Remodel me, please?

[SquawkFish]

AIBU to ask you all for some input to help me remodel myself?

It’s been a really rough couple of years and this New Year is going to be a big New Year, New Me thing (although this is like the launch event, there’s already been a lot of work gone on behind the scenes).

Firstly - you get to suggest names for a new blog where I can write down ramblings about life, nature and healthiness, and how I got back on track after the shit times.

Secondly - you get to redesign my wardrobe. Need a smart casual workwear one, and a semi casual one. I’ve mostly been living in jeans and jerseys for the last year… I have plenty of dead casual clothes. Any suggestions would be hugely appreciated. My budget is 1500 - so nothing designer, but would like stuff that lasts and is functional. I am more suited to trousers, or skater style dresses and skirts... I like blues, greys, hmm, blues and greys (I think I may need to venture out of this colour rut, even the bloody therapist comments on it).

Thirdly - my hair. It needs some post alopecia love (it’s a shortish very unruly bob with patches at the moment). Can't be too wild as want to look sleek and professional during the day.

Fourthly - please name one pet hate you have that people do and one thing you love that you’ve noticed people doing.

Fifthly - any times for confidence / anxiety you have up your sleeves, please share, particularly when in a workplace or dealing with colleagues.

Squawky.

Sorry to see nobody's replied. I read it but didn't really know what to say.

I wonder whether you'd get more responses if you broke it down into separate posts? You have lots of big questions going on!

Good luck with it all by the way :)

Squawk - if i was you i would head to Style and beauty and just do the clothes/hair aspect. They are usually very helpful over there but really like pictures if you are willing to be brave?? The other stuff will probably follow from there.

1. Squawkfish
2. That's a big job - post on Style And Beauty board.
3. I don't know what you want suggesting? Styles? Products?
4. Pet hates (of many): talking to me when I'm eating, banging their keyboards loudly, talking over me. Pet loves: looking at me directly when I'm talking.
5. Talk how you want to be perceived - you'll start to embody it (even if it sounds completely false in the beginning).

1. Squawkfish
2. With that budget you could employ someone, John Lewis or other big stores do it, they'll come to your house go through your wardrobe as well as take you shopping. Malls may offer something similar.
3. Talk to an alopecia group
4. Pet hates: no manners Pet loves: good manners
5. Confidence? I think that will come, get some decent friends and you do that by being a good friend.

Hate fake tan.

Love 50s makeup.

I think you should go for the whole 50s/rockabilly look.

1. Pet hates (work specific!): Eating hot smelly food at your desk. Checking phone while in a one-to-one meeting. Pet loves: people who say thank you, people willing to go the extra mile (even if not in "job description")

1. If running a meeting or call and you are worried or feeling out of your depth write down a sort of script to keep you on track. Generally fake it till you make it! I used to pretend i was playing the character of a confident person, and slowly I have become more confident.

Best of luck with everything!

It would help if we had some kind of idea what kind of work you're doing, so replies could be targetted and more specific, but without that, just general thoughts which may, or might not help any.

1. Blog

Keep it clear and simple. This Is Me/Setting Out after... or something like that. A just does what it says on the tin kind of style.

1. Wardrobe

You need a capsule wardrobe and basing it around blue and grey basic pieces is fine. Pick an accent colour that you love and which you think suits you. Burnt Orange, Bright Teal, a shade of Pink or Red? If it were me I'd buy a pair of boots that I absolutely love, you'll know the kind you want.

Do you know your body shape and basically what you feel comfortable in? You need some kind of jacket with either trousers of some kind or a long skirt maybe with boots? Make a Pinterest Board for the looks you like and book a personal shopping appointment at a high street store like John Lewis. Get some honest feedback, these people are good at their job. Just don't be pushed into anything you don't love. Your clothes should be a pleasure to wear and give you a good sense of self. I got an Autumn/Winter capsule wardrobe once at Selfridges and wore everything to death. It made getting up and going to work very easy and I felt great in everything I put on.

1. Hair

Seriously your hairdresser is better placed to advise then those of us who can't see you. Personally I'd sacrifice length for a flattering cut and would take advice on how products might help in the styling and longer term. This is well worth spending on and once I'd got a good cut, possibly a colour too if recommended, then I'd go to a department store and ask around the makeup counters to see if something might add to my confidence - you may or may not like makeup but it costs nothing to ask.

Lastly, pet love and hates. Presume for work but could apply in all social situations.
I really dislike flakey people who utter some social pleasantry but don't pay any attention. People who focus on something else while you're replying, or look over your shoulder scanning the distance for something that might (just) be something more interesting.

I like people who genuinely engage, ask for clarification if they don't understand something instead of pretending and ballsing up and are kind by nature.

In essence, you may not yet have found your way, but if you make an effort and get out there, own it and don't think you have to be 100% perfect, you'll make your place in the world and good luck to you
Get yourself over to the Style and Beauty board for more specific help, the posters there are lovely.