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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be upset over a fib (that actually may be a lie)

80 replies

Verticalvenetianblinds · 14/11/2016 07:45

I drive dh's car, he drives mine for various reasons. I keep mine in good running condition but it has just had an expensive service/mot.
We spend the whole being a bit poor, nothing to bad, just no luxurys, in overdrafts etc despite working v hard and earning quite well.
I asked him to sort out mot for his car, hes been a bit vague. Finally told me its due end of Nov so he'll get it booked in. In a moment of clarity I googled whens my mot up, dvla website says it expired at end of August! So he's lying about it. But I suppose its possible he genuinely didn't know...
I drive the kids around in it so now I'm nail bitingly anxious. Going to discuss it later after work but aibu to think this is actually quite a 'big' thing to mislead me on?!

OP posts:
JosephineMaynard · 14/11/2016 09:20

It's an easy thing to forget about , especially if you're not sent a reminder by a garage.

Not quite sure why you'd jump to the conclusion it's a deliberate lie rather than a forgetful oversight on your DHs part. I don't see why a conversation about how you've checked online and it actually ran out months ago would have to be confrontational and involve you kicking off either.

But, anyway, now you know, the only sensible thing to do is get it booked in for an MOT ASAP and not use it until that's sorted.

HeCantBeSerious · 14/11/2016 09:33

most of the big insurers want a valid mot

No, they don't!

minisoksmakehardwork · 14/11/2016 09:43

I wonder if at some point the mot was due at the end of Nov and he's looking at an old certificate. It's possible if you've kept every one and if you've mot'd it slightly early a couple of times it would push it to the end of August.

Either way the only way to prove it now without saying you checked up on him is to find the current certificate.

HeCantBeSerious · 14/11/2016 09:44

It's possible if you've kept every one and if you've mot'd it slightly early a couple of times it would push it to the end of August.

Not really. You'd have to MOT it more than a month before expiry, and who does that? (Perhaps once if selling but regularly? That would be bonkers.)

magicstar1 · 14/11/2016 09:45

Maybe he genuinely got mixed up?
I had to show some photo ID back in August. When I took out my driving licence I realised it had expired a week earlier. I was absolutely convinced it was valid until October! I was annoyed that they hadn't sent me a reminder, but went and got a new licence. Two weeks later I found the letter in a drawer - they'd sent it in July Blush

AyeAmarok · 14/11/2016 09:46

If he has "form" for this, I'd be pretty annoyed OP. I would struggle to believe it was an innocent mistake.

Redglitter · 14/11/2016 09:48

If you get stopped by the police you could find your car being towed away.

Original poster
Verticalvenetianblinds · 14/11/2016 10:42

He has form. I am annoyed. Hes also now ignoring me which is more annoying

OP posts:
HummusForBreakfast · 14/11/2016 10:51

If he has form, then yes I would be VERY annoyed, would keep my car and refuse to use his.
And would have a serious chat about him wanting to 'protect you'. Because 1- he isn't and 2- he is just burryi g his head in the sand, which never solves anything.

CotswoldStrife · 14/11/2016 11:02

Why are you doing all this by text OP? It seems a bit strange - you didn't believe him, you checked up - either book it in or stop using it. If you are using it since you checked and found the MOT wasn't valid, why? Especially if there is another car you can use, then you can use your own and pass the problem back to him.

When did you check the MOT date?

SoupDragon · 14/11/2016 11:05

I wonder if at some point the mot was due at the end of Nov and he's looking at an old certificate.

Except she checked online with the DVLA.

SoupDragon · 14/11/2016 11:05

Oh, Ive got my Hes and Shes mixed up.

MyKingdomForBrie · 14/11/2016 11:17

Well take your car back as he can't be trusted.

Original poster
Verticalvenetianblinds · 14/11/2016 11:30

I checked this morning once at work. I can only text, cant ring as at work. I need to get home then will not be using it again. Hes since replied and is acting confused but had said he'll get it booked when he can! Which made me angry. He seems to think its ok if he uses it. Stupid man.

OP posts:
shovetheholly · 14/11/2016 11:38

My MOT renews at the same time every year. So say it's due by 1 November, I can have it done a few weeks in advance and it will still renew to Nov 1st. So the date doesn't change. You can't get road tax unless you have a valid MOT - it won't let you do it on the computer anyway.

I understand the point that not all car insurance is invalid without an MOT (I didn't actually know this), but surely if some becomes invalid that way, then this is still taking a big risk?

HummusForBreakfast · 14/11/2016 11:52

For next time, what we have done is to write MOT on our calendar at home so there is no way to forget it again. Each car is on it too.

I think you will need a word with him again. I agree it can't be 'when I have time'

Allthewaves · 14/11/2016 12:12

Swap them over then stick dates for bot cars on family calendar

Allthebestnamesareused · 14/11/2016 12:20

Sorry to those of you saying MOT does not invalidate the insurance. I used to work for insurance assessors. If the insurance company can get out of paying a claim they will. Usually they would still continue to pay a third party you hit but they would not pay for damage to your own car. Although the car may have been perfectly roadworthy and passed without issues there will be a presumption that no MOT means car not roadworthy. The only way perhaps to prove it was is if you had had a recent service.

EverythingEverywhere1234 · 14/11/2016 12:34

Just sounds like a simple mistake, don't know why you're being so angry about it? Now you know, just don't drive it... Why is it his job to sort it for you? You're an adult.
I cocked up before and drove without an MOT for three and a half months because I got my dates for my insurance and my MOT mixed up. I felt SUCH a tool when I realised and I had been so lucky not to have been stopped so I am rather careful about it now.

SpookyPotato · 14/11/2016 12:41

It's really daft that you don't get reminded like with tax and insurance.. there are a few occasions we have gone a month over by mistake, a year goes by so quickly. I've now started putting a reminder on my phone!

Original poster
Verticalvenetianblinds · 14/11/2016 12:43

I'm angry coz its his car, I'm responsible and look after mine. Hes left me in a position that I don't like if I get caught by the police. Tho to be fair I have to be bloody unlucky to get caught driving home tonight after 3 months of unwittingly driving it around!

OP posts:
Roundrobin1234 · 14/11/2016 12:48

so you've been driving a car without MoT for three months. As the driver isn't it your responsibility to check the car is road legal?

HummusForBreakfast · 14/11/2016 12:58

But should you first be able to TRUST your partner to do the MOT when it's needed rather than having to do some detective work?

I mean it would annoy me a lot of dh was to check if the MOT has been done because I would assume he doesn't trust me to do it. Wouldn't you??

Roundrobin1234 · 14/11/2016 13:07

We both know when both cars are due. It's on a calendar and we have a file with all the paperwork.

If you look at it another way. If the OP runs someone over because the brakes have failed, 'I'm sorry your husband/wife/child/whoever is in hospital, but I thought my husband had checked it' isn't going to be of much comfort to them.

carrie74 · 14/11/2016 13:14

I'd just book it in now rather than wait for him to do it, what's stopping you doing that?