I've lied to get a house

[harveyyspecter]

And now I'm up shit creek. Don't ask why I did it because I panicked and my mouth started moving before I engaged my brain.

I'm trying to rent a house but no one will accept that I'm on housing benefit and will be going to work next year when dd goes to nursery. So I had a viewing the other day and when they asked about work I said I'm going to work in January. This is partly true.

When she asked if I have a job to go to I said yes I have no idea why and now I'm in a mess!

I know I'm AIBU but help!!

Hurray! It's lovely to read a thread that has been resolved so happily!

New issue when will it end?!

One of my (set) shifts is midweek and finishes late. I didn't think it would be an issue because dd's dad could have her. However he's now told me that he can only do every other week because he works nights.

Wibu to ask them if I can swap shifts every other week due to childcare or is this really cheeky considering I haven't even started yet?

Anyone else who can help with the late shift? how late? I'd be getting my feet under the table if I could before broaching swops. You might even find someone happy to do it at work. DD's dad could/should help pay for a good childminder/nanny for the nights he can't do - especially since you seem to be standing on your own feet. Is he paying anything to the DD?

I'd be finishing at 11 so too late for any other friend or family member to help.

He does pay child maintenance but he acts like he's doing me a favour by doing so.

I'm quite pissed off that dd's dad refuses to even consider asking his work to swap shift every other week when I know that they're quite flexible in that respect, but fully expects me to ask my employer before I even start! It's time he did his share and swapped things around to look after dd. It's like he thinks it's my duty.

He told me to reject the job offer and find something else

He's trying to control you, by using your child as a weapon

Harvey Any local babysitters who you could use until you're in the job a couple of months and then ask about swapping shifts?

He is. I wish I didn't have to rely on him for childcare but I don't have any family or friends who can look after her. No babysitters

Often people are more willing to help than you realise. Have a really good think about friends, neighbours, neighbours teenager. Try asking, you never know.

Tell him you need this job to secure a new place for HIS DAUGHTER to live.

He either looks after her when you need to work or he pays 'sitters agency'.

The other thing you could do is ask the employer if they're looking to fill any other times. If they ask why, explain that your controlling ex is now refusing to have his daughter at those times and it'll cost you a fortune to hire a babysitter, but you will if you need to, but didn't think it would hurt to ask just in case.

I agree I'd stress my utter reliability to the employer and ask if anything could be arranged -
I'd also ask if they knew of anyone else that had arranged childcare for these hours that you could approach. Is it going to sink you to hire a babysitter? They can be found through various agencies. Your ex is a pig...but that's presumably why he's an ex!

Off main topic - but landlords with no insurance are clearly quite happy to pay the costs if the tenant stops paying ( no rent, six months to evict, two grand costs), or if the place is maliciously wrecked (tenant is a legal occupier, no other comeback), drug dealers move in and wreck it, or even if the place burns down( there was a thread about this).

So clearly some very rich landlords about.

specialsubject.

No I save the cash I would have spent. It's a risk. Were I rich I would be living in a bigger, nicer house.

I obviously have ll buildings insurance. But not contents or insurance against non payment/eviction. Any property damage would be covered. You're confusing two types of insurance in your post.

Op your ex is a complete arse. I would try and find someone to help out. Anyone there, who could help - what about your ex's family?

Ex's family don't live locally unfortunately. My dad lives local but goes to bed at 9 or something so wouldn't be able to. I'm really stuck. This jobs nothing special but its going to make the world of difference to mine and dd's situation.

My contents cover for my normal house covers the legal fees I'd need to evict anyone, but in all honesty it's £1500 I would pursue the tenants to their grave to recover. Or their guarantor .... Done that before.

does it stop your dad going to bed at 9? Presumably your DC is asleep at least by 8? Parents go to bed whilst their children are asleep so your Dad doesn't have to wait up. I think you have to lean on someone to make it happen, most of my friends who work have a bit of GP help.

I don't have a car and my dad gets up really early for work so dd couldn't stay over. The only solution to this is that my ex swaps his shifts or I find a babysitter. Paying a babysitter would mean I'm going to work just to pay her.

What's access arrangements like with DDs dad ? Formalised or not ? It's so hard my ex ought to have his kids more, I find it impossible to work really other than from home, kills me when I have to and mine are a lot older. He'll simply have to step up if he wants his daughter to have any sort of quality of life. Can you have a calm conversation with him ?

Don't worry too much about finding childcare until you know for sure you'll get the job. At that point you can tell them that you have an issue with one shift per fortnight and ask if there is any flexibility.

Do you know if they will tell you when you have your final interview on Friday or will you have to wait?

i agree re focusing on getting the job first. Is your ex taking advantage of any flexibility from you to do his job? That could be used as leverage if there is anything.

I don't blame you in the slightest. Council housing is in short supply, everyone knows this, so private renting is sometimes the only option. But they don't except hb. What are you meant to do, live on the streets? So you told a little porky, show me the person who has never ever told a lie? Fake a reference, get a friend or old manager tod o one. Do what you gotta do to get a roof over your head.

I always work around him and let him choose when he has dd. I've cancelled loads of things for his benefit too. It's about time he compromised.

Great news! Don't blame you for bending the truth a bit!

well, that's got to be over unless he can help you out harvey. You need to make it clear you'll pursue a formal split so that you have certainty about when you can work if he can't accommodate you working which benefits his DC. Sounds like leverage to me. Good luck!