To think the headteacher has screwed me over?!

[PriscillatheKing]

I reported something going on in DDs class. Nothing major but not something small and silly.

Head spoke to the children and called the parents in and she told them it was me who reported it?!

Why would she do that? Surely she could have just said "we've had a report?!"

It's gone down like a lead balloon at school.

Exactly what Ginmummy1 said. If the HT agreed it needed to stop, then the school should take ownership of it, not having a word with the class on behalf of the OP. If the school felt it wasn't an issue, then a quick reply saying they were aware but wouldn't be taken any action would have sufficed.

Really bad form for the HT to have dropped you in it. No need for that at all, she just had to say that there had been a report about XYZ happening and it needed to stop.

Don't blame you for being pissed off, but if other parents are sniffy with you over something that sounds quite reasonable (even without clear context) then that says a LOT more about them than it does about you!

You have little choice but to see how things go, you suspect that there will be awkwardness at pick up time but only time will tell and its possible that other parents will actually be relieved that someone said something. However, if you are made to feel awkward by the other parents then I think it is fully justified to write to the chair of governors about the situation and suggest that guidance is given about how to deal with these situations without making the person who contacted the school a pariah.

We don't know that the HT agreed with the complaint, we just know that the HT felt it sufficiently interesting to discuss it further with the children.

"Hello kids, I've heard that you all have been doing the mannequin challenge, no idea what it is, can you tell me more?"
...
.. "My mum says it's inappropriate for school"
...
"Oh, hmm, that sounds fine, carry on."

Doesn't say anything about the head agreeing that it's inappropriate, just that they talked to the children about it. But it meets all the information we have on the story, the context is important.

It's not dabbing or the mannequin challenge.

It's not even really what they were doing (copying something they didn't understand) it was her over the top reaction to it.

Think along the lines of "kids stole a rubber, HT phoned the police". They weren't stealing anything by the way! And the police were very much at her calling them.

Parents furious because the police had been involved over something so small and silly. No violence or theft involved, nobody being bullied or anything.

It's not impossible at all. Any complaint should be treated in confidence. Any. Deeply unprofessional to tell the kids. What other 'confidential' things might she let slip? I would be contacting the governors for sure.

And exactly what Ginmummy said.

The HT has completely overreacted (instead of just discreetly and firmly putting a stop to inappropriate 'mystery' action).

She has also mentioned your name and therefore making it look like you are joining her in the overreaction.

Very annoying and unprofessional of her, I'd be fuming OP. She has handled this really badly.

Now there may be a backlash directed at you and your child...

I NEED TO KNOW WHAT YOU REPORTED. IT'S KILLING ME.

Will you tell us if we guess? Maybe we can do it in hangman form? Go on OP, give us the number of words and letters!

I really want to know what the report was, completely understand why you're not saying though, this sounds like DM fodder!

Did she out your name after the police visit? Could be that she was reprimanded by them for wasting time and she probably felt a bit silly so directed her embarrassment and anger at you because you were the complainant.

I NEED TO KNOW WHAT YOU REPORTED. IT'S KILLING ME

She is adamant not to tell us, I don't understand why she would create a thread asking us if we think she is being unreasonable, but won't tell us what she reported.

OP we have taken time out to read and reply to this thread yes, but still you won't tell us what you reported!!!!

I don't know why it matters what they did?

Why does that have a baring on if she should have told other children or not?

Because I'm dying of curiosity here!!

I don't have much in life. C'mon OP, help a poor bucket out.

Richard I PMd you about 5 minutes ago!

PriscillatheKing It does matter, simple reason you've told us something has happened, and now you are upset that the head-teacher told everyone...

It is just like me starting a thread saying that something happened but I'm not willing to disclose it, and now I'm left upset because the teacher told the pupils and the pupils told their mothers now I'm dreading going to the school in the morning.

Pathetic to say the least...

Oh Sorry OP, I never check PMs. goes off to read

dont forget to tell us what she said

I sort of need to know too...

Perhaps the HT was acknowledging you for raising the concern.

Although if you feel you have been 'dropped in it' perhaps is wasn't a serious issue - you only have to read MN to see posters being advised to 'see the teacher/HT/Governors of all sort so of slights and affronts.

Champs. Maybe you need to re read the thread. I'm not upset she told anyone. I wanted them to stop what they were doing. Happy for her to put a stop to it and tell them all offf.

She didn't need to tell them it was me who told her about it. I don't think that's hard to grasp.

If the op were to say what it is & it was picked up by the DM then all the parents/teachers in the school who happen to read the DM would know the op had posted about it & that would make things worse.

I totally understand why you are not saying what it is.

Yeah, it's definitely DM fodder. (Not meaning to do that 'I know and you don't ner ner ner ner ner' thing - just backing up the OP)

I've decided if I ever need to write a DM fodder thread, I'm namechanging to "ThickRacistsReadTheDailyMail" first.

Regardless of what the complaint was, the HT was out of order to mention OP's name. You just don't do that. No names are ever mentioned in assemblies,class talk etc. It should be done is general terms of children are doing x,parents have complained of y etc.
OP said the HT involved the police,which was OTT,so now the parents are angry,and they have a target for that anger.

P.s. My guess is the kids were doing/saying something of a sexual nature,in a childish just saw it on the telly it's nothing big way,and the HT got the police involved over it?