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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Facebook: People saying "happy birthday" to other people's kids

94 replies

thebloodycat · 08/11/2016 14:48

Just a small rant.

I often see a parent post a photo (old or new) saying something like "happy birthday to our darling baby girl, can't believe you're 5 already" blah blah blah, vomit. What I then find even more odd and annoying is then 500 of their friends will start saying "happy birthday xxx".

What's the bloody point? The kid isn't on Facebook!!?

Or am I being mean??

OP posts:

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 08/11/2016 16:01

I don't understand it either OP and I don't try to. I have a FB account but anybody who means anything to my children will wish them happy birthday directly. Random people saying it means nothing to me or to them. I just wouldn't like it.

But to some people, it's really important. So they do it and like it when other people do it too.

Maccapacca88 · 08/11/2016 16:01

A bit annoying, but not as bad as RIP messages on Facebook! That really weirds me out...

Original poster

thebloodycat · 08/11/2016 16:03

autumnrained - oh those people that say "the staff at xxx hospital are excellent" then everyone asks if they're ok and what's happened - silence .

OP posts:

Original poster

thebloodycat · 08/11/2016 16:03

Maccapacca88 haha they do make me feel a bit odd!

OP posts:

YummyMummyInWaiting · 08/11/2016 16:05

I also find it odd. If the birthday person isn't on FB and can't see it who are you saying Happy Birthday too?

It's just attention seeking like everything on FB, people seem to have lost touch with reality a bit.

Harmless but totally and completely pointless, unless in 20 years time the parents are going to save up all their "Happy Birthday" posts and show it to their kids to prove just how good parents they are

NerrSnerr · 08/11/2016 16:07

Yummy they can also show their children the huge pile of wrapped present pictures they post every birthday and Christmas. Some of those are hugely embarrassing.

MerryMarigold · 08/11/2016 16:09

It does super irritate me when the message is written to child'/ husband/ whatever. Like you can't say it to their face and have to use facebook. Just seems a bit passive aggressive except it's not aggressive, but you know...indirect.

However, people wishing your child a happy birthday because you put up some birthday pics or whatever is fine. I let me kids read them and they feel extra special!

YummyMummyInWaiting · 08/11/2016 16:10

Nerr I agree. Why don't they just post "look at what an AMAZING parent I am, everybody tell me I'm amazing" and be done with it

IWillOnlyEatBeans · 08/11/2016 16:10

Its a way of letting your friends know that it's your child's birthday. So they can wish your child a happy birthday!

I can't keep track of when all my friends' children's birthdays are. When they put it on FB I can write a message giving my best wishes and hoping that they have had a lovely day. I do this because I love my friends and want to acknowledge something that is obviously important to them.

I find it odd that people on here think that parents post birthday wishes on FB instead of saying it to their child. Don't you think they are capable of doing both?!

donajimena · 08/11/2016 16:12

I don't get it either
I saw a gushing one earlier wishing her daughter a happy birthday and to enjoy her special trip. The youngster isn't on Facebook.

Robinkitty · 08/11/2016 16:15

I posted about my ds bday on Facebook the other day, good way to remind family members who have forgotten ( fil I'm talking about you) and I did read him the messages. People we saw out and about that day and the next also wished him a happy birthday which was nice for him.

Original poster

thebloodycat · 08/11/2016 16:17

Robinkitty - I think if anyone forgot I wouldn't care whether they put it on Facebook or not as I wouldn't want to have to remind someone important. I suppose that's my point, if people care enough they'd send a card/say it in person.

OP posts:

Dadbot3000 · 08/11/2016 16:19

I do wonder what the reaction of our kids will be once they reach their teens and see that their entire childhood is on the Internet forever...

Original poster

thebloodycat · 08/11/2016 16:22

Yes, Dadbot3000 especially all of those scan and baby pic!! I'm pregnant with my fourth and people never understand why I don't make the announcement on there (pregnancy or birth).

OP posts:

TeacherBob · 08/11/2016 16:22

I make a point of never saying happy birthday to someone on facebook. My feeling is, if I care enough to really mean it, I will care enough to make the effort to see them or pick up the phone.

