To be annoyed that mother-in-law is doing my kids' Christmas stocking?

[Nickname1980]

Ok first world problem.

This is really bugging me and I think I am being unreasonable but I can't help it!

Anyway. I made my DCs' Christmas stockings this year, a bad knit job, but I'm proud of them as I can't make anything much. Anyway, yesterday, MIL says "oh I found my kids' old stockings! So I'm going to fill them up for your children on Christmas Day. You can hang them at the end of their beds in the morning" blah blah blah.

Immediately I replied "oh thank you" because I was surprised and I am basically a people pleaser and didn't want to say no.

She then said it would bring so much joy to her and her mother (their great granny) to do that together, that they've already started buying the gifts.

Then I told her that I'd already knitted the kids' stockings because I really don't want her to take over. She replied "oh well, these are heirlooms!"

Am I being mean that I don't want her to do their stockings? That she had her chance to do it when her kids were little and that it's my turn now?

She does a lot for us, and tries really hard, and utterly dotes on my DC. Am I just being totally selfish and should I let her do this?

I know. Total first world problems. I wonder if I should just feel lucky that she wants to be so involved?!? But I just feel a bit annoyed that she's trying to take over.

[SILfoundmyusername]

Labelling from santa depends on how you do gifts. We do stockings from santa, all other gifts under the tree are from people who they are from.

[Dee310562]

My daughters do their childrens stockings at their house and they have ones I originally made for their Mums at my house. Any MIL who can't get that it's fair that way is obviously not worth worrying about.

[DaveGrohlsMrs]

My mum does a wee stocking for my daughter at her house and that is fine with me. We have our own stockings at our house and then another at my parent's house. It doesn't bother me at all doing it that way, but if she told me I was having her stocking at our house I think I would be annoyed as it is my turn to do it as a parent for my children. If she did the stockings at her house and let you and your hubby do your own thing at your house, I wouldn't see a problem with it.

[Smithy66]

Do both, life's too short x

[derxa]

I don't know the answer but I'm sure a pp didn't really want to continue the tradition of Satan

[Sweets101]

I think from a DC's point of view they would probably find 2 stockings really quite appealing.
And I can imagine a GM and GGM getting a lot of joy out of it.
So, for those two reasons I couldn't mind much.

[Madeyemoodysmum]

Derexa. Ha ha. Spotted that one too

[Skinidin]

You should read the chapter about Christmas stockings in "Mrs Miniver" by Jan Struther!

Mrs M reflects that all the hard work and pain was more than justified in the precious time when her children came into her room and opened their stockings on her bed.

Written in about 1938 - still spot on today.

This is your time!

[KingLooieCatz]

Skinidin has it, the deepest Christmas joy is when they climb on your bed and you get to watch them unwrap the silly bits that cost little and were neither asked for nor expected. However you play it, that joy is yours.

DS usually like a young spaniel with two tails to wag at this point of the day. He doesn't tend to wake early Christmas Day so it can happen that I'm up first and have a cup of tea going during the unwrapping of stockings in bed. Christmas does NOT get better than this.

Agree with Bert there are ways round this that keep everyone happy.

[slenderisthenight]

I think two stockings would have diluted the magic for us. Some things work best in moderation.

We talk a lot about 'the magic' of Christmas being lost in a flurry of consumerism. Well, this is how it happens. Everyone wants to give too many presents. Not necessarily the best way to teach children or to give them pleasure at the end of the day.

[Marynary]

Speak for yourself slenderisthenight. My children are certainly not spoilt or lost in a "flurry of consumerism" and whether or not they get two stockings won't effect that.

[septembersunshine]

I would want to do my own too for my dc. We had a new baby in the summer and I got a lot of pleasure out of ordering them all new personalised stockings! Can't wait to fill them too. I think it's so sweet they want to do this but they should give them to the kids in their own house.

[slenderisthenight]

Good for you mary but the majority view is that many children are.

