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AIBU?

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Original poster

Farted on bus loudly, rude comments? AIBU to feel this was unnecessary?

354 replies

SuperFlyHigh · 20/11/2016 11:44

This is an embarrassing post. On a bus (not crowded) yesterday. I had a dodgy stomach that appeared during the morning with loud farts.

Unfortunately during part of the journey I let off a loud and a bit smelly fart. Cue two women nearby one saying loudly "that's disgusting, who would smell like that, who would do that, dirty bitch" with a pointed look at me and looking away. I got off the bus feeling a bit embarrassed went to a toilet in a department store, went to the toilet and cleaned myself up (it wasn't as bad as I thought it was) got hand sanitizer and took some anti-diarrhoea pills.

AIBU to think this one woman was really rude or am I being over sensitive? It was one of those routemaster buses she said something about opening the windows but they don't have windows... That's not my fault and I had no idea my stomach was so bad.

Thanks

OP posts:
AnUtterIdiot · 20/11/2016 13:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

treaclesoda · 20/11/2016 13:22

I feel a bit sorry for the OP, because it's pretty mortifying to develop a stomach upset in public - if you're stuck on a bus you can't exactly dash for the toilets.

Felt less sorry for her when she talked about how she would have lamped the woman if she'd felt up to it Hmm Perhaps a better approach would have been to explain that you couldn't help it as you were unwell?

That said, on mumsnet there are significant numbers of posters who will say that anyone who uses a public toilet (or a friend's toilet or a workplace toilet) for anything bowel related is also a dirty bitch, so if you're caught short outside of your own home you're going to be judged, no matter how well you try to deal with it. Which is horrible news for those who have bowel problems. Sad

YouWereAlwaysPerfect · 20/11/2016 13:23

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe I think people think she is a troll because the whole subject is just really inappropriate not something that many people would enjoy reading, if what happened to her happened me to, I know for sure I would keep it to myself 😳

It's just something you don't want to tell the whole world about.

Pipistrelle40 · 20/11/2016 13:23

Poor you OP. Other passengers should consider themselves lucky you were not physically 'ill'. Bus would have been taken out of service and they would have had to wait for next one. Gawd have they never heard of putting a hanky to their nose and breathing through their gob.

ChocolateWombat · 20/11/2016 13:25

I agree that the polite thing to do in this situation is ignore and surreptitiously move away if possible.

It is rude to comment at all, but I wouldn't be surprised by the odd look or raised eyebrow passing round the bus.

When you spend time in a public place, especially a confined one, this kind of thing WILL happen. It's just one of those things. Etiquette says we try not to do it (and most people won't fart by choice on a crowded bus) but we should also recognise it's sometimes unavoidable and show some compassion.

Saucery · 20/11/2016 13:25

Why on earth are you reading it then, YouWere? It's just bizarre to sit on a thread you find personally distasteful and act like the OP includes shitloads of detail about shit, which it doesn't.
Slow news day for the Perpetually Offended, is it?

hmcAsWas · 20/11/2016 13:28

Difficult one. I sympathise - I had an upset stomach on Friday and it was painful, uncomfortable and windy. Fortunately I was at home alone.

If I had been you on the bus, I would have been upset by the woman's comments but at the same time I would have had to acknowledge that if I had been her I too would have loudly articulated my disgust. Similar to another poster - I am very sensitive to smells and bad odours make me retch

FabulouslyGlamourousFerret · 20/11/2016 13:28

Alexa why do you even open threads about shit piss and farts? It's quite clear in the title what it's about .... take your 'pride & standards' and flush them down your pristine toilet!

... I always wondered what type of person bleached their anus, I think it's dawning on me now GrinGrin

Pipistrelle40 · 20/11/2016 13:30

^^
This re arse bleaching

iwouldgoouttonight · 20/11/2016 13:36

AcrossthePond55 I agree. I also have coeliac disease and IBS and unlike some others on here I do not have bowels of steel and if I need to fart I need to fart. I cannot physically hold it in. I'd also hoped that if it happened in public people would be grown up enough to handle it sensitively. It's a fart for God's sake, everyone does it. How do people manage to leave the house if the smell of a fart is so unbearable?!

It really worries me because my DS has a medical condition which makes him doubly incontinent. His friends have all been great about it, really discreet and not drawn attention to it. But it seems adults can be much meaner so I'm worried about him when he has to go out in the world on his own.

OP sorry you've had such a hard time on here, YANBU the women on the bus sound horrible. Hope you're feeling better.

Farmmummy · 20/11/2016 13:40

Oh op I have Ibs and literally cannot hold them sometimes despite my best efforts and they would often kill people within a 10ft radius (I'm a cat blamer although i suspect dh knows rightly as the cat doest go everywhere with us Blush so I sympathise. Fwiw I don't think they had any right to call you a dirty bitch and while i probably would have mumbled an apology on the sound their comments would have led to a row as where did compassion understanding or at least the fact that everybody does it sometimes go?

crabbiearses · 20/11/2016 13:41

i vomited on a bus a few years ago , i had to be sick into my bag i had with me, there was terrible smell and i'll never forget the look of horror and mutterings from people, i got off bus and had a laugh about it later . Id be pretty disgusted if someone inflicted their body smells on me but hey onwards and upwards.

