This is just Awful. Should I apologise?

[Runie1989]

I went to visit my friend I met recently. She lives in a beautiful coastal area and also has a house where I live.
I stayed with her for three days and she took me on a few vists to her favourite place.

I asked her if she could take me to a bridge which is quite famous actually and I wanted to look out of the view so she agree. We walked across it and went along a coastal path and stood on the rocks underneath.

I took out a picnic and we sat and looked at the view. I really enjoyed it eventhough it was a little cold!

When I got back to my
House I told our mutual friend about our trips and she's went as white a son a sheet.

It turns out the friend I visited had witnessed her brothers suicide from that bridge and his body was found on the rocks where we were sat having our picnic. It was 11 years ago now but was extremely
Traumatic for her as she witnessed the whole thing and saw his body on the rocks.

She obviously doesn't want to say anything and that's understandable so maybe I shouldn't?

I spent the whole time saying how beautiful the bridge is, the gorgeous views, how amazing a spot we had for our picnic.

I am feeling absolutely terrible and worse.

She knows I do not
Know about the death, she has never mentioned it to me.

My other friend says she regrets saying anything now and it's best I leave it.

I just hate the idea of making her feel bad and uncomfortable.
Would I be unreasonable to say nothing?

Evergreen you are lovely and I thought you were very generous to share your experiences

Yes, Evergreen, I am sorry that you had such a terrible experience.

Runie, I'm sorry, that doesn't even sound like something someone would even say in casual conversation. I wouldn't normally challenge anyone on threads but people have given you emotional advice. I have reported. Again, sorry, but this is bollocks.

Evergreen you would be wrong to presume I have not experience a traumatic experience and that has upset me deeply.

I too have suffered bereavement and in traumatic circumstances (doesn't mean I wouldn't know how to handle for this circumstance) this is why you should not ask me to remove the thread. I am able to make my own decisions and I have made my own educated opinion to have this thread in the first place. It's just annoying and patronising.

I'm not coming back to argue, I just think people need to leave it up to mumsnet hq and the OP, I would never dream of telling someone what to do with their own thread, they're not 5.

Agree, Claus. It's very 'off'.

Claus, report if you want. I've had my advice now, I'm not arguing about it.

Just leave it - she had the choice to tell you and she chose not to. I think you should respect that.

Gosh, how awful - for you, for her.

I think if she had wanted you to know, she would have told you. I think it's important to respect the boundaries she has chosen here and not allude to the tragedy that took place there in any way.

I would, however, buy and send a gorgeous big bouquet of flowers to thank her for the visit, and tell her what a lovely time you had.

Runie if you know your friend does not look at Mumsnet, then I think its completey fine to post here.

I would not tell your friend. It would put an awkward and embarrassing slant on the lovely time you shared. At the moment your friend believes that you do not know about the details of her brother's death, so she believes you had a lovely time when you visited. If she now finds out you've been told, se will feel awful about how you are feelinh. It would be an awkward situation.

If your friend felt emotional or upset about visiting that locaiton, she would not have taken you there. End of. Even if she did not want to tell you about it - she could have just said 'I don't fancy that' (or given an excuse) and suggested something else to do instead.
Perhaps she likes visiting that place because it makes her feel close to her brother? Or because it provides some kind of closure? The fact is, you just don't know. Everyone is different and would deal with these things differently.

I'd just leave it be and not mention it x

Interesting too you can write so much better now than in your OP (no more random Capitals like this
and paragraphs like
It's Poetry but Not really.)

TheClaus Really? These are the things you want to focus on from this thread?

Give me strength

Don't say anything, you were not to know, and she did not mention it, or suggest somewhere else.

Thank you luckbealady and redbull.

I've been in a similar position to your friend with a spot holding bad memories - to add new memories to a beautiful, but sad, spot can be quite comforting.

Going waaaay back, I wasn't suggesting gas lighting was the intention of your suggestion Georgethethird just that as she read it she might feel manipulated.