[MrEBear]

Slender I have to agree everyone wants to give too much, those that can afford it do it, those that can't afford it feel pressure to spend more than they should. Truthfully I would rather my kid got an extra gift from Granny (or £10 for their bank) that they will appreciate than an extra stocking worth of tat.
Surely there are only so many things people manage to find to fill stockings with? I aim for a mix of sweets, undies, small toys. But really i hate the idea of stuff that equals clutter that i will be binning / sending to landfill within a few months.

[Joinourclub]

I totally agree bear. 3 lots of stocking stuff cluttering up my house and then ending up in landfill pains me ( I say 3 because both my MIL and Mother have decided to do stockings). I understand tat they want the pleasure of giving the DGc presents , but I don't get why they feel the need to 'play Santa'.

[winterisnigh]

join three stockings

I have to say luckily this is one thing Mil doesn't want to do as she doesn't do stockings in her home country. However i would think my DP were bonkers has this been something they wanted to do!

Why a stocking per see, specifically why? Whats wrong with simply handing over gifts? Or even a special Granny sack?

[PterodactylToenails]

I agree with you. Although it is nice to have something passed down I also think some jobs are for the parents to see to. My mother has always tried to overtake special moments or she tries to get in before me and her controlling ways have caused so many arguments over the years. She has had her turn and now it is my turn to enjoy making memories with MY children.

[HeCantBeSerious]

She has had her turn and now it is my turn to enjoy making memories with MY children.

Horrible sentiment. My parents adore my kids. I'm happy for them to share in the memory making. (Perhaps because I don't possess this absolute obsession with "Santa magic".) And despite getting 2 stockings a year each, my kids still only have the 1 head and 10 fingers and toes each.

[slenderisthenight]

despite getting 2 stockings a year each, my kids still only have the 1 head and 10 fingers and toes each.

[MrEBear]

Serious your kids get 2 stockings. What do you actually put in them? Do kids think they are both filled by Santa.

[winterisnigh]

There are so many other things I would love to do if I am ever blessed with GC and young enough to enjoy them, take them out somewhere over xmas, perhaps buy them special christmas dress or take them to special toy shop and allow them to choose something, I would love to find something I do with my GC that only I do, and they remember that...."granny always used to take us x" etc. Or by them expensive patent shoes something...Take them to special afternoon tea.

I have no interest at all in replicating stockings. I have no interest in muscling in on cakes or anything like that!

There is sooooooooooooooooooooo much other stuff any granny can do, why why why replicate.

[Jiggl]

One stocking here, Santa fills it, along with leaving one present and a surprise.

Then DS gets a present from mum and dad, both sets of grandparents, and various aunties and uncles. It's quite the haul by the end so we constantly remind people to keep it small and inexpensive - books are always welcome as are clothes.

I want Christmas to be about sharing family time, rather than gifts. We work full time so the best gift we can give DS is taking two full weeks off work and hanging out with him watching movies with popcorn or going for woodland walks or whatever.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

Another option would be putting the gifts grandma and great grandma have chosen into the stocking that the OP does.

My MIL did this at least once - she had found a perfect stocking filler and asked if it could go in the boys' stockings, so I wrapped it in the specific paper kept for FC, and put it in - I didn't feel that she was overstepping at all, by asking this.

[bruffin]

Winterisnigh,my mum did all that stuff and provided a stocking. Kids loved her stocking. They adored her.
They did not grow up spoiled. In fact the opposite. They are 19 and 21. They even got nominated for YOPEY awards.

[HeCantBeSerious]

Serious your kids get 2 stockings. What do you actually put in them? Do kids think they are both filled by Santa.

Not up to now (they're 8 and 6) (because we haven't "done santa".) But even if we had, I wouldn't have any issue with my mum doing them. If anything it helps limit the amount of tat they get if all of my parents' gifts are in their stocking.

They usually get some chocolate, a DVD or cinema voucher, bath stuff, books, puzzles, socks, notebooks and smelly pens type stuff. All deeply inoffensive and much appreciated by the kids.