Trifecta of urgh: a new born baby, MIL and an incontinent elderly dog.

[MumofChuckie]

I'm close to due date, will have a newborn baby over Christmas. MIL keen to know when we'all be visiting, but she understands there is no set date and it will be when we're ready.

The PiLs live at the other end of the country, but we've offered to do the journey than have them come to London (they're competent but elderly). Yes it will be a pain with a new baby in a car journey or train journey but we're going to just make it work.... somehow.

MIL says on the phone last night 'I'm glad you're coming and not us leaving the dog. He's lost control of his bladder and bowels and it wouldn't be fair to leave him'.

This is news to me and the thought of taking a new born to a house with dog wee and poo continually trickling everywhere sounds, well, fucking awful.

What to do?

Part of me thinks suck it up, keep everything as sterile as possible, don't not visit the new grandparents.

The other part of me thinks I'm not commiting to taking a new born on a very long journey, with a battered fanjo, mastering the art of breast feeding to a house covered in dog crap.

(Fully expecting to be flamed. Please note I have a dog myself, and despite many comments on my weight, I a lso don't mind my MiL)

The dog isn't really the issue as a newborn won't be around it and no danger of it crawling into any mess. As long as everyone maintains good hygiene which they should anyway it's not a big problem for you

However I wouldn't commit to anything until after you have the baby and see how you feel, pain wise and emotionally, whether you're up to the journey and stress of being away from Home.

Yeah my answer has been changed a bit on reflection - how soon after birth you will be travelling and how far you need to go. I was one of those annoying people who was on my feet again straight after the birth (kind of never off them actually) but I was fucking exhausted from sleep deprivation, which reached its nadir at the 3-4 week mark. You'd be better flying, surely? Flying with a breastfed newborn and a sling is quite straightforward. That said, I don't really think the dog has much to do with it. Play it by ear but be prepared to plan a later visit.

I'd also negotiate to have the dog nappied for the duration of your stay if you are going, and to keep them confined to an area outside of where you and the baby will mostly be.

Don't make any promises. You really don't know how you'll feel.

Obviously you'll need to let them know before they go food shopping, but that won't be for several weeks yet.

The dog may not survive the next month, poor thing. I don't think he's the biggest concern anyway.

"LizzieMacQueen

The dog if elederly and in pain might be better put to sleep, is that something your DH could suggest to them."

What a vile thought. Luckily you don't own this pet. I am disgusted.

Eh? I don't see what is wrong with that and I'm not the only poster who is suggesting that the incontinence may be down to an impending end anyway.

Play it by ear. I wouldn't have been up to a long journey within a month of my CS or tear. I was knackered from sitting in a 2.5 hr journey 6 weeks after a CS. A month after the tear, I could just about face sitting on something other than an ice pack.

It may be coincidence, but the evening I had a 3 month old baby at A&E with erratic breathing was the day that we'd done a two hour journey, had several hours visiting then two hours return (although it was humid and hayfever weather too). It is well worth stopping and getting baby out of for regular stretches at services. Some journeys are better for this than others. Motorways are better than A roads for the opportunity.

Incontinent dog and young baby is better than crawler, although you've bought back traumatic memories of waking up on the floor after a hen night to find the mother's incontinent dog attempting to hump my head. His legs were short too. Bleugh!

I read this as incontinent MIL......

When your baby arrives you wont want to go even more op.

Dont go.

An incontinent anything would stop me visiting anyones home.
The dog will continue to do the things it's always done, so if it gets on the sofa, jumps up at people etc it will still do this regardless of its incontinence. With the kitchen being the typical room to not be carpeted the dog if it is confined, will likely be in there, where all the food etc is, that creeps me out thinking about it. I wouldn't keep food in my bathroom despite the fact nobody pees etc on the floor ,cabinets etc, but it's still unhygienic. Don't assume it's on its last legs either, my friends dog has been bladder incontinent since before her kids were born, and one is now 5! They considered rehoming her before their DD was born, but realistically knew nobody would adopt an incontinent dog and she'd be left rotting in a kennel.

There's nothing whatsoever 'vile' about considering having an elderly and in pain pet put to sleep! In fact it is often the kindest option.

Yy to the change in car seat advice. It is not advised that babies under 4 weeks should only be taken on essential journeys.