Joanna0685 · 20/11/2016 13:41

Sorry to be uncompassionate, but at this time of year winter vomiting bugs are around so really if you had diarrhea you shouldn't have been on the bus at all.

Farmmummy · 20/11/2016 13:42

to be truthful i would probably have smiled at you and said for once its not me Grin

dovesong · 20/11/2016 13:43

How rude and unpleasant of them! I would have just ignored and felt bad for you - no one does that on purpose. Feeling like that on public transport sounds like hell.

Cromwell1536 · 20/11/2016 13:45

I was also raised to believe that one never embarrasses or humiliates another person in public, not even a stranger. In the case of a huge fart or incontinence problem, the polite (or compassionate) thing to do would be to look away or walk away.

This. Those women were rude. Actually, they were absolutely ignorant, and very low-class. Yuk.

TBH, how can a fart be rude? If someone walks up to you and deliberately lets one go 'as a joke', or lets one go as a way of distracting from what you are saying (I - very briefly - had a boyfriend who did this - he didn't last long, I can tell you!) then that person is rude. Someone being caught out as a result of a dodgy stomach, and mortified by the result, that's not rude.

Hope you're feeling better now. Next time, jump off the bus double-quick time!

dovesong · 20/11/2016 13:47

(although I'll add that as an emetophobe there's absolutely nothing that fills me with horror more than someone actually pooing themselves or being sick on public transport - the taxis and ubers home after a certain time make it a pretty expensive phobia to have)

KoalaDownUnder · 20/11/2016 13:48

Can't believe that some posters are justifying this. Calling a complete stranger a 'dirty bitch' to her face for an involuntary bodily function.

Shameful.

StomaSavedMyLife · 20/11/2016 13:49

I'm really appalled at all the judgey responses on here. You cannot know why someone is farting, and to suggest that everyone has control if they want to is nonsense.

If you wish to improve your knowledge if the world around you, please read on. If you are happy to remain small-minded and unkind, and think that farting is 'dirty', ignore and continue to wallow in your self-satisfied ignorance.

I have a colostomy. This is where the large bowel exits the body through a hole (a stoma) in the stomach wall. In may case my rectum was removed entirely and the stoma is permanent. I had cancer. My stoma saved my life. It means that my poo leaves my body through this hole in my stomach, and empties into a pouch which covers it. Wind also leaves through the stoma. There is no sphincter muscle and no way of controlling farts. None.

I take great care with my diet, and avoid foods which may make my output loose or more windy. But I cannot control it precisely. Sometimes it farts at the most inappropriate moments. Sometimes it's more than a mere fart, but a full blown trumpet. And sometimes, yes, poo is coming out at the same time as the trumpet. But safely into a pouch fitted with a charcoal filter so there is at least very little chance of a smell. Less chance of a smell than most of you, tbh.

I mostly act as if nothing has happened at all, and carry on with what I am doing. But knowing that so many of you are so instantly judgemental about hearing someone fart makes me quite sad. I'm happy to be open about the fact I have a colostomy, but it doesn't generally come up in conversation. I'll educate anyone I have a chance to but sadly so many people are so embarrassed by natural bodily functions they would rather not know.

SmellySphinx · 20/11/2016 13:51

I agree it's a really twatty thing to say out loud to someone or about someone within earshot. I would have found it hard to stifle a laugh to be honest but would have understood your discomfort so wouldn't have made it obvious. These women obviously are the only two humans on Earth that were born without the ability to fart Hmm or they are those women who go into public lavs and fart to their hearts content like a distressed duck stuck in the U-bend and dont give it a second thought cos well, it isn't a public place either is it...

Or maybe they're just cunts? (They are)
I'd actually be kind of glad they were there to smell it considering and I hope it was really bad too.

I fart, I burp, I shit and so does eveyone else. No, it doesn't smell like perfume, it smells like shit cos it comes from your dirt box. Wish people would get over it. It's not as if you bent over in front of their faces and let rip spraying shit everywhere (should have though)

If you're unfortunate to be out and about with bad guts I feel bad for you, it's horrible and painful.

You're certainly not a dirty bitch

user1471518295 · 20/11/2016 13:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

user1471518295 · 20/11/2016 13:55

Sorry - I have reported myself for stupidity in putting my post in the middle of another thread!

hollyatchristmas · 20/11/2016 13:56

Sphinx I am so sorry you had to read all this nonsense it will definitely make me think when I smell something. That you can't know what a persons been through.

exWifebeginsat40 · 20/11/2016 13:56

the name calling was horrible. so was guffing on the bus. I do not want to smell other people's insides.

unless there is more to this ie a condition like ibs. if I had a dodgy stomach I wouldn't be breaking wind with alacrity on public transport.

also, there is nothing funny about farts. ever.

FranklyMeDeer · 20/11/2016 13:56

Wow there are some really uptight people round here aren't there? How hard is it to understand that people don't always have control of these things? Is a fart really so distasteful that we mustn't discuss it, here, on a forum where we discuss childbirth, violence, sex, illness all the time? HmmConfused. The OP didn't start the thread to discuss her bowels, she needed to talk about some undeserved verbal abuse she was on the receiving end of.

OP I'm sorry this happened to you. The women were out of order. Hope you're feeling better now.