical jobs are tougher and used to pain, so what you rank as 6/7 pain might be doing more damage than you think.

If you can get someone in to do the 60% of your job that's physical, you should be able to retain clients and keep your incoming ticking over. Would you feel better if your DP invested in your business eg by paying for some temporary help, rather than giving you cash directly?

londonrach · 25/11/2016 08:58

Depends on the job. I continued working on a broken foot (first x ray didnt show a break) but my job is within nhs and very physical. The day after i couldnt get off the floor after treating someone in a wheelchair. Re xray and yes it was broken. Im sure i damaged it permanently by going to work that day. If i known it was broken id have never worked. Office job is different. Hope you heal quickly op. Sadly took me 3 years before the pain went (private acupuncture got rid of that pain overnight, never understood why but after 3 years of pain i was glad). Still niggles if it cold outside. Id call in sick today and rest it. You did need to be abit active as well. Hard balance.