I am one of a minority though and hate Christmas too :p

GladAllOver · 08/11/2016 16:24

Yabu.
This sort of pointless crap is exactly what Facebook does best!

darceybussell · 08/11/2016 16:26

I agree OP I'm a miserable bugger too! And messages to grandparents who have died I don't get either - 'miss you so much granny can't believe it has been 2 years since we lost you' - whilst I'm not saying it's not really sad that your granny died, is that message really for granny to read? On facebook?

I suppose I'm being cynical but to me those kinds of messages are just to get attention.

MadameSilva · 08/11/2016 16:27

I find it a bit weird but I didn't say anything on fb about my dd's first birthday and I was quite touched that a few people remembered and posted (although a WhatsApp/text would have also been greatly appreciated)

Lilifer · 08/11/2016 16:30

I can moan about Facebook as much as the next person but I really really don't get this whole insistence that if people really want to be sincere in their birthday wishes they would send an actual card!

Really??? Because I'm old enough to remember when cards were the norm but I'm also still young enough to realise that many many people just don't do cards anymore, whether it's for birthdays Christmas or whatever precisely because it's so much easier to send a text or an e mail or social media message , that's just the way things are going. In the same way that letters have practically died out cards will too eventually. And so what?? It's like saying to someone back in the 1900s oh yes big deal so you sent me a card by post but if you really really loved me and meant it you'd have delivered the card on horseback yourself instead of being lazy and relying on that Royal Mail owned steam train!!

Life is constantly changing, this is what people do now, because they can, it's easy and it's free, and so bloody what. But give over about the cards, in twenty years time people will laugh at cards as outdated anachronisms.

YummyMummyInWaiting · 08/11/2016 16:33

What get's me the most is when parents post pictures of their poorly children "X is so sick today, hope he get's better soon, my little fighter" talk about attention seeking and not valuing your children's privacy. I'm sure X won't appreciate a picture of him in his pyjamas on the sofa throwing up.

It totally baffles me, "my child is sick, I must take a photo and put in on FB" ugh

A woman on FB, her daughter got admitted to hospital, really quite poorly, IV drip etc and she took a picture of her daughter in a hospital bed and posted it on FB, eh!? That wouldn't even enter my head, it would be the last thing on my mind. Your child is hooked up to an IV and your taking pictures

Soon2bC · 08/11/2016 16:35

its a memory, it comes up in your on this day.
When we started doing this it was just for fun however, when someone passes away it is always there (as long as the social media exists)
We have lost a young child in our family but every year there is something beautiful to look back on full of warm wishes to one who is lost.
I also know someone who has lost a parent who will one day be able to read these things written about them by someone who is not there and by their friends who cared.

it used to be about the fun and for some in our family it was the fishing.....now its about sharing love in a way that will probably live on longer than boxes of moldering cards.

I guess I am not as cynical anymore

mumofthemonsters808 · 08/11/2016 16:39

I'm another misery, I can understand relatives of the child commenting but not people who don't know the child, there again, it's a nice thing to say, worse things happen at sea. This comes from someone whose kids are absent from my fbook, it's just not for me boring people with tales about my children.

Witchend · 08/11/2016 17:24

Putting happy birthday to your child is something that doesn't bother me at all. If I know the child, I think something along the lines of "oh goodness are they 12 already" and write "happy birthday!"

MuddlingMackem · 08/11/2016 17:29

I don't usually wish either of my DC a happy birthday on facebook, but will often share a photo of them with a note that it's their birthday. Many friends will then wish them a happy birthday and they get to read them through at some point during the day.

I have friends on facebook who have never met my kids but probably feel they know them from my posts and photos, I know I certainly feel that way about their kids, so it's nice to be able to wish them a happy birthday even though they're not on the card list.

littlemissneela · 08/11/2016 17:46

I say happy birthday to these messages, and say I hope child has a lovely day with the intention this message is passed on. I think my friends show their kids the messages so they can see them.

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