I'm just after honest opinions as to who is BU here so please don't flame me, im tired and my brain is frazzled so just trying to get perspective.
We have 2 DC, oldest is 2 and is a truly awful sleeper. Youngest is 12 weeks and isn't a bad sleeper for her age. She is EBF if that's relevant.
Before youngest was born I always did nightshift with toddler and early mornings as I'm a sahm. Except in very late pregnancy DH did do a bit so I could rest. We agreed once baby was born that DH would deal with toddler at night and i would tend to baby due to the breastfeeding. DH works full time so I do also help with the toddler, getting up with him every morning without fail from 4.30 onwards. DH does deal with him during the night but its more 50/50 now I would say. I go to him if I hear him unless im already feeding the baby. Obviously I deal with baby. DH has never once got up with her in the night. She's in a side sleeper crib next to me so I hear her before she's properly awake and tend to her.
So the problem is this really...every morning DH throws a huge strop over lack of sleep. He usually goes in to spare bed and goes back to bed and is rarely up before 9 on weekends. I've never had or even been offered to do this since DD was born. During the week its the same story really, I get up with kids whenever DS is up, DH goes back to bed until he absolutely has to get up for work.
He shouts at DS for having had a bad night yet doesn't do anything about it - I've said (and have on the occasions that I go to him during the night) that we need to. Stick to a rigid strategy for dealing with him ie putting him back in his own bed if he gets in with us etc but DH just can't accept that, we all then have a rubbish night, DH wakes up, has a strop, shouts at DS, DS cries, DH goes back to bed then im left to deal with tearful, overtired toddler and12 week old baby having had not a lot of sleep myself.
Now I know that im a sahm and that DH works but i am just very tired... Who is BU here? My whole body aches with tiredness and I feel very tearful and anxious and I cant get perspective to see if its me or him.
DH is always apologetic when he rolls out of bed and usually buys me something it takes me out for lunch.... But that's not the same as sleep which is what I need.
Sorry for the ramble and moan. By all means tell me to pull my big girl pants up and get on with it if im being a whinger!