Is the mother who refuses access a bad mother

[martinisandcake]

I may have had one too many martinis but my partner is the father of an 20month old daughter who his is seeing fortnightly for one hour at an interrelate centre because him mother is angry about their separation.

She believes he should be punished for leaving her.

He left because of her Mh problems and her $200000 debt which he eventually refused to pay.

Her punishment is to withhold contact with his daughter.

Am I wrong in thinking this makes her a bad mother?

It doesn't add up. You're saying the court wouldn't grant more access, yet she's abusive?

Who is wrong and who is right? Both of them, maybe.

The point was that regardless of the mother and her feelings towards the father, why should she be able to restrict that contact, if it is not in the best interest of the child she is simply being selfish and selfish again

This is nothing more than a 40 something (so not a young girl who doesn't have any life experience) who is angry about the break up and is punishing him in the most terrible way

But the court didn't see it like that did they? What about his shit hot lawyer? Unless you were sat in the hearings, you only have his word for this, it appears to me. OP, you have yet to address the question asked by many posters...this man left a woman with a newborn baby that he said was physically abusive and with mental health issues, so why has he got restricted supervised contact only and why didn't he immediately take steps to remove a child from a woman both he and you are suggesting is a danger? Something doesn't ring quite right here, sorry..

Goodness,

They haven't had a hearing yet. Hence the limited contact.

And because she was abusive to her husband in what was perhaps an unhappy marriage does that automatically make her a danger to her own child or anyone around her. Are you suggesting that he ought to have arrived on her doorstep and taken a weeks old baby away from her mother?

This seems to have moved way off track here, is it so unfeasible that a woman who is angry and bitter may use her child to punish a man.

Thinking only of her own anger and feelings?

Anyway the question was that a woman who is deliberately withholding contact for her own personal reasons, not the interest of the child, does this make her a bad mother.

Yes!

How much do your own kids see their father op?

Some women are bitches. Being the male makes him the bad one whatever in some Mumsnetter eyes.
She is one pissed off ex , doing what she can to make things difficult

He left her because she was mentally ill. I'm not surprised she's peeved in a major fucking way. That said however he still the child's daddy, and . Let's be honest. There is only so much a human being can take, so. I don't normally do this, but. I'm kind of on the fence

This seems to have moved way off track here, is it so unfeasible that a woman who is angry and bitter may use her child to punish a man

It is unfeasible that a court would order supervised access without good reason.

Honestly, OP, I would take everything he says with a massive grain of salt. Although saying that, I too, am emotionally unstable, mentally abusive and an unfit parent. TBH, I am surprised that my children have made it to their teens, given the dire level of parenting I offer.

The Aust family law provisions are different. There is a presumption of shared parental responsibility. There are criteria for a contact centre order, even at the interim stages, and parents are encouraged to move on from contact centres over time. OP, don't kid yourself.

I think you should possibly rephrase the question by asking if she's being unreasonable or unfair, rather than repeatedly asking if she's a 'bad mother'. As we don't know the full circumstances here, yes it's possible she's being a bit manipulative but it doesn't make her a bad mother. It's a horrible turn of phrase.

I would guess you don't have the full story. Easy to suggest 'a bad mother' when you're on the other side.

We have shared care, my Exh has them 3 days a week, he lives five minutes from me too so we are able to catch up if someone is missing the other or there is any problem and one of us needs help.