to think that Christmas calories don't count?

[teafortoads]

I have always assumed that we are granted immunity from calories consumed on Christmas day, meaning I can start to fantasize over my Christmas day glutton list, safe in the knowledge it won't in any way shape or form derail my constant dieting. Am I being unreasonable?

Yanbu. It's fact.

Something to do with the effects of Christmas cheer on the metabolism.

YANBU. It's the law

Absolutely no calories count on Christmas Day, Boxing Day or you birthday. Everyone knows that!

Your*

It's a scientific fact that calories consumed on Christmas day disappear rather than turn to fat.

Just think of all the extra exercise you're doing with your mouth to eat Christmas dinner. That's not to mention lifting the turkey out if the oven, squats to look through the oven door and every mouthful is effectively a bicep curl. If you didn't eat more you'd be in danger of passing out.

I've also heard that calories consumed in secret or whilst standing up don't count either! I fully subscribe to these 'laws'

Yep! As well as calories from someone else's food.

It's not just calories, the sugar/fat/alcohol doesn't have any adverse effect on your body, it's part of the "magic" of Christmas.

YANBU. It's all part of the magic of Christmas