To not think an 8 year old should see a wedding as important?

[PigInMuck86]

I posted about my little sister and the saga of dress shopping. Well we managed that and she handed out save the date cards - the date is dd1s birthday. Dd1 is delighted, she is excited to be a flower girl and loves the idea of seeing her family on her birthday. She is 8 and birthdays are still a big deal so has mentioned this to lots of people. This has got reported back to little sis who is now very upset that dd1 is talking about her birthday being on the wedding. Apparently i am to explain to her that the wedding is more important and that she needs to not see it as a birthday. I'm not planning on doing anything birthday related at the wedding and nor is dd1 - she is just excited about her birthday and obv at 8 knows the date. AIBU to tell my sister she is the fecking grown up? And if she cares so much why pick that date? She had 3 choices that worked!

YANBU - my cousin got married on DD's birthday and got a cake and everyone sang happy birthday as she realises the world doesn't revolve around her and her wedding and that birthdays are important to children.

I see the badge has already been suggested - wise minds! And the Happy Birthday song should definitely coincide with the cutting of the cake. And if you really wanted to have fun you could pop a sparkly 8 candle in the top while no-one's looking.

And like others have said she really should be marking it in some way herself as your dd is going to be missing her b'day to attend the wedding!

Is this the same bride who was being UNBELIEVABLY awkward about the dress shopping? Even if not she is being RIDICULOUS and needs to grow the fuck up!

8 year olds are of course excited about birthdays

I second making a huge drama and placing dd on a throne with crown, flashing badge, sash and HUGE birthday cake brought out at reception and everyone singing happy birthday!

At my wedding my witnesses fiancé had his birthday the day before, I barely knew him, still made sure to give him a card and small gift and he was wished a happy birthday in husbands speech. And THAT was for an adult!

If this is the bride I think it is your mother needs to have a frank discussion with her regarding the world does NOT revolve around her and her precious wedding!

Oh my word, your sister is an arsehole.
She is really willing to begrudge a child, her niece, her own birthday? She's not just a bridezilla she's a bad aunt.

I'd be telling her if she wants to be that person you won't be doing her dirty work for her and yiu won't be backing her up on it. I'd then invite the family over for a birthday breakfast on the morning of the wedding... But I'm just petty.

What an arse. Get your daughter this to wear all day!

Your little sister should grow the hell up, and stop acting like a child. You will do no such thing, I would be taking your sister down a peg or two!

Do you know what you are getting your dd for her birthday op? Heeleys are popular with that age and they do them with disco lights on the bottom now. please let her glide flashing up the aisle wearing a birthday sash and a massive badge

Your sister is being very silly. It's not like your DD is going to be the centre of attention is it! I second the giant flashing birthday badge maybe they could play Happy Birthday as the bride walks up the aisle

The birthday should be acknowledged in the speeches by the groom or best man. It will be lovely for DD to spend her birthday being a bridesmaid.

How can your sister be so selfish. Of course your dd should see her birthday as her birthday. She will be 8. Your sister needs to grow up and realise she is not centre of the universe. She could have picked a different day. My nephews birthdays are important to whole family just as my two children's are. Your sister doesn't sound old enough to get married if she is seriously worried about your dd taking attention away from her

Is your sister normally so self-absorbed? I actually cant get my head round someone being like this!

Is it likely the bride remembered that was the date of her niece's birthday?

YANBU. Birthday badge and tiara - to be worn in ALL the photos!

Wow, if I was your little sister OP I'd be having a birthday cake made for your DD to cut alongside the wedding cake! And getting happy birthday sung during the speeches.

It's unfair to expect an 8 year old to not be excited about their birthday. Your DD sounds very sweet being pleased to be seeing family on the day.

Your sister on the other hand, sounds pathetic. You can't organise a big event on a child who is a close relative's birthday and then expect said child to prioritise the event over their own birthday and pretend it isn't happenjng. Is she on glue?

Oh god. What a twat.

Sorry, I actually don't have anything else to say!

It was my 40th on the day of my friend's wedding. They made a huge fuss of me, mentioned my birthday in the speeches, got me a cake, then Paused the evening disco to sing happy birthday 😱😳

I'd tell your sis that it's been your DD's dream to have a barber shop quartet sing happy birthday to her and that you've arranged for them to arrive at the reception around 4.30.

I got married on my (now ex) DH's niece's 7th birthday and she was a bridesmaid. As we got to the altar the vicar announced that we would all sing happy birthday to her and it was magical. Didn't detract from my day, in fact, made it more special and memorable.

So, YDNBU. She is being petty and if she doesn't like it then she should have picked a different date!

Your sister had every other date to chose from. She's being pathetic and I think I'd go for that flashing badge

Thats very weird, we have a family wedding abroad next year (my cousin) on my DD's 8th birthday!

Because it is abroad, we're all staying at the venue the night before so we've said to DD that the morning is all about her - she can have as much cake, presents etc as she wants and will be surrounded by the whole extended family (probably not the bride) - she is beside herself with excitement.

But we've explained it so that hopefully she'll calm down a little - have said to her that in the afternoon, its really all about my cousin (and the groom!) - she can still be the birthday girl but my cousin only gets one wedding day and wants it to be extra special, whereas DD gets a birthday every year.

FWIW its different obviously because my cousin didn't realise it was DDs birthday and she's just thrilled that we're all making the effort to go - no bridezilla threats at all. So I do think your sister is being a bit dramatic - there is no reason why it can't be a birthday and a wedding!

and that crown

Your sister is being an arse.

Similar situation - my cousin whispered to me, just as we were having the photos taken at our wedding, that she had got engaged the night before. My new husband congratulated her and her fiancé during his speech, and we all drank a toast to them. It made our wedding day even more special.

What kind of arse wouldn't be excited about their 8-year-old niece having their birthday on her wedding day ffs?!

sillypussy that's lovely

Your DD1 clearly DOES see the wedding as important as she's excited that it's on her birthday!

Your sister is being an idiot.

At my wedding we sang happy birthday to someone - at at least two others guests have been congratulated on a recent engagement.

Your sister is being idiotic.

If I had to book my wedding on someone's birthday, I would make sure I made a fuss of that person on the day.

A child being told they can't celebrate their birthday is ridiculous and impossible.

I'd be telling sister to sort her head out.

"Why pick the date of her nieces birthday then moan when her niece is understandably excited? "
^ This. Your sister is being ridiculous.