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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be upset over a fib (that actually may be a lie)

80 replies

Verticalvenetianblinds · 14/11/2016 07:45

I drive dh's car, he drives mine for various reasons. I keep mine in good running condition but it has just had an expensive service/mot.
We spend the whole being a bit poor, nothing to bad, just no luxurys, in overdrafts etc despite working v hard and earning quite well.
I asked him to sort out mot for his car, hes been a bit vague. Finally told me its due end of Nov so he'll get it booked in. In a moment of clarity I googled whens my mot up, dvla website says it expired at end of August! So he's lying about it. But I suppose its possible he genuinely didn't know...
I drive the kids around in it so now I'm nail bitingly anxious. Going to discuss it later after work but aibu to think this is actually quite a 'big' thing to mislead me on?!

OP posts:
blueskyinmarch · 14/11/2016 08:19

Why didn’t you just text him to say you looked it up and it was due in August? I don’t understand why you asked him to confirm the date. He has already said he thinks to os November. Stop playing games, get it booked in ASAP. Save the argument for after the car is sorted and stop driving around in a car with no MOT now you know it is well out of date.

Cucumber5 · 14/11/2016 08:19

drive his and let him catch the bus or cycle.

NicknameUsed · 14/11/2016 08:20

I only get a reminder because I have a service agreement with the garage and they remind me about the MOT as well.

You do need to be very sure when the MOT is or was due because, as other posters have pointed out, no MOT invalidates your insurance.

Cucumber5 · 14/11/2016 08:20

Drive the MOT'd one

HeCantBeSerious · 14/11/2016 08:22

Your insurance is invalidated without an MOT and the police could seize the vehicle if you are stopped

There's a tiny number of insurers for whom this is true. The vast majority just require the car to be roadworthy rather than having a valid MOT (since an MOT only proves roadworthiness for the period it's being tested - a bulb could go leaving the garage making the car legally unroadworthy).

IminaPickle · 14/11/2016 08:22

It's incredibly easy to go past the date- no reminders sent. Why are you assuming he's playing games? Who has the car's paperwork? Confused

HeCantBeSerious · 14/11/2016 08:23

no MOT invalidates your insurance

HummusForBreakfast · 14/11/2016 08:26

I have missed an MOT on my car by several months. It was a genuine mistake and we booked it for its MOT as soon as we realised.
My main issue was that I am not sure that you are insured if you don't have a valid MOT (someone might be able to confirm that).

However, the idea that it's OK to drive a car wo a MOT and KNOWING about it is plain crazy.
I suspect that he is afraid it will cost more than you can afford. The issue being that if the car needs some repairs, it means that it isn't safe to drive and therefore it really needs the repairs iyswim.

SoupDragon · 14/11/2016 08:26

Can you afford the potential fine for driving a car with no MOT?

HummusForBreakfast · 14/11/2016 08:27

Xpost. Happy to learn that a lack of MOT doesn't invalidate your insurance. I had been really worried about that!

HummusForBreakfast · 14/11/2016 08:27

Btw YANBU to give him his car tomorrow and refuse to drive it. I would.

Meadows76 · 14/11/2016 08:33

Is insurance actually invalidated? Would chk with insurance co I think. If not, then I'd drive it and hope u don't get stopped, if it is invalidated then wouldn't drive it.. If your insurance company says to you that it's ok to drive the car illegally then I would be looking for a new insurance company. Seriously the car has no MOT get it booked in for one.

Meadows76 · 14/11/2016 08:36

Happy to learn that a lack of MOT doesn't invalidate your insurance. I had been really worried about that!. Actually it can, the rules are rather varying. However I can't understant why anyone would happily drive a car illegally and risk a fine Confused

NicknameUsed · 14/11/2016 08:48

You can't tax a car without an MOT.

Original poster
Verticalvenetianblinds · 14/11/2016 08:49

Told him to book it in and I'll be driving it home after work and then no more til its done. Hes not replied!

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 14/11/2016 08:49

Triple check on HERE then just show him when it was due.
Simple really.
No need for a row just tell him you want it done this week.

blitheringbuzzards1234 · 14/11/2016 08:55

You must, must, must get this sorted. Book it in for MOT and then write it down on your calendar so that it never gets forgotten again - and ensure that this gets carried over to next year's calendar/diary and so on. In the future I'd be self-reliant if I were in your shoes. Never rely on someone else to do this for you if they're the forgetful/too busy type. It may have just been an oversight but even so ... it's important.

Bluntness100 · 14/11/2016 08:58

To be honest, it doesn't sound very healthy, for you to assume he's lying deliberately to uou and for you to then in turn not be honest with him either that you knew it was due.

I get all relationships are different, but this doesn't seem very normal to me, I'm sorry,

HeCantBeSerious · 14/11/2016 08:59

If your insurance company says to you that it's ok to drive the car illegally then I would be looking for a new insurance company.

If anything, insurers are more stringent in asking for roadworthiness than having an MOT (as a car can be unroadworthy 10 mins after the certificate being issued but still be certified for a year). Perhaps you need a change of perspective (given 90+% of insurers demand roadworthiness over an MOT cert clearly they know something you don't. Wink).

RockyBird · 14/11/2016 09:01

Police are really good at catching people without MOT/insurance/tax these days through automatic number plate recognition.

I've done the same myself in genuine error back in the day but I wouldn't risk it now.

Jengnr · 14/11/2016 09:06

I've done it. Thought my MOT was due in June. Would have bet my life on it. Checked the paperwork at the end of May....it was January. Booked it in straight away (and it cost me 400 quid :mad: )

This all sounds very odd though, it's an easy mistake to make and jumping to the conclusion that he lied is a big leap without a backstory. As is checking and not telling him you know. Is there more to this?

ajandjjmum · 14/11/2016 09:09

Sorry if your DH is lying to you.

But for those saying you know when your MOT is due - you might, but I often don't. It's one of the 'life admin' things that can easily slip my mind, and if the garage didn't remind me (or the DVLA notice) it could easily be missed.

Bluntness100 · 14/11/2016 09:12

If the mot is up, then there is a chance so is the road tax and the insurance, I know I do mine annually and I can't renew my road tax without my mot certificate. Insurance auto renews, but as said, most of the big insurers want a valid mot.

MimiSunshine · 14/11/2016 09:18

You are lucky you haven't driven past a police car / camera with ANPR equipment on board as you would automatically flag up as being without an MOT, they'll pull you over and fine you £60 (may have changed since I was pulled 😊) andca very limited time to get it done I.e. By the next day which if you need to coordinate getting to work / school runs etc then doesn't leave much time

Just officially swap cars (sign them over to each other) then you can be sure you are looking after yours and he can gamble with his

Mouikey · 14/11/2016 09:19

Easy mistake but the police will go via the information at the DVLA unless you have paperwork proving otherwise. Best to get it done as you don't want a fine and the cost of the mot to deal with!

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