Father in law and physical abuse, Aibu?

[Nord]

FIL was a violent man and physically abusive towards DH as a child.

He was also emotionally abusive towards DH's mother. She subsequently left him, had a breakdown and neglected DH and his siblings.

DH is now close to his mother and siblings. His father found God and has worked hard to become a better person apparently. DH and him speak and see each other. I've met FIL a few times but he and his wife live far away from us.

DH had been really suffering with his mental health lately due to the past and the more he tells me the more furious I get at FIL.

Aibu to refuse to see FIL or let my DC see him? DH had seemingly forgiven him.

Graphista you did what you thought was right at the time. May i ask, did you have a husband/partner or your dd's dad in your life? Did they agree?

I think the OP by showing some boundaries here is helping her dh.

I hope she has strong boundaries against being a victim of abuse.

Graphista I think it is so encouraging that your daughter made the decision she did.

Dds dad was only around until she was 2 (WHOLE other story!)

He was sort of supportive but wouldn't commit saying it was my decision as it was my father (which sounds good, what it actually meant was he couldn't care less and was a coward when it came to big decisions anyway)

She is not great at being open (just her personality) but is getting a bit better.

Just signed in and wanted to say a massive thank you for all the advice, views, stories and support. Will read through again now

Hi Nord hope it was helpful. Do tell us how things pan out, if you feel you can.