To stop my son hanging around with this boy

[jaffacakesaremyfave]

My eldest DS (12) started this year at the local comprehensive secondary school.

At first he was walking to school with a group of children (one of which he went to primary with) but now they all seem to take the bus and he's started to walk with our next door neighbours DS who is the year above. My DS has a bus pass and I give him money for the bus each day but he walks and spends it on junk food. I work FT so leave before him in the morning.

Since he started walking with just him, he's been late several times and 'lost' £15 dinner money. The school have made several comments about this child that they think he is a bad influence on my DS. The school must have reasons for saying this but obviously won't tell me why.

My DS has had a troubled past with his father who he no longer has contact with and I'm worried that he's looking up to this older boy and getting up to things he shouldn't. He's no angel (bullies his younger brothers) but up until Now he's always been extremely well behaved at school and wouldn't have done anything to get into trouble.

WIBU to stop my DS from 'hanging around' with this boy and how do I handle the situation? Obviously I don't want to upset our neighbours or this child as he's clearly been labelled as a bad egg and I don't know the background story. I don't trust my DS enough to make the right judgement as he's very easily influenced by older males

What the fuck is wrong with you summer? Are you drunk or something?

Do you work summer?

Summer I'm going to do the kind thing and tell you to step away from mumsnet, have a big glass of water and get some shut eye.

Summer is clearly a tad on the dim side - or has never worked a day in her life.

Or is shitfaced

Summer, it's ironic that you're telling me I don't care about my son.....on a thread I specifically started because I care about my son

And I KNOW he's not on drugs because I see him every day. He goes to school every day. Is in the top sets for all subjects so surely his grades would suffer if he was a crackhead. He's not late everyday. He has been late 3 times since September.

I'd love to know what you feel is an appropriate age for him to travel by himself? 13? 18? 30? 75?

I have just realised that Summer is pissed as a fart.
Ignore her Jaffs

Jaffa, you've come up with some great strategies for sorting things out. Well done you.

You can always reassess if they don't work.

The other useful thing I've seen suggested on here is talking to your son about fictitious people but make out they are real

eg Sarah from work was telling me about her son the other day who was late for school every day and how concerned the school was and how she is being called into meetings and being asked to take him to school (or whatever you think would have an impact on your son).

So that way you are getting the ideas across of where being late all the time could lead to but without it sounding like a lecture, just a casual mention.

Good luck