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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder when Mumsnet stopped being a place for mums?

268 replies

Fenced · 19/11/2016 04:00

I used to frequent the site years ago and have come back recently because I became a mum again! However, whilst I am all for equality, the site seems to be full of people who aren't mums or aren't even parents! (and a good few who are journalists hunting for stories!).

I would never suggest anyone be excluded from the warmth, breadth of knowledge or bat shit crazy hysteria that the site offers, I was just wondering when it stopped being a place mainly for mums?

(I am not suggesting dads or non parents aren't welcome, just curious as to when the shift happened?).

OP posts:
VintagePerfumista · 19/11/2016 07:36

OP a mate of yours Jupiter? Because you seem to be adding a hell of a lot of meaning to her OP.

hazeyjane · 19/11/2016 07:36

Why are there two fucking threads?

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 19/11/2016 07:38

OP said fuck all about political or social views - are you perhaps a little hard of understanding?

She said we were all equal, which was nice of her as it is the equivalent of 'I'm not racist but...'

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 19/11/2016 07:39

Jupiter are you in fact the OP? Because you seem to know more about what she meant than anyone else does

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 19/11/2016 07:39

And do you excuse men for being 'a little rapey' too?

Houseofplumroots · 19/11/2016 07:39

You're over invested luv. Who cares Confused

Adnerb95 · 19/11/2016 07:39

Blimey that escalated quickly. "Nasty, goady, superior" - how the sensitive flowers get all that from what I thought was a sensitively-worded OP with a perfectly valid question is beyond me.
Some people need to get a life.

Jupiter2Mars · 19/11/2016 07:40

"Whilst I am all for equality"

HearTheThunderRoar · 19/11/2016 07:40

My DD is almost 18, so I can't give an awful lot of parenting advice for babies / young children etc as it's outdated and I'm probably from a different parenting generation. And tbh I don't want to spend my whole time on here dishing out advice / talking about other people's children.

I come on here for the company mainly during the evenings, as I'm single parent and DD is fairly independent now.

ilovesooty · 19/11/2016 07:41

Who'd have thought it would come to this

For fuck's sake.

VintagePerfumista · 19/11/2016 07:42

"some people need to get a life"

Like maybe an OP whose post is anything but sensitive.

The woman whose only child killed themselves. Should she no longer post? The woman whose infertility breaks her heart? Should she fuck off elsewhere so our OP can talk prams with other mummies hun The woman who has had a stillbirth?

She fucking needs educating, that's what she needs.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 19/11/2016 07:42

Jupiter 'Whilst I'm all for equality' - so what's your point? Where does it mention social or political views. It's the typical 'not trying to be rude but...' comment

Jinglebellsandv0dka · 19/11/2016 07:43

FFS liv take a breath! This is the second thread where I've seen you on your high horse.

If threads get you so round up maybe you should not get so invested and step away.

The site has changed. As with everything else - it's evolved but I'm guessing that's more to do with the 'brand' advertising and money than to do with equality and inclusion.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 19/11/2016 07:43

Some people need to stop telling rape victims that it's okay to be a bit rapey and there was obviously more to it.

VintagePerfumista · 19/11/2016 07:44

Ha ha, "I'm all for equality" is a bit like "I'm not a racist but"

Jupiter2Mars · 19/11/2016 07:44

Livid - no, thank God, this thread is not my problem.
I've seen too many of these threads to be so stupid as to start one about how MN is changing.

Jinglebellsandv0dka · 19/11/2016 07:46

Did the op actually say that though or are you adding your own take on it again?

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 19/11/2016 07:46

So I'm on my high horse but the GF that made those comments on the other thread is fine? Lovely Smile

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 19/11/2016 07:47

OP used the actual words 'a bit rapey ' and suggested that there was more to it and that there must have been a history of S&M - she obviously doubted the OP of that thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2784286-My-husband-only-has-sex-with-me-when-Im-asleep

GinIsIn · 19/11/2016 07:48

Jinglebells nope - the OP said EXACTLY that, hence a lot of us feeling that mums and non-mums alike should be welcome on MN rather than rape apologists.... Hmm

Jupiter2Mars · 19/11/2016 07:49

Livia it's not good forum etiquette to try to merge 2 threads in this way. If you have a problem with the views expressed by the op on another thread, then why not write about it on the other thread instead of this one where you are the only person talking about rape?

GinIsIn · 19/11/2016 07:50

Jupiter are you SURE you aren't the OP? Hmm

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 19/11/2016 07:50

No it's not but someone else brought it up on each thread and it shows the OP to be a GF

To wonder when Mumsnet stopped being a place for mums?
evrybuddy · 19/11/2016 07:50

For me, and I'm sure many contributors, the key thing on any message board is to get a response to your issue.

When I was having my driveway done and trying to work out what I needed, I posted in Mumsnet Property but people didn't have the specialist/technical knowledge.
I found a site about Paving which had a forum and asked my question there.
That site also had a message board which included TV, gardening - lots of general stuff the professional paving people might also have in their lives.
The site was 'meant' for driveway/construction professionals but they were open to helping diyers.

When I've got car issues, I often look/post on Pistonheads.
This very big message board also has all of the same forums as Mumsnet. I suppose it was originally attractive to men (stereotypically) and that's still reflected in a general sense in the type of responses you get and the focus of the knowledge on the board.

I've also posted on Gardening forums and Alzheiner's forums which have all also had the 'general life' TV etc forums which Mumsnet has.

The reason I often use Mumsnet over the more 'specialist' forum is because sometimes I need an answer to a question which a car, driveway or dementia specialist won't necessarily be the best person to answer.

Sometimes those boards attract a kind of user whose specialist interests are mainly all they're interested in and I wouldn't get an answer to a more 'general life' question.

However, on Mumsnet, becaue there is no 'specialist' knowedge required - ie. all you have to have been able to do is pull someone, and get knocked up (it's not Mastermind! being glib!) - the range of knowledge can be very broad - most people can fuck but not everyone can lay a driveway and so on.

So, when I want to buy a washing machine, or get an answer to a very general question about what's it like to live in Catford - Mumsnet is the place to be!

I wouldn't get the broad response I want, from Mens Healthers, or Dementia experts, or Pavers or Gardeners - so if I broaden my sample population out to anyone who can shag or even just, anyone! -( we've all had parents) - I have a better chance of getting a response.

That's why I sometimes use Mumsnet over specialist boards - so in the end - to answer the OP - being a 'parent' does not make one 'special' - it's just a normal thing made 'special' (by whom and why I'd be interested in knowing?) - it's not a specialist subject, if we're not all parents then we've all had them - it means you might have a place to live and a car and a job and might have (or want) some general knowledge that could be useful to others.

PurpleDaisies · 19/11/2016 07:51

Ha ha, "I'm all for equality" is a bit like "I'm not a racist but"

Spot on.

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